(Closed) Journey of TTC After Miscarriage Part 7

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 511
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hi ladies, hope you don’t mind me joining. I was a part of this thread back in 2013 after my first MMC at 12 weeks. It was an awesome source of support, I’m sad to be back but know it’s good to have fellow bee’s like you ladies to talk to!

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): CP cycle, hoping it can also be a TTC cycle will know more later.

MC History: In April 2013 I got pregnant on our first try. Everything was perfect at my 8 week appt. We were over the moon. I ended up having a MMC at 9 weeks, didn’t find out until they counldn’t find the HB at my 12 week appointment. I had a D&C a week later. We were heartbroken. I had never felt so low in my life. The first cycle after the D&C I got pregnant again with Dear Daughter, who is now 16 months old! We we’re thrilled and thought our miscarriage history was just that, history. Fast forward to June 2015, we started trying for baby #2. I got pregnant and it ended in CP only a few days after my positive test. Got the green light from my Dr. to try again the next cycle, got pregnant again in July and am currently going thru another CP. This one ending at 5w6d. I sobbed when I found out about the second CP. I just feel so defeated.

Issues (if any): Not sure yet. My OB is seriously the greatest. He saw my beta results while he was on vacation in Mexico and called me from his personal cell phone to tell me we are going to figure it out together. I cried for everything, losing the baby and just knowing he is such a good doctor. Darling Husband loves him too. I am going next week for RPL testing. Not sure all of the exact tests, but I’m super anxious. I know my body can have a baby (bc of DD) just not sure why I can’t stay pregnant now. Dear Daughter felt like a miracle before but now I know there is NO way she isn’t one.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): I have a history of low progesterone in early pregnancy, so we will see what happens with that. I have an appt on Aug. 26th where I’m sure we will go over the game plan for next time. Guessing my next BFP will be monitored even more closely than my last 2.

Link to chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/439770

What are your biggest challenges right now? Dealing with the emotional drain of losing a second pregnancy in a row. Wanting some answers about why this keeps happening to me. Just feeling really down in general. I want to continue our family so badly.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: Honestly not a whole lot besdies distracting myself with Dear Daughter, trying to get out of the house and do something fun each day. I know God’s timing is perfect, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when you suffer a great loss. I’ve seen a lot of good quotes recently. One that just popped up on my IG feed when I needed it was “The moment you’re ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens. Don’t give up” Ugh just so fitting.

 

 

Post # 512
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

lalalalauren:  so sorry you’ve had to endure multiple losses. I hope the doctor can find some answers for you and that you’re next bean is a sticky keeper. Hugs!!

My SIL posted this pic on fb and I thought I’d share it here since so many of us can relate:

Post # 513
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Kabatchy2be:  That’s a wonderful thought to keep in kind πŸ™‚

lalalalauren:  I’m sorry that you have found yourself back here. πŸ™ this really is a wonderfully supportive thread. I agree with you that Gods timing is perfect (I was just telling myself that today), but it does hurt and it’s okay to be mad at God and the world. 

Post # 514
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

lalalalauren:  So sorry for your losses. I have also had early recurrent miscarriage, 3 so far this year with no living children. I have just completed all my rpl testing which all came back perfect and shows we are both healthy and fertile. A little lost about our next step and terrified to try again πŸ™

Tomorrow is my laproscopy and hysterscopy and they are also doing another hsg test while i’m under the general anesthetic.  I’m feeling pretty nervous as I hate surgery and have to be there all day by myself as my husband is not allowed to be with me at all Until they call him to pick me up. I just keep focusing on the fact that it’s the last tests and at least I can then say i’ve looked at everything to give myself the best chance of my next pregnancy sticking!

 

Post # 516
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Kabatchy2be:  FreckledFox:  Thanks ladies. Love that quote and yes it’s so hard but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end! 

bubbycakes:  I’m so sorry for your losses and not getting any answers yet. That must be so hard and frustrating. Wishing you the best of luck on your surgery tomorrow and you can finally get some peace and answers! I’ll be praying for you!!

Post # 517
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

bubbycakes:  fingers crossed everything went smoothly today and this was the last hurdle you had to jump through!

MiJeS1104:  ugh lady I’m so sorry. I know the frustration of cysts getting in the way of moving forward. Hope the trigger shrinks it right up and these two weeks fly by. If you don’t mind me asking, how much does it cost for u to get the trigger? For me it’s $45 and even though it’s not much in the grand scheme of things it’s annoying in addition to everythinggg else to have to keep repurchasing. 

AFM, went to the RE this morning and as my dad would say, the coin landed on its side. I have 2 follies measuring 21 and 22mm and was told to trigger tonight and come in for IUI tues morning. Yay! The nurse sat down to go through some paperwork with us and realized they didn’t have documention regarding DHs blood work for HIV Hep C, etc. Boo. Apparently the nurse we talked to 2 weeks ago didn’t bother to see if he had done that so now we’ll most likely miss out on doing IUI bc they won’t have the results in time and can’t proceed without them. Darling Husband donates blood regularly so we know it’ll be fine- we even asked if we could sign a waiver “risking it” without the results so to say but nope, now allowed. So beyond frustrated. For once my body is cooperating and bc the nurse F’d up, we lose out. I suppose the silver lining is we can still trigger and do timed intercourse, which worked for us 2 cycles ago. Hoping extra hard that we get lucky bc we’ll be on vacation if AF comes and unable to do a medicated cycle next round if there is a next round. Trying to think positively!!

