(Closed) June 2013 brides… this is your VENT thread!

posted 9 years ago in June 2013
Post # 32
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Birdi:  WE have our fights too, Some massive ones about super stupid stuff. Hang in there and remember to talk through it when you both calm down or it gets brushed under the rug. So ready for this stress to be done!

3 more weeks! I’ll be one of the first to join the ranks on the 1st. We got our marriage license today! have you ladies done this yet? its good for 60 days so we are all in the time frame! this is nuts!

We printed the program today… the printer ate a few. no seriously there is one with what looks like a bite mark. thank God I had extra. this did mean though that we had to print the embossed little suckers one by one. that right folks 180 2 sided programs one by one. and after spending the 2 hours to get that done I realized the name of the church was spelled wrong. whatever those suckers go into the trash afterwards anyways. i did print a corrected one for us though 🙂

Post # 33
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LaTortuga:  Thanks:) we got over it. He hung up on me and I called him back and said “did you just hang up on me?” And then I hung up on him and he called me back and we both laughed .  yay! You got your license!!! I just got mine last weekend and ours is good for 60 days too.  This is crazy right? time is flying! Keep us updated …I’d like to wish you good luck before your big day:) 

Post # 34
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Birdi:  Good luck to you too! We will be jet lagged by your wedding, Europe here we come! lol

Post # 35
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LaTortuga:  Honeymooning in Europe?! Lucky girl! Have fun and thanks for the well wishes…I’m already getting nervous Lol:) 

Post # 36
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@birdi I hope you see this because I think everyone here should read it.

Take a week off Weddingbee. We suck ourselves into the enviroment of detailed wedding bliss and most of the things dont matter to anyone but us. that doesn’t mean its not important it only means that it must be important to you. forget what we say before because no matter what you do now, the recap photos are still going to bring out the ooh and ahs of the bees and more importantly your friends/ family.

Ladies dont get nervous or stress. Prince charming is at the end of the aisle and is waiting because he wants you. I bet he looks nothing like a prince that day but he will see you as a princess. even in white jeans and a t shirt. so relax and don;t forget to enjoy your wedding day.

Post # 37
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

1) We asked DH’s sister to do a reading in our ceremony, but she declined. He hasn’t asked anyone yet. I keep tellling him to ask someone else so I can submit the information to have our programs printed. He doesn’t get how these things can’t wait until the last minute! (I already asked my niece to do our second reading).

2) Only about 4 people are coming to my bachelorette party. 🙁 A few of my girlfriends have other plans that day, even though when they got married three years ago I went to theirs. I feel like my friends who got married before me (which is all of them) are “over” the whole wedding thing and just aren’t all that interested.

3) I am totally stressing about our ceremony. We decided to have an outdoor ceremony at our reception site, in part to make it more convienent for our guests–have everything in one spot, no big gap of time in between. Well, it turns out that there is a second wedding ceremony scheduled at the same time as ours (the place has two gazebos). So I am very concerned about basically competing with the wedding occuring simulatenously, especially about our music (I’m paying for live musicians) being drowned out by the other ceremony’s music. Not to mention with microphones, will we hear each others’ vows and such?

But wait, it gets better. After the two five o’clock ceremonies, there is a THIRD wedding ceremony scheduled that day…at our gazebo! We have to be out of the gazebo by 6pm so the third wedding can start at 6:30, which means we’ll have about 20 minutes to take pictures, then we’ll have to run around the country club looking for other spots to take pictures. I seriously think the ceremony is going to be a DISASTER. I really wish we had decided to get married in a church.

4) Plus, when we booked the ceremony site, unbeknownst to me that didn’t automatically include a rehersal time. Once I called to book the rehearsal, it was already booked by another bride. We have to do the rehearsal the night before because DH’s mom and sister are coming in from out of state, so we have to rehearse at a different gazebo than the one we will be getting married in.

5) Speaking of the rehearsal, we decided to plan a low-key rehearsal dinner at a pizza place because it was the closet restaurant to our ceremony site, and is also across the street from the hotel we and our guests are staying at. DH’s mom & sister will be making a long drive to get up here and I didn’t want to add to their drive. Well, I should’ve just booked the dinner wherever I wanted because they won’t even be here for the rehearsal! Apparently it’s a 12 hour drive, which they are going to do in one day. The day before our wedding. I won’t even get to see my sister-in-law and mother-in-law (who I’ve only met once) before I marry their brother/son.

Ugh, I really needed to vent! I’ve been pretty relaxed but now everything’s piling up and I feel like I’ve made one bad decision after another! I wish I could start all over and plan everything brand new.

Post # 38
Member
1797 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’ve worked very hard for 2 years and there was always so much to do.  Now it’s time to WRAP IT UP and I just can’t figure out how to do that.  Keeps me up at night ><

Post # 39
Member
280 posts
Helper bee

Thank goodness, a thread where I can just vent a little! Still chasing up the last RSVPs, despite reminder messages there are quite a few missing and I just want to get on with making the table plan and buying canapes alright! 

