(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 6

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 91
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  I don’t understand my feelings either. I guess I naively thought I’d feel a lot better by now. I was thinking of planting something in our yard to honor the baby in the spring, in addition to eventually getting some kind of birthstone jewelry. I think it would give me some closure, and be somewhat comforting. I don’t know if knowing the gender would have helped or made it more difficult, but I think it would have helped, for the closure aspect of it. I hope the genetic testing helps you and gives you some answers.

As for things that remind me of my mc, I’m currently packing to move and came across the maternity clothes I bought and had my husband hide after my D&C- I was around 10 weeks and there was a huge sale going on so I got some stuff since my pants were getting uncomfortable. I can’t wait to be able to wear them someday, but for now I’ve packed them under several layers of warm weather clothes, in the hopes that by the time the weather gets warm in April/May, I may be close to needing them. Ugh, this blows.

Post # 92
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
Kay1126:  I just hauled 2 bins of hand-me-down maternity clothes and a fetal doppler into the attic. I think the grieving has been a tad easier this time around. Not less intense, but I know that at some point I’ll get myself back. In the meantime, you just have to let it wash over you.

Post # 93
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
Kay1126:  I sometimes feel like I need something to honor my lost babies but I have the opposite of a green thumb, so planting something in their honor would most definitely lead to a dark and depressing outcome! 

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  I hope the genetic testing comes back with the best results for your closure on this one.  I’m glad to hear that though you’re grieving, you know there will be light again after these dark times.  I like the cute pic! 

And to both of you, I only ever reached the point where I had a belly band because the bloating was bad immediately, and I purchased some belly cream 2 days before my first loss.  Those are the only two items I’ve acquired that were pregnancy related, but I had to hide them too. I can’t even look at the belly cream without getting upset because it was delivered the night I started bleeding and saw my first lighter-lined FRER.  This is also why I probably won’t buy anything for my *hopeful* rainbow baby until after 16 weeks or so.  It hurts too much to see the products that were never needed.

Post # 94
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

GrannyPantiesRock:  I can relate. I read my first POAS posts, and I can’t believe how naive and happy I was. Totally clueless about the chances of mc and everything. I wonder if I will ever be be that excited again. Maybe the longer I wait to TTC the more excited I’ll end up being…who knows I guess. I also love your ring idea. I kinda thought about this, but I would have to have something that I wouldn’t need to explain. My residents ask me so many personal questions, it is unbelievable honestly. So I wouldn’t want my coworkers, residents, or family to persistently ask about a piece of jewelry or tattoo. I would have to spend a long time thinking about this. Plus, I’m in that weird stage of mind where I don’t want to have rememberence for my losses just yet. My EDD is approaching in January, and that is getting more and more difficult each day.

I have a shit ton of stuff piled into boxes in my office for when I thought I was 13w. I have maternity clothes, baby clothes, magazines, books, some pregnancy body stuff, doppler, and my ultrasounds. A student asked me what the boxes were for a couple weeks ago and I said clothes. Like wtf are you asking what’s in MY boxes. I can’t wait to leave this area so no one knows my mc history. No one knows about my cp except DH. Thankfully we never told anyone so we avoided that again. This makes me so sad thinking of all the things I have packed away πŸ™ I got DH some baby Broncos stuff for his bday since he is a huge fan. I got him onesies and bibs. They arrived the day after we found out about my mmc and two days before his birthday. That sucked. I’m glad I already have them all packed though. Hopefully sometime I will be able to bust them out of their prisons and use them for my rainbow.

Post # 95
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
Kay1126:  And thank you! I am very excited to move. It will be scary and new, so I think it will take my mind off a lot of stuff next year. When we move will fall right between both my EDD, so I hope to be preoccupied. Hope your weigh in went well! I will look for it this week on the WW board. I have finally posted my blog on the share your blog board. I figured I might as well since I have a handful of recipes on there haha.

