(Closed) Jumped in 2 days before her wedding date.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh man, that’s a tough one !

Has her cousin made everything official ? They need to talk about this.

Post # 4
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow. Is there a reason, like out of town family or something, that would otherwise travel for both? 

Post # 5
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m all about the “you get one day”, but that’s pretty ugly. Same venue, essentially the same guests and the same format. I think that someone needs to talk to her cousin and explain why this is an issue.

Honestly– there isn’t too much that can be said, unfortunately.

 

 

@Elvis:  Even then.. same venue even!?

Post # 6
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

on the bright side…at least the out of town family can make a trip out of it and be able to attend both?? But that’s really messed up. Has she had issues with this cousin before??

Post # 7
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Is your friend’s cousin geting married on Friday and your friend on Sunday?

It sucks, but they can still have completely different style of wedding. If couisn is set on doing this I would suck up my rage and talk to her about what she is planning just so they can make their events as different as possible (different decor, menu).

Post # 9
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

wow – I find the “thunder stealing” drama to be completely abnoxious and self centered 99% of the time – but this is definitely an exception. Same venue and 2 days?!?!   Thats pure BITCHY.  Not much she can do about it though, telling her cousin how upsetting this is probably won’t matter, she obviously knew when she picked the date, unless she is a complete idiot.   🙁

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Maybe the cousin didn’t do it to ‘be first’ or to upstage your friend. Even as the one bride’s friend you will only be getting half the story, maybe this cousin and her Fiance had been planning their wedding for months before your friend and had already had deposits on the venue and the date, but your friend just didn’t know or didn’t care herself to be considerate. 

Maybe this date is very important to the cousin. I’m having a hard time just jumping on the bandwagon to say this cousin is a heartless biotch. Especially when you are just a friend of the other bride and not the actual other bride.

Post # 11
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

O_o

I’m all about the “you only get one day too” but this is ridiculous and I find it to be a really b*tchy move.  I think it’s ok of someone else had a baby shower or wedding shower or birthday party right around the wedding since it would mean Out of Town guests could attend, but a WEDDING and at the SAME venue isn’t cool at all.  The only way it would be acceptable is if there was a very sick relative that isn’t expected to make it past that weekend or a super close family member that could only travel that weekend.  But given the wedding is months away, I doubt this is the case.  It seems like a scream for attention to me.  At least the family members seem to understand and are annoyed at the cousin.

I think what your friend needs to do is call her cousin and figure out why her cousin chose that date and if she’s got stuff booked.  If it’s not a legit reason, I might try and get family to put pressure on said cousin to move the date.  Grandparents are good for that since they are the heads of the family.  If that doesn’t work, then all your friend can really do is find out what the cousin is planning for her wedding, make sure she doesn’t plan anything similar, and then not share details with the cousin.  It’s not an ideal situation, but as long as the weddings are different it’ll all work out!

Post # 12
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My cousin’s getting married 6 weeks after me, halfway across the country, and i’m a bit tiffed – I can not even imagine how your friend will feel. Just cheer her up, and tell her to get her Save-The-Date Cards out and keep her mouth shut about the plans! 

Post # 13
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m sorry the dates are so close- I image logistics are going to be a night mare, with honeymoon plans, last minute DIY things that have to be shifted around, extra expense, etc. Because of all that, I do think 2 days is really not enough time between weddings for cousins. But if that can all be worked out, I wanted to give a counter opinion for the emotional side of things. My cousin just got married, and while the 2.5 month gap between our weddings is nothing compared to the gap your friend is experiencing, I’d welcome a shorter one. The whole night, it felt like instead of taking away from her moment, the closeness of our weddings multiplied the love for both of us, and now I can’t wait to get married. If that makes sense.

 

Post # 14
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Wow- I am soooooooooooooo sorry… Her cousin is a biotch!

Post # 15
Member
4891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Same weekend is sort of one thing. It’ll be nice for Out of Town guests, but… same venue!?!? I would be furious! 

Is she going to honeymoon in the same place too? 

Post # 16
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well, I don’t know where it is. It’s possible there *is* only one good venue. I’ve seen places like that. 

But I do feel for the friend. I think the cousin could have at least called her and said, “Hey, would you be okay with this?”  

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