(Closed) Judgey Know-it-all Women at Work: VENT and LONG

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah she has no right to get mad at what you said because she was rude and offensive first….if she can’t take it dont dish it out!  *hugs* hang in there and don’t let the haters get you down :3 They are probably just jealous because they haven’t been proposed to!

Post # 5
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

What they did was mean, but I would take offense to what you said too (about your Fiance needing to wait a couple years). It just sounds equally judge-y in my book, but I understand what you meant. Personally, I would apologize. You’ve obviously offended her. Be the bigger person.

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m glad that your situation has worked out in your culture, but in the US, statistically, those marriages fail. They could have been much more tactful about how they went about it, or not said anything, of course (both are preferable to what they said), but their stance on the matter has been proven by studies. And, just because divorce isn’t really an option doesn’t mean that everyone who stays together is happy.

My parents were engaged at 3 months, and had a 23 year long emotionally abusive marriage. It very common for short engagements to lead to situations like that (at least in our culture) because you simply don’t know the person that well – not like you do when you’ve been together for a few years or more. That’s not a guarantee, either – nothing is – so it’s important to follow your own instincts. Sounds like you are! There are many exceptions to every rule, so here’s hoping you are one of them!

Post # 7
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

They’re just jealous!  It’s too bad that they have nothing better to do than talk about you, because you have a fiance and a wedding to plan.  Don’t let them get you down!

My first day at my first “big girl/office” job, when I was 22 and had gotten engaged less than a month before to a man I’d been in a relationship with for 5 years, the mid-30’s, divorced woman who was training me said, “Oh, you’re engaged?  Ugh, well, you never know if THAT’ll work out.”  Well, guess what, 2 years later I’m incredibly happy and married to a wonderful man, and she’s still bitter and single.

Post # 10
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t think its jealousy – I agree with a PP’s who said they probably see you as young and dumb, as unfortunate as that sounds. My parents only knew each other for 3 months before getting engaged and they recently celebrated there 35 year anniversary so it does work for some people. I think people in America are just so used to divorce that they assume that’s what will happen for you. Still there is no reason they should have been rude.

Post # 11
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Let them be, and don’t let it get to you. 

I don’t think they’re jealous, but were just voicing an unwanted opinion of what they would’ve done given their circumstances/dating history. Doesn’t make them right or wrong about you getting engaged after 5 months.

The part where they were wrong was thinking that someone gives a rat’s ass what they think.

 

Post # 14
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it is any of their business.  Your response was a little mean.  I’d call it a draw.

Post # 15
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think this is sadly pretty common. People tend to judge anyone / anything thats different from the situation they are in or be spiteful. And people project ALOT!! Don’t let it get to you, just enjoy your engagement and wondeful FI! Don’t give her the pleasure of letting these comments bring you down during this happy time for you.

Something similiar happened to me at an old job when I first started dating my bf. My boss was 15 yrs older and desperatly trying to marry her bf – like yelling & crying at him on the phone about it loud enough for the whole floor to hear for hours. Scary. When she found out my bf is a writer like her ex she rained on my parade for dating a “poor writer” who would supposedly ignore / dump me as soon as his next project started. Well, that never happened and we will be getting engaged this summer!! She’d also make the women with kids work extra late at the office and miss picking them up from daycare / school on purpose, then laugh about it behind their backs the next day!! It made me furios!! Most people would quit after 6 months and HR could never figure out why, LOL!

Post # 16
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

To echo what has already been stated: forget the b*tches! You’re happy, that’s all that matters. Unfortunately, the office can be a lot like high school. Gossip, cliques, drama, back stabbing, everything that doing a JOB and doing it WELL is NOT about. If they couldn’t handle a slightly snarky response to their abrasive attitudes and remarks regarding your relationship, then they shouldn’t have opened their mouths in the first place.

Happy wedding planning!! Let them be jaded and bitter. Not your problem! 😉

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