(Closed) June 2013 Babies- Part 3!!!!

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 122
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1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@anotherbee:  Yep gag refelxes all the way here. If I think about gagging I gag. I just try to be really careful! 

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@MrsSawyer:  That is a fantastic measurement! Really low! Congrats πŸ™‚ 

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@saltybalty:  My god 14 weeks. Its all moving so FAST! I am sure your appointment will go GREAT! 

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@MrsDW:  I hear you. I cannot get through the day without a nap. Its just NOT possible. I feel so lazy but I went one day without one and I was falling asleep at like 8 o’clock.. 

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@blueroses:  Great to have you back! We have not looked into daycare. I plan to be staying at home with baby. I earn more than my DH so its a big choice but I really want to stay home. Its a luxury my mother didn’t have and trust me, we all heard about it! I might change my mind once our LO arrives and decide I want to go back to work but for the time being, the plan is for me to go home. That’s also why we plan to have all our kids (hopefully) in close succession. So I will be home for a few years and then once they are in school be able to go back into work. Who knows though! 

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@anotherbee:  Great news that your boss was excited for you. We still haven’t told anyone bar our parents and my sister. I am getting really anxious about sharing it πŸ™ I don’t know why. I just like it being our secret and I want it that way a bit longer! Urggg. 

 

AFM, I can confirm that pregnancy hemroids are for real. I had NEVER had them before and thought I was miscarrying.. (Sorry TMI!!). I am bleeding from my gums too. I am so sexy..  

Post # 123
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1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@blueroses:  we have not started working on daycare pricing. I know there is no way we’ll be able to be a stay-at-home family. I carry our insurance and he brings home the paychecks. We do have the option to have him at home 2 days during the week but then he would work every weekend. πŸ™  we wouldn’t have any family time. Kind of selfish but we’re hoping his parents will offer some time to watch the baby. They are both retired… But I’m not sure what I think about having the baby at their house. 

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@anotherbee:  yay for telling co-workers!! I’m at my part time job and its just awkward to be like “surprise I’m almost 11 weeks pregnant and haven’t told you yet”. I don’t know how to get over that. Hopefully ill be able to soon. πŸ™‚

Post # 124
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254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Sea_bass: 
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@MrsDW:  I think there are a couple of ladies in our group who are due on June 2nd, so we should all be hitting week 14 tomorrow. It’s exciting that our group is finally getting this far along. Over the next month, some of us might start to feel the baby move and maybe even find out the sex!

Post # 125
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887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Sea_bass:  I hear you on the cold feet about telling people… I was soo excited about it for months and now that it’s right around the corner I’m wanting to hold onto the secret for a bit longer. We were going to tell our parents after the NT scan (which is this wednesday, eep!), but now I’m thinking of holding off until all the bloodwork comes back. There is bloodwork I have to get that day, but then more that gets done 2 weeks later I think. And I have no idea how long those results take to come back, but most bloodwork that I’ve gotten has taken 2 weeks to come back. My husband is getting excited / antsy to tell people though, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to rein him in :/

Post # 126
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254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@anotherbee:  Congrats on telling your boss! So glad you got a good response!

 

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@blueroses:  We might investigate and put our names on a couple of day care waiting lists in our area as a back-up plan, but we have a slightly more complicated plan in the meantime.

DH works freelance on design and art projects and I’m a full-time college prof and freelance illustrator. He’s decided to be a stay-at-home dad on the days I teach and have meetings. On the days I don’t teach/evenings/weekends, we’ll try to switch off who’s more of the hands-on parent and who’s working on freelance projects based on our deadlines (we’re going to try not to take on any big projects at the same time). Over the summer, when I’m not teaching, we’ll try to do the same. He’ll be working much less until the baby is pre-school age, but we think it will end up costing us around the same as the cost of daycare or a nanny/babysitter in our area and this way the baby will be cared for by one of us while he or she is so young (that was really important to DH, while I was fine with daycare/babysitter).

