(Closed) Journey of TTC After Miscarriage – Part 8

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 661
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1836 posts
Buzzing bee

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BeverlyGeese:  I am soo sorry you are still in limbo – that is the worst state to be in. When I had my CP at 5 weeks (I guess it is still called a CP, even though I hate that word)- I first started spotting. I remember I had betas done at around 17dpo and it was 98 (which nurse said was a tiny bit low, but still withing normal ranges). I had to wait 3 days to re-do the beta as it was 4th of July weekend. Few days later I started spotting but still had hope as it was not full on AF. When I re-did the betas (while spotting)  it was at 28. Few days later, full AF came. So I assure my betas were around 5-10 when full AF came. It was a very heavy and long AF, around 8 days, followed by another 3-4 days of spotting. So all in all, I was spotting/full Af/spotting for like 15 days total.

I totally understand how scary/hard it is to start treatments over. When I had my CP, my first words were “I can’t believe we have to start all over again from 0.” But unfortunatly, we don’t really have much of a choice. No matter how hard/dissapointing the treatments are, that is our only hope to get that sticky bean. No treatments means no hope at all. And as devastating as it is, the fact that you did get BFP following IUI is a great future fertility potential sign (at least that is what my doc said following a loss). It means that you and DH CAN get pregnant, it is just the matter of time before getting a sticky one. Hang in there!

Post # 663
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600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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HaaaveYouMetTed:  How have you not tested again?! I thought about you yesterday and wondered had you tested. Even if you’re not pregnant it’s great that the progesterone is holding your AF off – at least you know it’s working. Hopefully your O will cooperate with your DH’s schedule and either come early before he leaves or late when he gets back.

We’ll have to try to coordinate a trip next year. It would be a blast!!

Post # 665
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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OliveFinn:  
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lalalalauren:  
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leahdany:  
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txlolo:  
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solnishko1186:  
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HaaaveYouMetTed:  Thank you all so much for your insight and help. I know it probably isn’t the best feeling to stir up the old emotions that came with your losses, but it has really helped me. Like I said, with my CP it was sudden, quick and heavy…so it is nice to know that the long period of spotting seems normal and it’s likely just taking longer for my levels to drop (which is bullshit)! I’ve been feeling a little bit better today, but I know it is going to be a long process. I am going to go to an infertility support group on Monday (for the first time ever) and have also asked about the counselor they recommend at my RE’s office. I have also decided that with Oct 15th being pregnancy/infant loss awareness day, I am going to buy 2 candles that we light on that night every year. I think it will be a nice way to honor and remember our losses. I found out that there is a nighttime event with luminaries and a balloon release, but I’m not sure I am ready to join that yet. Things are still a bit too raw. Xoxo, again, thank you so much for accepting me to this lovely group, while I’m sad that all of us are here, it is a very nice support system.

Post # 666
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1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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BeverlyGeese:  wow that’s so great about going to the support group. I would love to participate in a night time balloon release that sounds so special (but emotional, I’m crying just thinking about it). I’ll have to find out if there in one in my area. How did you find out about it? It’s still hard even months and years later thinking about the babies I lost. But I look at my DD and can’t even begin to comprehend what a special perfect miracle she is. Sounds so cheesy but I KNOW that you will have the same feeling someday. And hope that day comes very very soon. Sending you all my love!!!

Post # 667
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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BeverlyGeese:  Glad you are doing better today. Thanks for the info on the pregnancy/infant loss awareness day. I didn’t know such a day existed. I looked at the activities for that around here but the closest one is an hour and 40 minutes away and starts within work hours so I won’t be able to make it this year.