My bridesmaids are all lovely but any participation or help has basically fallen flat. They seem to have spent the majority of the time trying to decide on shoes. The wedding is just over a month away and I haven’t been asked for a list of names for the bachellorette so I’m thinking it’s not going to happen at all. There just seem to be a lot of empty promises without anything materializing Cry I see so many awesome bachellorette parties here on the Bee and I just wish my friends would have put in the same effort for me. I’ve organized the wedding and Fiance and I organized our own engagement party, starting to feel like we’re putting in all this work and not really getting much of anything back. Last night one of my bridesmaids was supposed to come over after our gym class to help me glue the comb into my veil. She bailed on me as we left the gym because she had other stuff to do and basically can’t/won’t help with anything until just before the wedding. So I did it by myself this evening and equally I’ll be doing all the other DIY jobs by myself. I’m so sad about it, I was hoping that a bottle of wine and some laughs while putting some of this stuff together would be a great time but everyone just seems too busy with their own things to give a damn. My mom and Future Mother-In-Law are lovely but live abroad so as much as they would like to help it’s just not possible.

In addition Fiance and I are both looking for jobs (both our contracts are finishing imminently) and are just spectacularly unsuccessful at the moment. Fiance seems to be back on the brink of depression and has been really down this week. We have to do a LDR because of work so I haven’t been able to do anything else than supportive phone calls. I’ll be seeing him tomorrow but I don’t know if I have the energy to be an emotional crutch in addition to everything else getting me down right now.

So yeah, in summary, I feel lonely, stressed and a complete failure. Which in part explains why I’m typing this at 5am… 

Post # 40
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have a vent too–probably a long time in coming.

Most of the time, my mom doesn’t really act like she cares about the wedding. When I have expressed my feelings regarding her seeming indifference, she has told me that she’s worried that she’ll just get in the way. Sometimes she asks about things, but it’s probably better that we don’t talk about it much… because here are some of the things that she has said when we have.

In response to our having wine and beer, but not a full bar: “Tacky”

Yet… in response to feeding our guests dinner (and finding out what catering costs): “Too expensive–why don’t you just serve hor d’oeuvres?” (Note–the wedding is not really local for anyone).

A practice version of my DIY centerpieces – “You really could do more with these.”

My dress – “It’s okay, but I hope that you don’t gain weight.” (I lost about 25 lbs. over two years ago, but have maintained my current weight since then).

I sent out handmade invitations four weeks ago. I called to ask if she liked it a week or so after I had sent them. She said that she hadn’t gotten around to opening it “because she knew what it was.” She has not returned the stamped RSVP card. Seriously, mom?

Finally, she has given me a really hard time regarding the budget for the wedding. She has not, however, contributed any money towards the wedding.  When my brother was married 7 years ago, she told me what she contributed towards his and said that she would give me the same when my time came. Her financial situation has changed a little since then, but it really hurts that she hasn’t at least acknowleged the discrepancy, yet continues to criticize.

She also won’t acknowledge that the total wedding cost includes her (and all immediate family/bridal party) accomodations because the wedding is semi-destination (2.5 hours from my hometown) at a Bed and Breakfast that we are renting out. She treats me like it must all result as a consequence of me making poor decisions about vendors, etc.

I know that a lot of this is about her–not about me, but it hurts nevertheless. I wish she would just be happy for me and say nice things once in a while.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 41
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well… Hmmm…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I cannot stop stressing about the planning and decision making and ordering and confirming and AHHHHHH, lol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been trying (I guess not enough) to lose 10 lbs for months upon months and nothing. I am so scared I will look fat (for lack of a better word) in my pictures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I still have no idea if I am getting a rehearsal dinner… Mother-In-Law had mentionned over a year ago that traditionally, the parents of the groom take care of the rehearsal (my family and I took care of the egagement party). I didn’t know about this tradition but was surprised to hear her talk about it, so I assumed she was hinting about taking care of it. Maybe I should have jumped on it when she mentionned it and thanked her or asked her… Ugh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only 1/3 of my step-siblings are coming… One of them would rather use his time off for a gig (musician, struggling musician) and the other cannot take the time off work (off course I understand… but she has known about this for over a year… it stings a wee bit). That’s not even what I am upset about with her, it’s that she is telling our parents that she is not going but she hasn’t bothered to pick up the phone and TELL ME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel like there is still SO MUCH to do. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s like the wedding is all I freaking think about, day in and day out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s almost like I spend more time stressing than being excited. 

 

Oh, and the RSVP drama has just begun and I cannot freaking decide if I should allow my 2 teenaged cousins to attend.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 42
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have seen this thread and avoided it but now I think I am at the breaking point and need to vent..

1. The RSVP’s the due date on them was May 1st and although some have trickled through it is to the point that we need to contact people so we can get an accurate plate count. My fiance says just count them out but then when they do show up it throws a kink in things (seating chart/food..etc). Majority of them are his friends because they are apparently too lazy to simply send back a stamped card. He has contacted them and majority of them have said yes they will be in attendance. Still need to contact a few of his family members too…why is this so difficult for people

2. Seating chart. He was supposed to help me but he keeps putting it off. He says let people sit where they want. My only fear with this is a family may have to break up and sit separately if i dont have a seating chart if they arent there promptly (his response is this is their own problem they should arrive on time). He clearly has an answer for everything doesnt he!

