(Closed) Domestic violence -Judge orders man to take his wife on a bowling date

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Haha that’s a good one. I like judges with a sense of humor.

Post # 4
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sorry I don’t find it funny at all. How does he know there isn’t a history of violence? I am sorry if this was a bee who came on here and said her husband pushed her and grabbed her neck; we would all be upset and tell her to leave. Wait, there was a thread like that not too long ago! Way to make a joke of DV judge; hope they don’t appear in his court again.

Post # 5
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@redheadem:  That is TERRIBLE.  The wife needs for her husband to get counseling – not to be told by a judge that if her husband treats her nice on occasion, the problem is solved.

I disagree with this sentence, 110%.

Post # 6
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hmm, I’m not personally a fan, because shoving your wife against the couch and grabbing her throat ≠ ‘minor’ DV in my opinion. This judge better hope that things don’t escalate for this couple :-/

Post # 7
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

O_O Disgusting. Shoving a woman against a couch and grabbing her neck is a minor offense? UGHHHH.

Post # 8
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Hmmmmmmm sounds like the judge felt the incident was minor based on history, and even says he doesn’t normally treat cases like this so ‘lightly’……and it sounds like it started because he didn’t wish her a Happy Birthday – in my mind this isn’t some beaten woman cowering in the corner. My guess is they were both going at each other and she blew her lid and pressed charges.

Obviously that is all just guesswork….but none of us really know what happened – were there bruises, did she testify that she was afraid of him? We don’t know, so in this case, I’m going with the judge, because he has all the facts (well, more facts), and we don’t.

Post # 9
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

This rubs me the wrong way. It’s like the judge is saying “It’s okay, just take her out for a nice night and all is forgiven.” Like taking a woman out for a nice night is any sort of punishment for physical violence.

Post # 9
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@hisgoosiegirl:  Ok what would you do if your husband, with no history, did this to you? We dont  have all the facts either when bees discuss their DV but no one takes it lightly then. She may not have had bruises, maybe she didn’t want to say anything to get her husband in trouble. The judge could have given a different discipline if he felt this was minor instead of making it into a joke.

Post # 10
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

To be fair to the judge, he also ordered that they go to marriage counseling.  This is a pretty light hearted sentence for such a serious thing though.

Post # 11
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@hisgoosiegirl:  You’re right, none of us know what happened. But what’s worse:

A) A man has a one-time offense where he pushes his wife and grabs her neck. He goes through the court system and loses some money and time. He finishes up with the likely very minor repercussions and goes back to his wife. Happily ever afer.

B) A man pushes his wife and grabs her neck. She is afraid of him, so she calls it a ‘minor incidence.’ Plus it’s never happened before, so she doesn’t want him punished. The judge sentences him to take her to dinner. Husband gets the message that his DV is a joke and eventually escalates further, becoming highly violent and abusing her for years.

I’m sorry, but any man who does this–no matter how ‘minor’– should be sent a message that its WRONG.

Post # 12
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I saw this too and was wondering if someone would post it. I thought the headline was funny and was interested to hear what his “offense” was. Then I read it. Shoving her down on the couch and grabbing her by the neck? I don’t care how heated our argument gets, my husband would never put his hands on me like that, and I think a husband who would needs more than a “bowling date” sentence. Sure, she may have been a total bitch, but there’s absolutely no excuse for shoving someone and grabbing them by the neck. And way to send a great message, judge! Report your abusive husband to the police and you could win a dinner at Red Lobster! **with the guy who shoved you down and grabbed your neck** Have fun! You crazy lovebirds!

Post # 13
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@MissGreen:  It would depend -is it a fight where I am hitting him too? Did I actually feel scared or was I just angry at him and decide that I could really get him in trouble?

Because that’s what I feel like (from the little I’ve read) was going on here. They get into an altercation and she got so angry and decided she was really going to get him in trouble.

He is also making them go see a marriage counselor which sounds like a great idea, and hopefully it helps them work out their issues. 

Post # 14
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is really disturbing to me.  I think demanding that they go to couples counseling is appropriate, but the nice dinner seems like it’s making light of the DV incident.  “Just take the little lady out to dinner and all will be forgiven.”  Not cool.

The story doesn’t provide very many details so I’m not entirely clear on what exactly happened – but the way the story is written and the “sentence” that was handed down rubs me the wrong way.

Post # 15
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@MsMonkey:  if that gets stuck on his record and he does any amount of time, he’ll lose his job and be practically un-hireable in this economy.  That is not harmless.

I don’t take domestic violence lightly at all, I simply think this is a case of two people letting their tempers get th better of them.

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