(Closed) Just a litte teeny vent!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No! Have who you want, she should not be so presumptuous. Don’t ask anyone out of guilt/obligation.

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

One of my friends asked me if she could be a bm and then didn’t talk to me for months. I vote that it doesn’t count. I would just politely tell her that you can only choose X amount of people, and you already asked X, X, and X (and so on, lol). I think including her might mean you’re including a lot of very serious drama (and illegal activities) in your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think you can be held to that promise. She might be mad in the beginning, but just remind her that, with a new baby, she’s going to be really busy and you’d rather have her just enjoy your wedding as a guest instead of running around helping.

Post # 6
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No, you don’t have to honor an old promise of that kind. People grow apart, there are lots of girls I would have asked if I had gotten married 10 years ago that are now not being asked.

Post # 7
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I was standing in a girl’s wedding. (my FI’s cousin’s) I was with them talking their engagement photos and her bridals b/c they were taking them on the same day and they were in my town and I was the Bridesmaid or Best Man who lived in that city. Well we told the photographer that I was getting married soon and he asked if she was going to be in my wedding….akward. I had no plans for her to be in my wedding. I just told her that, to her face, in front of her Fiance, my FI’s cousin. I am having 7 Bm’s, I don’t need one more, besides the fact that I really didn’t know why I was in her wedding, we really weren’t close. Moral. Be honest.

Post # 8
Member
11 posts
Newbee

You’re so sweet to even ask! It’s an awkward situation, but you definitely should not feel compelled to include her. Maybe give her a different task (guest book, anyone?) to make her feel special. Or maybe even play it off by replying “Yes, I’d LOVE for you daughter to me my flower girl! We’ll go dress shopping soon!” 😉

Post # 9
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That is tricky.  It’s awkward, but I don’t think you should feel obligated. 

Post # 10
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

NO! You need people that you cant count on and that you want to be there standing by your side. Not a middle school friend bc of a promise made years ago. I think its honorable that you are considering this to keep your promise but I dont think that you would end up being happy with that decision. I know its awkward.. but you will get through it. And I agree. Guestbook 🙂

Post # 12
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Just don’t. I courtesy invited a friend to be in the bridal party (I was her Maid/Matron of Honor, fiance was the Bestman for her wedding), but I really wish I hadn’t, and she is starting to say hurtful things to me.

Post # 13
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think other Bees have made it very clear, but I agree – invite who you want to invite to be in your bridal party and leave it at that. One of my best friends got married in 2009 and included an estranged friend as her Maid/Matron of Honor because they had made the same promise you and your friend made. That Maid/Matron of Honor also got married a few months later and – surprise surprise – did NOT ask my friend to be her Maid/Matron of Honor. My friend still regrets the decision she made b/c she told me she would have asked me to be Maid/Matron of Honor, and in her heart I was her Maid/Matron of Honor. Regret sucks.

So avoid regret now!

Post # 15
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

If you gets mad over a promise from so many years ago then that validates even more why she shouldn’t be in your wedding.

The topic ‘Just a litte teeny vent!’ is closed to new replies.

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