Post # 518
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

lalalalauren:  Welcome and I’m so sorry for your loss *big hugs*. I’m sorry that you have to join us here but we are a supportive bunch. I hope you are able to find some answers at your appointment; at least you know you’re body can do what’s needed to have children because you have a Dear Daughter. I love your quote by the way, it’s very inspiring to me.

Kabatchy2be:  Your quote is absolutely true. Sometimes we think we are the only one struggling with something and that’s just not the case at all, this board is proof of that. Sorry about the fiasco with your IUI. At least you still have a chance to conceive naturally so all is not lost. Fingers crossed for you.

MiJeS1104:  Sorry about the cyst and sorry about all you’ve had to endure to get to where you are now. I’m really hoping that once this is taken care of you won’t have to wait for anything else.

bubbycakes:  Good luck tomorrow with your surgery.

Post # 520
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I FINALLY got a +OPK at CD17 (latest one ever) so we’ll see what happens this cycle.

Post # 521
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

leahdany:  MiJeS1104:  thanks guys! 

leahdany:  yay for positive opk, get to it!! 

Too Much Information alert, Darling Husband and I BD’d last night with preseed and I got on top. When we were finished and I moved off of him, a glob of the goods got loose. But the force of it coming out gets where it had to go and everything else would’ve come out anyway, right?! RIGHT?? haha oh well. There’s always tonight. #ttcprobs

Post # 522
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

leahdany:  Kabatchy2be:  lalalalauren:  thanks for your wishes πŸ™‚

Surgery is complete, unfortunately I didn’t see my FS after the surgery so no idea how it went. Our follow up appointment is in two weeks. I’m in a lot of pain and been quite nauseous and sick but just so glad it’s done. They’ve now done every test possible so it’s out of our hands. 

On a happy note my husband and I just booked a trip to Singapore next month. We’ve never been before  so  we are excited to just get away and relax for a bit! 

leahdany:  yay for pos opk. Good luck!

Kabatchy2be:  bugger about the mix-up but fingers crossed you get some success following your trigger!

Post # 523
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

bubbycakes:  Glad that surgery is done! Hope it went well. It’s reassuring to know that you did everything you possibly could. Yay for Singapore! 

Kabatchy2be:  Haha when first TTC I was afraid to be on top, but then I realized that girl on top is not a form of birth control πŸ˜‰ FX you get the strongest swimmers up in there!! I’m sorry about the nurse mix up. πŸ™ Idiots. This world is full of ’em.

leahdany:  Yay for pos opk!!! 

MiJeS1104:  I saw your post on charters but responding here, I’m glad today is better. I’m so mad for you. I just want you to catch a darn break soon! All of us!

AFM, I feel like I’ve had a lot of bad days lately. I’m just overwhelmed by everything. I’m glad that my therapist appointment is Tuesday because maybe she can help me calm my brains. We went to a very large flea market yesterday. Everywhere I looked were babies, strollers and moms. This would have been the fleamarket we would have gone to the shop for Grady’s room before birth. I saw so many things I would’ve loved to buy for him, but I know that I just need to let go of that. It’s hard because usually the comfort while still TTC was “someday” but now my someday haunts me so it’s tough. I’m just trying to surround myself with many success stories. Sorry that most of my comments are pity parties. I’m sure my husband’s getting sick of them.

Hey!! We should probably start a new thread soon! We are at 35 pages.

Post # 524
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Kabatchy2be:  ugh that’s so frustrating that she screwed that up!! Praying good old BD can get the job done in addition to your trigger! GL FX!!!!

leahdany:  Thank you for the warm welcome and good wishes. And yay for a positive OPK! Get your BD on! 

Kabatchy2be:  hahah don’t worry about extra stuff coming out, i’m sure a ton of swimmers got to where they need to go! Don’t stress about it! FWIW I always have tons of extra “goods” LOL come out afterwards and have gotten pregnant 4 times, so hope that eases your fears a little!

bubbycakes:  So glad it’s over and hoping everything went perfectly! That’s awesome! One of my friends just went to Singapore and her photos looked amazing!! So jealous!

FreckledFox:  You are allowed as many bad days as you need. You have been through hell and back and being overwhelmed is totally normal. You thought your life would be one way and it turned out totally different. Not only is it completely heartbreaking but you have to adjust to your new normal. Hopefully in time it will begin to feel normal. I’m still praying for you, Grady will always be your first child and will hold a special place in your heart. When you are ready to conceive again I wish you the easiest pregnancy ever. Don’t feel bad taking all the time in the world you need to heal. I hope you and Darling Husband can find strength in each other right now. Tons of hugs!

Post # 525
Member
1591 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Kabatchy2be:  That happened to me too this cycle! It was kind of a critical day to BD (O-1) so I’m hoping at least ONE made it’s intended destination! πŸ˜‰ 

Sounds like a lot of us are having a hard time πŸ™ big hugs to all of you!

AFM, I’m at 7 DPO with AF due on Saturday. We’re leaving for the mountains on Wednesday and I’m trying not to test until AF is late, so our trip should be a good distraction. Some family members are joining us on Saturday though, so I might actually HAVE to test to see if I can have a cocktail or not! Decisions, decisions…. I must say, though, I’m not “feelin’ it.” I didn’t really have any symptoms with my last BFP so I’m not totally down… just wish I could have some sign!

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