(Closed) Judgement for homebirthing?

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

From my research it seems as though midwives are usually pro home births. It sounds like this particular midwife just isn’t a good fit for you guys. You definitely want to be 100% in love with your OB or midwife, especially for an unmedicated birth!

Post # 4
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My mom threw up during her entire pregnancy, and I know a few other people who had 2nd or 3rd trimester morning sickness I didnt think it was big issue. I  agree that maybe you could switch to a midwife thats more in tune with what you want

Post # 6
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Can you call their office and schedule a new appointment with a different midwife at the doctor’s office.  It sounds like you should be seen by someone who will actually have the courtesy to answer your questions.  FWIW, I’m just starting my 3rd trimester, and I’ve been sick the entire time.  I’m taking zofran, and I only throw up if I try to go too long between doses.  But everything else about my pregnancy has been completely normal.

Post # 7
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I am a labor and delivery nurse and I think your nausea and vomiting sounds hormone related, and most likely not something to be alarmed about.  The biggest concern would be if you cannot keep anything down for an extended period of time and they need to check electrolyte levels or provide you with alternate means of nutrition. 

Definitely do not skip your 20 week ultrasound.  As much as it is known for finding out the sex of the baby, there is also a lot more that is checked at that time including the baby’s growth.

I understand your frustration with this visit, I wouldn’t give up completely on this OB group, but schedule your next appt with a different midwife.

Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

While I’ve never been pregnant, I don’t really see the problem here – you looking for an explanation on your vomiting…you’re pregnant! There are women out there who have nausea the entire pregnancy, from what I’ve seen with friends and relatives during their pregnancies it is not all that unusual. It is odd that the office said they needed to see you ASAP, but it is quite possible that the midwife just didn’t know how to explain to you that were vomiting because you’re pregnant without sounding like she was being condescending – I’m assuming there’s not really much they can do for that, you can’t really take medication for it when you’re pregnant, right? And then the things she did talk to you about – the home birth and opting out of screenings – you were annoyed. But that is part of her job, making sure people know about their options, risks, etc. What could she of done other than the heartbeat check and talking to you if you don’t want any screenings?

Maybe some of my questions have answers that are obvious to pregnant women, sorry if that’s the case. But I really see nothing here where she is criticizing you for having a home birth.

Post # 9
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2007

Do some research and see if you have a local OBGYN that also has midwifes on board. (Midwifes that deliver in the hospital). OR find the OBGYN with the lowest c-section rate. This will most likely lead you to an office that is much more open about natural deliveries and home births. I’d definitely not want to go back to an office that treated me like that… but it is important to find a back up that you like!!  Cause think… on the rare case something DOES go wrong and you end up in the hosipital it’ll probably be a scary situation and you’ll want a doc with lots of compassion and NOT THIS BITCH THAT’S LIKE ‘told you so’.

My office has 2 docs and 2 midwifes. At my first appt with one of the docs our conversation got off topic about a local (45 min) away music festival that is right around my due date and whether we should buy tickets. It’s a VERY HIPPIE festival in a VERY HIPPIE town and I joked that I’m sure if needed I could find a midwife out there. Her response was ” Hey, As fast as your first birth was you’re a prime canidate for a home birth”. It’s really nice to be in a practice that’s so open to that.. even if because of my husband’s fears we are planning to deliver in a hospital!

Post # 10
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Wow, it sounds like you did not have a very good appointment.  Do you have a follow-up with your regular midwife?  It seems like you left with a lot of unanswered questions about your nausea and vomiting, and hopefully your midwife can answer some of those questions or at least direct you to someone who can.

Also, as someone who has had a lot of nausea and vomiting in pregnancy, it’s not normal to throw up that much, but it doesn’t mean anything is wrong.  However, if it’s affecting your daily life, you should ask your midwife for a prescription.  The main concern is usually dehydration or extended periods of severe vomiting, but if you are sick enough to not be functioning in day to day life, you’re sick enough to be on medicine.

Post # 11
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Wonderstruck: I thought the same thing.  I didn’t feel there was any judgment on the decision for a homebirth based on what the OP posted.

Post # 13
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Moja Milosc: No need for the sarcastic thanks, I wasn’t trying to be snotty, I just wasn’t understanding why you were offended. To be honest I still don’t…I’d be upset with the office for making me think something was an emergency when it wasn’t, but I’m totally confused on why it’s so offensive that the midwife went over your choices on screenings and the home birth, that seems like it would be a completely normal part of an appointment when you’re pregnant. As for the vomiting, if you’re well aware of the reason why and didn’t have any questions, why is nearly the entire OP about how you’re upset she didn’t discuss why you’re vomiting? I realize that was the reason for the appointment, but again, I’d be annoyed with the person who made it for making you think something normal was an emergency, not with the mdwife. Yes, she could have handled it a bit better but to want to never go back there so you don’t ever see her again seems extreme.

Post # 15
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Moja Milosc: Here’s my advice 🙂 

1. Get a new midwife.

2. Talk to the new obgyn about Zofran. 

3. Your symptoms sound more like hyperemesis gravidarum http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperemesis_gravidarum to me than just regular pregnancy sickness… 

I agree with most of what @girlygirl885: said- do the 20week… it could be twins! If you had a totally by the book pregnancy I would say do whatever you want, but while your super sickness isn’t uncommon or abnormal… it’s not exactly what a midwife would want to see going on at this point- you’re probably not getting the nutrients or water you really need which isn’t ideal. 

To help with the nausea, try getting little bits of protein in? Like a cheese stick, or some nuts, peanut butter… check to see if your prenatal vitamins have iron in them- that can make some mamas sick, try B-vitamins, get some sun! Try an herbal pregnancy tea with nettles in it… make SURE you do not get dehydrated. That is extremely important. 

Post # 16
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m sorry your appointment left you with such negative feelings, it must be nerve wracking to get so worried about something and then have it completely glossed over. That said, I don’t really get the sense from your OP that the MW was at all judging your homebirth decision.

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