3. PHOTOGRAPHER!  She is giving us 45 minutes prior to the ceremony to snap pictures–this disappointed me. When I wanted more time she wanted to charge me an extra $500 HECK NO LADY! I thought since they have two photographers the limo can take guys to one location girls to the other and we can snap away for 45 minutes….the idea was ruined when she told me that they share the vehicle and certain lenses so that wouldnt be possible..now only the girls are getting photographed before which is frustrating because I wanted the majority of the photos out of the way so the guests dont have to wait. She came highly recommend from several of my mothers friends and now I am having regret that she was booked for our special day.

4. finances. My parents are footing the bill for the wedding. However, Ive never been the type to ask people for money so if i see something i like for the wedding I purchase it. (centerpieces..etc) My next big purchase is chair covers which I already told my mother went wedding planning began I would cover these because they are $600 and she didnt see them to be a necessary cost since the venue has nice chairs. Since I am picky I demanded that these be necessary and told her I would pay for them. I also am paying for the limo (although knowing my mother she may pay for it the day of–she likes to do these sort of things). My issue is not with paying for things (i’ve probably spent over $1,000 between centerpieces, limo, bridesmaids gifts, items for ushers, flower girl dress, etc). My issue is that my fiance has never once offered to help contribute at all.. Again I am not the type to ask for money but the other day I made a comment that was like well maybe we could split the cost of chair covers and he about had a heart attack at the thought of that. He says I havent asked for his opinion on the process so why should he contribute–this may be true but only because I gave up asking because his comments were generally, I dont care, do what you like, or he was too busy to discuss anything! He thinks im overstressing about everything which may be true but I dont think he understands what goes into a wedding he basically only has to show up day of.

 

END RANT.

Post # 43
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@lealorali:  No stress from this bride at all. Planning has been easy-peasy and no drama! Come on June 21st!

Post # 44
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I spoke too soon…I wasn’t done

5. limo: Limo company can only pick us up before and do everything with us they are unable to take the 10-12 guests to the hotel following reception. I was aware of this when booking but booked anyways. We live in a small town my next option was to hire someone a hour away and pay a huge amount due to their travel costs etc. I figured I could sort it out with a local shuttle company of some sort. Everyone wants to charge me $300. Keep in mind it will take them 5 minutes to accomplish this task…the reception is two blocks from hotel. My fiance says for them to just drive themselves but I dont want anyone drinking and driving and I dont want anyone to feel they cant have a good time because they have to worry about driving. Those that I have to transport are myself and groom and then my bridesmaids and those that have a date along with a few college friends. Majority of the guests are from around the area so they wont be staying in the hotel. I suppose I am not shuttling them home after their night of fun so why should i shuttle guests to hotel. I just find it necessary…opinions please

Post # 45
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m a little nervous about our rehearsal dinner. FI’s family promised to pay for it when got engaged in February of 2012. They aren’t good with money at all, but despite that, I think both of us got our hopes up. Well it’s looking bleaker and bleaker that they will be paying for it, and while we CAN cover the costs, Fiance is starting grad school and the fall, and we really didn’t want to spend the money.

 

The worst part though is my Fiance is embarrassed about it because my parents are paying for the whole wedding, and his parents keep lying to us, saying they’ll have the money. I just wish they’d call and say “we’re really sorry, we can’t help out.” Just apologize, that would mean SO MUCH. But they just keep saying, don’t worry! Well I have to worry, the restaurant has my credit card on file, not yours!

Post # 46
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I love my mom. She’s paying for our wedding and I’m honestly floored by her generosity, so I really can’t complain too much. But if she sends me one more friggin’ thing to add to my to-do list, I’m going to lose it! The most recent email: “Can you find a hairdresser for the junior bridesmaids and grandma?”

I wanted to say: No. I can’t find a hairdresser in New York City on one month’s notice in the middle of wedding season who will be willing to come to the hotel at six a.m. to do three people’s hair, and if by some miracle I am able to find someone, they are going to charge an amount roughly approximate to three months worth of mortgage payments. Maybe everyone should have anticipated this SIX MONTHS AGO when I asked you who would require the services of a hairdresser and makeup artist that morning!

Argh! I’m just so tired of people adding extra projects to my plate. I’ve already emailed about one zillion restaurants trying to find the ONE place in Brooklyn that can seat 45 guests at less than $25 a head, pulled together a “wish tree” guestbook that I don’t even WANT, and done about a hundred thousand million other things without any help. Our wedding is in thirty one days. I am DONE. Any more projects that come up will be delegated to the requesting party. You want bathroom baskets? Knock yourself out. Welcome bags? Have fun at Sam’s Club. The bride will be taking a nap on her couch, dreaming of her honeymoon. 

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