It’s going to be a little hard, because I always thought that I’d be the more “hands-on” parent in our relationship, but our job situations really switched in the last couple of years and this is the only way to make it work out for us economically. Also, I think DH is naturally a little bit more nurturing than I am, while I’m probably a little more ambitious than he is, so it’s probably a more natural fit.  We’ll just really need to work hard to make sure we still spend enough time with each other and are putting time into our marriage, not just jobs or parenting. Sorry, for such a long answer! I think I’m explaining it to myself as much as to you or anyone else on our board.

Post # 127
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ok major rant on the way… 

I’ll just preface this by saying that our house is an absolute pigsty at the moment. I haven’t been up to cleaning/ironing/cooking etc as I have massive fatigue and can’t handle the smell of anything. 

So today I get up early bite the bullet and clean out the fridge. Which DH has filled with OPEN (not wrapped up or stored) containers of the most stinking liver pate you can imagine. I have asked him a zillion times not to do this as it makes me vomit whenever I open the fridge. He says he won’t do it and does it anyway. 

So I clean and re-organize the whole fridge because he doesn’t do it it hasn’t been done in forever. Then our grocerry delivery comes. I can’t carry it upstairs as its really heavy so I ask him to do it. He decides to only carry what needs to be refridgerated/frozen and leaves the rest at the front door and goes back to watching TV. 

He does this EVERY single week. I hate it as that is our food stuff. We live on a really busy road and our front door lets in loads of dirt from the traffic etc. It is also right next to our cat litter. EVERY single week I ask him to bring it all up and he says he will and he never has done it ever. Normally I leave it there a few days and then crack and carry it upstairs myself. I have a back condition which gets much worse in pregnancy does to the relaxing of the muscels. In short, there is NO WAY I should be carrying this stuff. Its really heavy, like gallons and gallons of water etc. 

So I ask him this morning, can you please carry everything. He starts swearing his head of at me saying F*ck this and that and how he should be able to lie down and relax etc. 

I was so upset I started crying. How can he swear his head of at me?! I am his pregnant wife. It would take him all of 5 seconds on carry it up. And I physically cannot do it. 

Now I am looking at our house and the mountain of ironing, laundry, cleaning EVERYTHING that needs to be done today and I know he is not going to lift a single finger to help me. I did all the cleaning/cooking/chores before being pregnant and now I am pregnant its I do them, or they simply just don’t get done and we live in filth, which really upsets me. 

I am so over this. I want to go downstairs and throw something at his head. How dare you swear at me? How dare you treat this house like a f*cking hotel and me like your f*cking maid.

 

Post # 128
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Sea_bass:  have you talked to your dh about it? I told hubby right away that when im sick or exhausted he needs to help out around the house. So far he’s been pretty good. Of course it’s not clean to “my standards” but it’s at least cleaner than letting it go for a few weeks until I might feel better. πŸ™ hope something happens and your dh helps! 

 

Im pretty sure i’ve hit a funk. I’m annoyed that it feels like I’m buying clothes all the time and they stop fitting after a week. I don’t really want to decorate for Christmas, but then realize its our last Christmas alone and kind of want a tree and the whole works again. I think not having a tree up is putting me in a funk. I literally have half of our shopping done for Christmas. Inlaws & my parents are getting a wedding album… Found out they might not make it here by Christmas now. We need to paint our bedroom and bathroom, and clean out the baby’s room so it will be ready for paint in a few months. But I have no energy and hubby is currently working 6 days a week until Christmas. πŸ™ 

Post # 129
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1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@MrsDW:  Yes. I have spoken to him numerous times. He is very good at agreeing and saying he is totally on board with helping more. Just nothing, nothing, actually happens. 

Massive sigh.

