Post # 1
I have a Junior Bridesmaid and she’s actually taller than one of my regular bridemsiads. But for some reason I don’t think she wants to wear the dress the bridesmaids are on the brink of selecting. The dress we’re going with is a deep blue strapless dress that’s long and flowy that’s from a vintage fashion web site. My gown is strapless lace.
Given that all the bridesmaids are in vintage-ish flowy gowns and I’m in lace with no sparkle, what type of dress would you aim for? Would you bother even trying to put her in the same dress? After all, she may be tall but she’s still a young teenager with her own style. The junior bridesmaid likes very short, strapless, and sparkly dresses and thinks the other dresses are too old for her. Don’t get me wrong she looks great in those dresses, but I just don’t think that look will match the rest of the party at all. I’m not as concerned about the length so much as her being all sparkly and modern where no one else is.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Can you compromise with her? Maybe something a bit shorter with some subtle sparkle, but isn’t too wildly different? Maybe you can put some subtle sparkles in the flowing part of the dress or a small line of sparkles under the bust before it flows out? That way it is not TOO sparkly and blingy, but still has a bit of her own style in it? I have a really young looking face and as a teen/early 20something, I felt very weird in dresses that I felt I looked old in, so I get why she might feel self concious.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
@lovelyduckie: Could you give her a shorter lace dress? Like this:
Match colour and fabric but perhaps change the style a bit? And something like that she can wear again. Maybe a little bit of sparkle with an added belt would help too.
I can understand as a young teenager not wanting to go strapless – and props to her for not wanting to dress too much older! I see a lot of teenagers dressing like they’re in their 20s, and it’s a bit sad.
Post # 5
I would put her in the same dress as all of the other bridesmaids. As a regular bridesmaid, people get put into dresses they don’t *love* all of the time. That’s just the way things usually are, and I wouldn’t specifically cater to her.
ETA: Btw, the dress you’re describing sounds beautiful. Pic or link? I’m curious!
Post # 6
I think it’s ok to put a JR Bridesmaid or Best Man in a slightly different dress, but nothing too different. If you give her something with sparkle it will make her stand out more then your Maid/Matron of Honor, only give her sparkle if they all have sparkle.
I would give her a similar dress to wear, but nothing shorter either.
Post # 7
I’m assuming she is quite younger, and that maybe a strapless would not be appropriate???? What do here parents have to say – they should have some say in this matter.
Can the dress be added to so it does not look so “adult”. Or an altenate close to the bridesmaid’s gowns?
She also needs to understand that you have some say in this matter!
Post # 8
@chronicwhimsy: @dkacerek: Not quite, she wants strapless and short. She’d be showing by far the most skin of anyone else. For some reason she also doesn’t want to wear lace…sigh
Post # 9
@DomesticDiva: It’s much better looking in person. I’ll try to post irl pics someday. I actually dislike it a lot on that model.
Post # 10
I’d try to find something different for her that she likes but still fits in with everyone else’s style. I would say a big NO to the sparkle when no one else has any.
Post # 11
I think the dress is quite pretty. I could see a compromise with it being maybe knee length for the junior bridesmaid, but I don’t think she should break up the theme that you have mapped out.
Being a part of the wedding party is a privilege and she should either make up in her mind to suck it up, or step down.
Post # 12
I think YOU should choose. I don’t think a short sparkly dress would be appropriate for her to wear. Just remind her that it’s a WEDDING not a homecoming dance. So you can either go with the same dress, something similar, or somthing maybe tea length?
This is what my BM’s wore
and this is what my 19yo ‘flower girl’ wore
I think it worked out perfectly… So my suggestion is maybe a dress that is tea length and maybe has straps to make it more age appropriate.
PS If she gives you crap, tell her that you love her, but it’s either the dress you chose or she can sit out and be a guest/reader/usher/program-hander-outer
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
@lovelyduckie: Oh! Haha, maybe I will change my vote to ‘wear what the others wear’ then. It isn’t appropriate at all for the youngest bridesmaid to be showing more skin than the adults!
Maybe tell her she has to pick – strapless or short. That’s the rule isn’t it? Boobs or legs but not both! 😉
Post # 14
@chronicwhimsy: It’s true, I’m not comfortable with both.
Post # 15
What about the Verbena dress? (BTW i voted that she should be in the same dress as the other BM’s… but just for thought)
Post # 16
@lovelyduckie: I think it’s very pretty in the photograph, but if it’s better in person – even more woohoo! Love the fabric manipulation in the bodice.
After seeing it, I still stick with my original response. Your wedding is not about her and what she wants. But, if you decide to have her in something else, I totally agree with many other folks – no sparkle if no one else has any!