Post # 1
I’m super pissed off after seeing a midwife at my back-up doctor’s office today. (In order to have a home birth you have to have an OB-GYN with you as a patient in case you have any complications.)
I’ve been sicker in my 2nd trimester than in my 1st, and I throw up between 3 and 6 times a day. It’s been getting me really depressed and interfering with my work/life so my homebirth midwife (CPM) said to call the doctor to have them rule out any underlying causes. I called on Thursday and they said they wanted to see me right away but couldn’t because of the holiday weekend so they scheduled me for this morning. I went from thinking vomitting this far along was uncommon but normal to thinking something serious could be wrong. I was so nervous between Thursday and today because of their urgency in seeing me and couldn’t sleep at all last night.
We get there this morning and the midwife came in and asked me how the vomitting has been. I told her how often I was getting sick and how it was effecting my life. She smiled at me like she had just ingested many many drugs and didn’t say anything. She then asked if we were still considering a home birth and we said yes. Then she said “ok, you opted out of the alpha-feto protein screen (sp?)? Do you want to do it today? It will test for neural tube defects like spina-bifida” DH’s head whipped around and we were both like “the vomitting means the baby could have spina-bifida???” and she’s says no. (So why ask that question in response to me telling you my symptoms?) Then she had me lay down and listened to the heartbeat, and yanked on my arm to tell me she wanted me to sit back up instead of just telling me to sit back up. She asked if we had any other questions and we were both pretty confused, so I said “So the nausea is just…” and she smiled again and shrugged and told us to schedule our next appointment for our ultrasound at the desk. She left and we were so confused that Darling Husband went to find her and asked if there was anything going on that we should be worried about and she again, smiled reeeeal big. Then he said “ok, well why is she still sick?” and the midwife shrugged and said “hormones.” and that was the end of the appointment. We scheduled our ultrasound appointment but once we got in the car we decided we didn’t want to go back there. All that worry for nothing (I think?) and we really didn’t get any answers. I still don’t know why it was urgent that they see me or what they were ruling out. I felt like she just didn’t agree with our decision to have a homebirth or something, considering the only thing she was willing to talk to us about was our decision to home birth and to not do any screenings. We were only thinking about doing a 20 week ultrasound to find out the baby’s gender, and now I really don’t feel right going back for another appointment and more pointless worry. Ugh. End rant.
Post # 3
From my research it seems as though midwives are usually pro home births. It sounds like this particular midwife just isn’t a good fit for you guys. You definitely want to be 100% in love with your OB or midwife, especially for an unmedicated birth!
Post # 4
My mom threw up during her entire pregnancy, and I know a few other people who had 2nd or 3rd trimester morning sickness I didnt think it was big issue. I agree that maybe you could switch to a midwife thats more in tune with what you want
Post # 5
She’s not my midwife, I have a home birth midwife who is a CPM, this was a midwife at the doctor’s office I use as a back up for problems related visits. There are 7 midwives there and if for some reason I were to have to go to the hospital during my labor I would have whichever one is on call, and my home birth midwife would basically become my doula. I’ve just never been so “blown off” by a medical professional, especially in a situation where their office told me they needed to see me ASAP.
Post # 6
Can you call their office and schedule a new appointment with a different midwife at the doctor’s office. It sounds like you should be seen by someone who will actually have the courtesy to answer your questions. FWIW, I’m just starting my 3rd trimester, and I’ve been sick the entire time. I’m taking zofran, and I only throw up if I try to go too long between doses. But everything else about my pregnancy has been completely normal.
Post # 7
I am a labor and delivery nurse and I think your nausea and vomiting sounds hormone related, and most likely not something to be alarmed about. The biggest concern would be if you cannot keep anything down for an extended period of time and they need to check electrolyte levels or provide you with alternate means of nutrition.
Definitely do not skip your 20 week ultrasound. As much as it is known for finding out the sex of the baby, there is also a lot more that is checked at that time including the baby’s growth.
I understand your frustration with this visit, I wouldn’t give up completely on this OB group, but schedule your next appt with a different midwife.
Post # 8
While I’ve never been pregnant, I don’t really see the problem here – you looking for an explanation on your vomiting…you’re pregnant! There are women out there who have nausea the entire pregnancy, from what I’ve seen with friends and relatives during their pregnancies it is not all that unusual. It is odd that the office said they needed to see you ASAP, but it is quite possible that the midwife just didn’t know how to explain to you that were vomiting because you’re pregnant without sounding like she was being condescending – I’m assuming there’s not really much they can do for that, you can’t really take medication for it when you’re pregnant, right? And then the things she did talk to you about – the home birth and opting out of screenings – you were annoyed. But that is part of her job, making sure people know about their options, risks, etc. What could she of done other than the heartbeat check and talking to you if you don’t want any screenings?
Maybe some of my questions have answers that are obvious to pregnant women, sorry if that’s the case. But I really see nothing here where she is criticizing you for having a home birth.