 

Post # 130
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4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Sea_bass:  I vote go go throw something at him πŸ™‚ hehe. I’m sorry your DH is being immature, while my DH is ok most of the time with the chores and such around the house he can be a little insensitive to me and I have to explain that my whole body has been taken over and if he says something that can be interpreted as mean even if he doen’t mean for it to be, I’ll cry. Plain and simple. The friendly reminders that your WHOLE LIFE and BODY (ie. what you eat, drink, how often you sleep etc…) is not decided by you anymore and he needs to cut you some slack and help out my start to sink in. Hope things get better over there! If it were me and things didn’t get better I would probably leave and stay at my parents for a few days until he got the message.

Post # 131
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173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@MrsDW:  I know just what you mean – we are in a similar situation. We might be able to work it out so that our little one would only need daycare 3 days a week, but that would also mean DH working weekends. 

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@saltybalty:  Sounds like a complicated plan, but one that will work! My DH is also the more nurturing of the two of us – and his mom used to run a daycare. I am ecstatic to have a baby, but I think it’s going to be more of an adjustment for me because of that. He also feels it’s very important for one of us to be home with the baby, but I just don’t see that happening. Either way, I am sure for all us first time moms, it will be an adjustment to find the time to spend on our marriages and not just work/parenting. 

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@Sea_bass:  I hope the plan to stay home works out for you! That is definitely a big choice if you make more than DH. My mom DID get to stay home with my sister and I, and loved it – I wish I could do it, but I also make more than my DH, and I’m not sure we could carry the bills/mortgage on his take home alone.

On another note, I truly hope things change around the house for you! Hopefully your DH will come to his senses and start really helping out. 

 

I did do some research on daycare in our area yesterday. I couldn’t call most places since they are not open on the weekends, but some did have prices on their websites. At this point everything was about $1000-$1300. It will definitely be interesting rearranging our spending habits to make that work! 

 ETA: $1000-$1300/month

 

Post # 132
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@blueroses:  Yeah its a big choice, but we will see how we go. I am planning on keeping an open mind. We don’t really have day cares in my area so we would pretty much have to have a nanny and that would be $4,000+ per month. With the tax we pay and then that I question how worth it would be for me to work… 

Post # 133
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1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Sea_bass:  Definately in the “go throw something at his head” camp now! πŸ™‚ I hope things get better dear!  Wow $4000 a month?! Can you or hubby work from home? Or are you thinking about staying home?

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@blueroses:  that seems like decent pricing. I’ve heared bees say $400-$600 a week minimum.  Not sure on your area though. Or is that for only 3 days of daycare? I’m going to start looking Monday I think. A family friend runs a daycare (too far away from us to use) but its set in stone that if you miss a day (child sick or vacation… Doesn’t matter) you still owe her the full weekly fee. And she gets 2 weeks off a year but the parents pay her for those weeks too (and obviously they have to take vacation then, or pay a 2nd babysitter). It makes me afraid of what else daycares will write in. I’m really torn on my husband working every weekend though.

 

Ive had no desire to get out of bed today. I have a big list of stuff to do but I just can’t get moving… 

Post # 134
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1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@MrsDW:  The plan is for me to stay at home. There’s no way my DH could work from home and as you can tell he is hardly a domestic godess. At least if I were at home I could manage the house.. 

I have a splitting headache and want to go and lie down but my DH is in our room watching TV. Urg.
 

Post # 135
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1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Sea_bass:  can you lay down on the couch? I have a headahe forming so Im sure im going to move to the couch now lol. I wish either one of us could stay home with the baby. But it’s just not possible for us πŸ™ that’s why having hubby home 2 days a week sounds appetizing, but I would get no family time other than late at night.  

Post # 136
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ok ladies… I can’t be the only one. So tell me… 

What are you craving that you “cannot” eat? And how are you dealing with it? 

I’m dieing for a sub sandwich. Any lunch meat really.  I hate lunch meat warm so I’m not giving in and warming it up/letting it cool. I don’t really know how to get over this. 

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