I was 24 weeks yesterday and am feeling really depressed, and I cant really explain why, like I know the things that are bothering me but I cant explain why they are haveing such a big effect on me,
I battled with my weight for years untill about 4 years ago when I lost heaps of weight and got really into exercising. fFor the past 4 years i have had a good body (have worked hard for it too)! I kept this weight off untill I got pregnant and well despite all my efforts ie still doing bootcamp 3 days a week, swimming, personal training and going to the gym right up until now, 24 weeks pregnant, despite it being painfull from the round ligament pain i have been experiencing, and being carefull with what I eat I have still gained 10 kg (20+pounds). It just seems really unfair, I know everyone elses pregnancys are different but when I see that people at this stage have gained so much less than me I get depressed.
My best friend and I are drifting, she is totally disinterested in my pregnancy, and seems hell bent (though this is most likely my head playing on my insecurities) on throughing the fact that she is getting thinner and thinner in my face. To top it all off she recently got married and wore an almost identical dress to me, she bought hers a year after my wedding, so she new that it was very similar, I posted about this on another post and didn’t really get the response I was hoping for from some people, which makes me feel even more like I have lost the plot, as heaps of people couldn’t see why i was upset by it.
We leave for a month holiday in Europe tomz, you would think I would be ecstatic, I’m not, and I dont know why. I am worried that it will be ruined by my Darling Husband and I fighting, we have been recently for the following reasons:
- Stress – he started studying part time recently on top of his very full time job
- Stress – money – europe trip and new baby
- Stress – I am worried about how my career will be damaged by having a year off for maternity leave, but at the same time I want this year off to have with my child
- His snoring has gotten terrible, and he is falling asleep at 8pm on the couch almost everynight and snores,
- I am not getting enough sleep, I keep waking to go to the bathroom and when I come back to bed, he is snoring
I haven’t even started the nursery, because we have been saving for Europe, I will start buying things for baby in a month on our return. So i feel stressed about that
I have hardly felt baby move and find this worrying and even if i am rational and convince myself that baby is fine, I am finding it hard to connect with it as it doesn’t feel like i have a little person in me.
Oh and everynight my whole night is filled with dream after dream after dream they dont stop and they are not always pleasant…..
Argh….what do u think ladies?