- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So I want to start this off by saying this is in no way an attack against Stay-At-Home Mom. If you feel you might be offended by such, I definetely apologize and hope you can just skip over this thread as just another “opinion.” However.. I can personally say I’ve been wanting to post this for awhile to see how many working moms feel the same way I do and share their stories.
I am not a working mom, yet. My husband and I are expecting and I know full well I will be a working mom after maternity leave is up because we need the money, the insurance benefits my job offers, and to be honest, I feel it’s only fair to my future kids to bring in whatever I can that will allow me to provide them with opportunities they might not have if I work.
I often see posts about women who feel they are judged for being Stay-At-Home Mom, but rarely do I see the working moms speak out, and let’s be honest, we are judged too. Today at work, after hearing many many comments before, kinda hit me the wrong way when an older co-worker made an unnecessary comment that was obviously aimed at the younger workers. I haven’t announced my pregnancy yet as it’s too early, but me and a co-worker were discussing “when” either of us want kids and all that jazz. The older co-worker piped in and said with quite a snide tone, “I didn’t enter the working force until I was done raising my family. It didn’t seem fair to the kids.” THAT. That belief that you are somehow less of a mom if you work. As if you can’t provide the same support, and love to create a beautiful family to be proud of. Really? I was raised by a mom who worked 40 hour weeks (often leading to 60 hour as she was on call 24/7) and not ONCE did I feel neglected by her absence. She spent every free moment she could with me. Raised me the right way. I excelled in school, was involved in plenty of extracurricular activities, developed all the necessary social skills, and have gone on to be a prospering young adult. Her decision to work provided us with the financial stability to be able to do things friends of mine couldn’t because only one spouse worked.
Am I jealous that some women have the opportunity to stay at home and deal with all the responsibilities of the home without worrying about a full-time job too? Of course. Very rarely will any woman say that if they had the opportunity to stay home with their children that they wouldn’t. But again, let’s be clear. I won’t be less of a mom because I choose to work (and have to). I HATE comments from Stay-At-Home Mom that state “I’m a stay at home mom because I just can’t see myself putting my kids second..” or “being a second-rate mom” or..”there’s no way I would miss out on their childhood.”
And don’t get me started on how much work people feel it is.. People seem to forget that working moms do both. They do all the Stay-At-Home Mom mom duties of cleaning, feeding, bill paying, etc..and they work 40+ hours a week, so let me raise a glass to you 🙂
So to all the moms that have experienced this judgment, please feel free to agree or disagree. Post your experiences and how you got over it. I definetely need some encouragement from other moms who have done with working mom thing and how they managed it. I would love the ideas.