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lalalalauren:  I found activities/events for pregnancy/infant loss awareness day at 

http://www.october15th.com/activities-walks/

 

Post # 668
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2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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leahdany:  I knew that October was pregnancy/infant loss awareness month, and I just this week found out about Oct 15. I’m sure you also read about lighting candles at 7pm no matter the time zone, to create the “wave of light” in remembrance for those we have lost. I think I’m going to start with that, this year 🙂 

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lalalalauren:  Hugs, friend. I know that there is probably such emotion knowing how lucky you are to have DD, and probably don’t take a second with her for granted. I do believe that is a special gift we are given after facing a loss, and I can’t wait to experience that! For the balloon release, I actually just googled pregnancy loss support groups in KC where we live and found it immediately! I think you are in Chicago, yes? I bet there are a ton of events you could look into!

Post # 669
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hi ladies, question for you. My d&c was 6 weeks ago exactly and I’ve had a lot of bleeding since but I have no idea what is my period and what isn’t. We haven’t had a lot of sex since not we haven’t been careful. On my way home from work I felt naseous which was weird, and someone gave me an hpt that she no longer needed so I took it jus for fun and it was clearly positive. Could this be left over hormones? I’m still seeing a bit of bleeding even today. DH and I really doubt  pregnant but I would have thought Id see negatives by now. Wtf?

Post # 670
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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spoonslicious2:  I’ve had pregnancy tests darken and stay positive for 2 weeks after a CP so I’m going to say anything can happen. 6 weeks is a long time in between though so maybe it is a new pregnancy. Are you going to the doctor to find out what’s going on?

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BeverlyGeese:  A wave of light sounds like a beautiful idea. My print from Scarlet & Gold arrived today. I’m waiting for DH to get home and ask what it is so we can open it together.

Post # 671
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196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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leahdany:  Im going to call the nurse tomorrow. Now thanks to Google im worried that the D&C wasnt successful and that there’s still tissue in there. Ugh. 

Post # 672
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Ok, coming back out of the freak out phase. It is apparently normal to have HCG in your system 6 weeks after.  Should be going to zero soon, then maybe i’ll have something that resembles my actual period.  So ready to be able to temp again and know what CD1 is.  This whole process is so frustrating as you all well know.  It sucks not knowing whats going on with your body.

Post # 673
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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spoonslicious2:  I’m not sure how much help I will be since Im sort of going through my first mc without being blindsided at 4 weeks – but today my nurse said it could take up to a month for my levels to get back to zero. (Which sucks, if I didn’t have 4 betas I would have probably just thought I was still pregnant until an ultrasound would confirm mmc). I’ve been heavily spotting for a week now. No bleeding like af. Sounds kind of similar to your experience and just wanted to let you know that while I hope it is a true positive/rainbow for you, it’s possible to still be leftover Hcg. Which is total bullshit. Big hugs 🙂

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leahdany:  I’m so jealous! My necklace hasn’t arrived yet. I am not near one of their retailers, so maybe that is why? I would love to see a pic of it in person, I’m still debating on one!

Post # 674
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Well, after getting squinters a few days ago it looks like I’ve had a CP. My tests have been getting progressively lighter since Sunday and today I got a “not pregnant” on a digital and what’s probably the start of AF. I’ve been to the doctor and she took bloods just in case and to rule out an ectopic. 🙁

I’m trying to look on the bright side as the timing wouldn’t have been great if we’d conceived successfully this month. I’m doing postgraduate study and should be finished at the start of June next year, so a due date of June 17th would have been cutting it really fine. Anyway, onwards and upwards! I’m so glad I know I’ve got this community to come back to, although I never really left this time.

Also, would you count a CP as a miscarriage, even if the whole thing came and went before AF was due? Would your doctor count it? Mine referred to it as an “early loss”. It was obviously a very different experience to my MMC at 9 weeks so I’m really not sure how I feel about it all and whether to say in future that I’ve had one or two miscarriages.  

 

 

Post # 675
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82 posts
Worker bee

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autumnvee:  So sorry to hear that!  As for whether to count a CP as a miscarriage, I think that’s entirely up to you and how you feel.  My miscarriages have been later, so I don’t have personal experience, but I feel like a loss is a loss no matter how early, and if you want to say you’ve had two miscarriages you can – because you have.

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