Post # 1
Hi there everyone 🙂
Just wondering if I could ask your opinion please?
Myself and my husband are happily married since 2008 and when we were getting married we decided as a couple that the bridal party would involve all family members so nobody would be left out…I completely understand that its entirely up to the couples themselves however we asked my husbands brothers girlfriend to be bridemaid at the same time as every other family member (it wasnt an after thought) so that she would not be the only close family member who would be sitting with people she doesnt know,she was delighted as she would feel awkward by herself,We had a great day altogether and had all neices and nephews involved in wedding which added to the fun….hes my dilema…my brother in law and fiance are getting married now and have my husband as bestman and basically every member of her family and his family in bridal party even down to my sister in laws short term boyfriend…and are leaving me out completely…its not actually the fact of being a bridemaid thats hurtful here its the fact that im being seated with randomers on her side of the family oh but i will have the company of all the children as someone will be needed to babysit…my husband is very hurt about the blatant fact that his sister in law to be is quite simply leaving me out,she has even gone and asked a girl that she only knows 6 months to be one of her bridemaids???…i must say i completely feel like a blacksheep in this situation although myself and my husband are the ones that babysit their children and never miss birthdays etc and her own family dont even do as much as we do…
I really feel upset about this so much so that I really dont feel like even being at the wedding,if i was at logger heads with this person I would say thats fair enough but I’m not??
Would love to get another persons thoughts on this situation please.
Post # 3
I know you are hurt and that was not nice of her, but you should take the high road and go to the wedding, never mention it, and have a good time. However, just because you go, that does not obligate you to watch their children. They are grown ass adults and can watch their own children, it is not your responsibility. Go to the wedding and party it up like any other adult would.
Post # 4
Post # 6
Agree with the PPs. There is nothing you can do about her wedding party (though it would cause me to reflect on the relationship, and possibly change how I feel about them and what I would be willing to do for them).
But I would tell them the next time that they mention it, that you are not prepared to be their babysitter at the wedding, and that they will have to find other arragements to watch the children.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@tksjewelry: also agreed.
You’re at the wedding as a guest, not a babysitter. Maybe Darling Husband can suggest that they sit you at his table? I would never dream of putting the best man or MOH’s spouses at another table.
Post # 8
@rebwana: Yeah, I would insist that my husband sit with me. If he does, I probably wouldn’t mind being left out of the wedding party.
Post # 9
@andielovesj: I agree with this and also I agree with letting them know you want to sit with your husband (how would she like if she couldnt sit with hers??).
Post # 10
Sure you have a right to feel hurt but let it go. Who knows what is going on in that girls head or why she made that decision. I could see this happening to me because people know I would be helpful and secure and not care. That is what I’m guessing. Its not your day, who bleeding cares, you are married and your wedding was lovely. Go, be happy, be helpful, its one day, let it go.
Complain to us any time you want
Post # 11
I would NOT be babysitting other’s kids at the wedding and make that well known. That is just RUDE that they even expect that from you.
I sat alone at a wedding that my now fiance was a groomsman was in….I was kind of annoyed that I was sat with another groomsman’s short term gf, and another of the groomsman’s wife was sat with their family…..turns out she would’ve made a fuss if she was sat with randomers and they knew i would handle the situation well….so there was a method to the madness….I was always included in all the wedding stuff (showers, bachelorette parties, etc…..)
I would take the high road, not mention the seating arrangement, but I would refuse to babysit other’s kids…..do it nicely and suggest they hire someone to do this….
Post # 12
@tksjewelry: Absolutely agree.
I would be irritated too if I were you, but the fact is there really isn’t anything you can do about it, and you don’t want to seem like you’re causing trouble by mentioning it. I would go with your head held high and try to have the best time you can. And you definitely do not need to babysit other people’s children.