Post # 96
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  I’m glad the grieving has been a bit easier for you, but I hate that you’re going through it again. I hope we all need our maternity stuff very soon. And thanks for the adorable cartoon, it gave me a much-needed laugh πŸ™‚

View original reply
Andthepupmakes3:  I totally understand that… fortunately my mom has a green thumb and lives 7 miles from where we’re moving, so she’ll have to help me! I’ve never had my own yard before, but I’m pretty good at keeping indoor plants alive so I have hope lol

View original reply
MrsNebraska:  Ugh don’t look for my weigh in, I’m not posting it! I stayed the same, which I’m so pissed about. I did so well this past week with both diet and exercise, and my clothes are getting looser. But I have a feeling the number on the scale staying the same is due to what I’m about to explain:

Little update on me: My cycles have been like clockwork since my D&C… 28 days and 27 days. But for the last week or so, I had been getting very strange and intense cramps on and off. Almost felt like gas, but in my uterus so that makes no sense. Anyway, I’m not currently TTC, but not exactly being very careful about avoiding… we’ve been using the “pull out” method. We both hate condoms, and didn’t want to go back on BC just until we TTC in January because I think I need to give my body a break! So, we went into this with the mentality that we won’t TTC, but won’t be too upset if a pregnancy happens. Anyway, I’m currently CD17 and woke up bleeding with cramps again. The doctor wanted to see me and is running bloodwork on my thyroid, checking for anemia, and doing hormone levels and a pregnancy test. I don’t see how a pregnancy is possible, especially since I just finished my period 11 days ago, but I guess being overly cautious is a good thing. I knew it was possible to have longer cycles after a D&C, but this random period with these awful cramps is weird to me. I’m also going for an ultrasound next week. Joy. I never had one after the D&C because I had a negative HPT a week after it. I was so optimistic about TTC again because my body seemed to be running like clockwork. While I wasn’t using OPK’s or anything else (I’m not a charter), I had my usual O pains each cycle and am sure everything was working correctly. So, this just sucks. Hopefully it’s nothing- just a random cycle.

Post # 97
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
MrsNebraska:  Just checkout out your blog- its amazing! I want to try them all! Great work πŸ™‚

Post # 98
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
Kay1126:  Oh wow what a roller coaster you just went on with your body! Hope you get some answers from the doctor. I also had regular cycles after my d&c. Not sure what my cycle will be like with the CP mixed in there. Currently I am CD 26. My app predicts AF on the 23rd, but if it was my regular cycle it would be the 20th. I’m just waiting for AF, again. Sucks! And thank you!!! I appreciate your kind comments on my blog πŸ™‚ I’ve been so happy and focused on it that it has really helped me. Kinda reignited a passion I’ve had that I wouldn’t be able to fully explore had I been pregnant now from the first time. But I really appreciate you looking at it!

 

AFM, I have an appointment to get back on BCP this Wednesday. I am slightly annoyed because the place where I get BCP is under the hospital I go to for my doctor/pregnancy stuff. So I had a pap 1 year ago from my BC place, which I just have to get one every 3 years. I had a pap done in June for my pregnancy. They have to do another pap on Wednesday to give me the BCP I was on in April. LAME. I hate being poked and prodded. I’ve been prodded too many times this year. Kinda ok with going on BCP though… It’s been hard to comprehend that I’m going back to that though. But at least I’ll have better skin lol.

Post # 99
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My rings arrived today. Sigh.

Post # 100
Member
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  They are beautiful! πŸ™‚ What a great idea. Maybe one day I’ll get one in remembrance as well. Always in your heart. <3

Post # 101
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  Those are so pretty! I don’t see anyone asking any personal questions either. They are very subtle but beautiful. 

Post # 103
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
MrsNebraska:  That’s really douchey of them to make you repeat a PAP “just because.” That’s a total money grab. I hate the healthcare system sometimes.

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  
View original reply
MrsFairyBee:  
View original reply
Turtle83:  Thanks ladies.

Post # 104
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  Those are beautiful and as was previously said, I don’t think they’ll invite a lot of questions. Great choice!

Post # 105
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
GrannyPantiesRock:  That’s basically my thoughts. I had to sign a realse of information so they could get my records from my dr. Why cant they just get my pap info too? I could also understand if I’d ever had an abnormal one, but the 4 I’ve had have all been normal. So stupid. But we have decided to move so being pregnant just isnt a good idea now. And given how fertile we seem to be, better not take chances. Yay pokeage this afternoon!

The topic ‘Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 6’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors