(Closed) Junior Bridesmaid Doesn't Like the Dress?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What would you do about the Jr. Bridesmaid?
    Put her in the same dress as the other bridesmaids : (15 votes)
    29 %
    Put her in a dress that's in the same spirit as the other dresses but just a bit shorter : (29 votes)
    56 %
    Let her wear whatever as long as the color is that deep blue color or lighter : (2 votes)
    4 %
    If wearing a dress that's so different is THAT important, offer to let her step down and be a guest : (4 votes)
    8 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    157 posts
    Blushing bee

    Can you compromise with her? Maybe something a bit shorter with some subtle sparkle, but isn’t too wildly different? Maybe you can put some subtle sparkles in the flowing part of the dress or a small line of sparkles under the bust before it flows out? That way it is not TOO sparkly and blingy, but still has a bit of her own style in it? I have a really young looking face and as a teen/early 20something, I felt very weird in dresses that I felt I looked old in, so I get why she might feel self concious. 

    Post # 4
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    @lovelyduckie:  Could you give her a shorter lace dress? Like this:


    or this:


    Match colour and fabric but perhaps change the style a bit? And something like that she can wear again. Maybe a little bit of sparkle with an added belt would help too.

    I can understand as a young teenager not wanting to go strapless – and props to her for not wanting to dress too much older! I see a lot of teenagers dressing like they’re in their 20s, and it’s a bit sad.


    Post # 5
    2212 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would put her in the same dress as all of the other bridesmaids.  As a regular bridesmaid, people get put into dresses they don’t *love* all of the time.  That’s just the way things usually are, and I wouldn’t specifically cater to her.

    ETA:  Btw, the dress you’re describing sounds beautiful.  Pic or link?  I’m curious!

    Post # 6
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think it’s ok to put a JR Bridesmaid or Best Man in a slightly different dress, but nothing too different. If you give her something with sparkle it will make her stand out more then your Maid/Matron of Honor, only give her sparkle if they all have sparkle. 

    I would give her a similar dress to wear, but nothing shorter either.

    Post # 7
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m assuming she is quite younger, and that maybe a strapless would not be appropriate????  What do here parents have to say – they should have some say in this matter.

    Can the dress be added to so it does not look so “adult”.  Or an altenate close to the bridesmaid’s gowns?

    She also needs to understand that you have some say in this matter!




    Post # 10
    9594 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’d try to find something different for her that she likes but still fits in with everyone else’s style.  I would say a big NO to the sparkle when no one else has any.

    Post # 11
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think the dress is quite pretty. I could see a compromise with it being maybe knee length for the junior bridesmaid, but I don’t think she should break up the theme that you have mapped out. 

    Being a part of the wedding party is a privilege and she should either make up in her mind to suck it up, or step down.

    Post # 12
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think YOU should choose. I don’t think a short sparkly dress would be appropriate for her to wear. Just remind her that it’s a WEDDING not a homecoming dance. So you can either go with the same dress, something similar, or somthing maybe tea length?

    This is what my BM’s wore

    and this is what my 19yo ‘flower girl’ wore

    I think it worked out perfectly… So my suggestion is maybe a dress that is tea length and maybe has straps to make it more age appropriate.


    PS If she gives you crap, tell her that you love her, but it’s either the dress you chose or she can sit out and be a guest/reader/usher/program-hander-outer

    Post # 13
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    @lovelyduckie:  Oh! Haha, maybe I will change my vote to ‘wear what the others wear’ then. It isn’t appropriate at all for the youngest bridesmaid to be showing more skin than the adults!

    Maybe tell her she has to pick – strapless or short. That’s the rule isn’t it? Boobs or legs but not both! 😉

    Post # 16
    2212 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @lovelyduckie:  I think it’s very pretty in the photograph, but if it’s better in person – even more woohoo!  Love the fabric manipulation in the bodice.

    After seeing it, I still stick with my original response.  Your wedding is not about her and what she wants.  But, if you decide to have her in something else, I totally agree with many other folks – no sparkle if no one else has any!

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