Post # 9
Do some research and see if you have a local OBGYN that also has midwifes on board. (Midwifes that deliver in the hospital). OR find the OBGYN with the lowest c-section rate. This will most likely lead you to an office that is much more open about natural deliveries and home births. I’d definitely not want to go back to an office that treated me like that… but it is important to find a back up that you like!! Cause think… on the rare case something DOES go wrong and you end up in the hosipital it’ll probably be a scary situation and you’ll want a doc with lots of compassion and NOT THIS BITCH THAT’S LIKE ‘told you so’.
My office has 2 docs and 2 midwifes. At my first appt with one of the docs our conversation got off topic about a local (45 min) away music festival that is right around my due date and whether we should buy tickets. It’s a VERY HIPPIE festival in a VERY HIPPIE town and I joked that I’m sure if needed I could find a midwife out there. Her response was ” Hey, As fast as your first birth was you’re a prime canidate for a home birth”. It’s really nice to be in a practice that’s so open to that.. even if because of my husband’s fears we are planning to deliver in a hospital!
Post # 10
Wow, it sounds like you did not have a very good appointment. Do you have a follow-up with your regular midwife? It seems like you left with a lot of unanswered questions about your nausea and vomiting, and hopefully your midwife can answer some of those questions or at least direct you to someone who can.
Also, as someone who has had a lot of nausea and vomiting in pregnancy, it’s not normal to throw up that much, but it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. However, if it’s affecting your daily life, you should ask your midwife for a prescription. The main concern is usually dehydration or extended periods of severe vomiting, but if you are sick enough to not be functioning in day to day life, you’re sick enough to be on medicine.
Post # 11
@Wonderstruck: I thought the same thing. I didn’t feel there was any judgment on the decision for a homebirth based on what the OP posted.
Post # 12
@Wonderstruck: Thank you, I’m well aware that I am vomitting because I am pregnant. I called because I was told to, I had no questions. I was told I had to come in ASAP to rule out any underlying causes/check for nutritional imbalances etc because excessive nausea in the 2nd trimester can be a problem. I am not confused about why I’m throwing up, I’m confused why an appointment was made, I was told to check in over the weekend etc. then I meet with the midwife who wouldn’t even acknowledge my symptoms. No matter what area of medicine you’re talking about, that is bad practice. No, she does not need to go over my decision not to be screened as a response to me explaining my nausea, she can ask that later after explaining why I’m there in the first place. She does not need to ask me if I’m sure I want a home birth – ever.
I appreciate everyone’s experience of nausea throughout the whole pregnancy. I knew this was a possibility and wasn’t alarmed at all until I heard “we need to see you ASAP”, then of course the panic sets in. I may just have to get another backup office, which is a shame because this place is the closest to our house, but now I’m so worried I may cross paths with this woman again…
@babycrz: I love it, going into labor at a hippie fest… “Is there a midwife in the house???”
Post # 13
@Moja Milosc: No need for the sarcastic thanks, I wasn’t trying to be snotty, I just wasn’t understanding why you were offended. To be honest I still don’t…I’d be upset with the office for making me think something was an emergency when it wasn’t, but I’m totally confused on why it’s so offensive that the midwife went over your choices on screenings and the home birth, that seems like it would be a completely normal part of an appointment when you’re pregnant. As for the vomiting, if you’re well aware of the reason why and didn’t have any questions, why is nearly the entire OP about how you’re upset she didn’t discuss why you’re vomiting? I realize that was the reason for the appointment, but again, I’d be annoyed with the person who made it for making you think something normal was an emergency, not with the mdwife. Yes, she could have handled it a bit better but to want to never go back there so you don’t ever see her again seems extreme.
Post # 14
@Wonderstruck: I think I’m done explaining my OP to you. If you don’t mind going in for “urgent” appointments for no reason and don’t think the person who sees you has any obligation to reassure you, or even touch on the subject of why you’re there in the first place than that’s your right because it’s your care. I chose not to be treated by people who work that way. I am a nurse myself and I know patients need to be told what’s going on and what you’re doing each step of the way. I chose not to be cared for in that way, and it’s my decision to find a different back up.
Post # 15
@Moja Milosc: Here’s my advice 🙂
1. Get a new midwife.
2. Talk to the new obgyn about Zofran.
3. Your symptoms sound more like hyperemesis gravidarum http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperemesis_gravidarum to me than just regular pregnancy sickness…
I agree with most of what @girlygirl885: said- do the 20week… it could be twins! If you had a totally by the book pregnancy I would say do whatever you want, but while your super sickness isn’t uncommon or abnormal… it’s not exactly what a midwife would want to see going on at this point- you’re probably not getting the nutrients or water you really need which isn’t ideal.
To help with the nausea, try getting little bits of protein in? Like a cheese stick, or some nuts, peanut butter… check to see if your prenatal vitamins have iron in them- that can make some mamas sick, try B-vitamins, get some sun! Try an herbal pregnancy tea with nettles in it… make SURE you do not get dehydrated. That is extremely important.
Post # 16
I’m sorry your appointment left you with such negative feelings, it must be nerve wracking to get so worried about something and then have it completely glossed over. That said, I don’t really get the sense from your OP that the MW was at all judging your homebirth decision.