(Closed) Just a little bummed, wedding dates…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is a lame situation… so sorry

I would do it in January. Is anyone really going to make a fuss about you getting married before them?

Post # 4
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

ugh thats craptastic.  at least it is only the date though, and you are getting a proposal soooo soon!

Post # 5
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I feel this. My best friend got engaged a week before me – even though I knew Fiance had the ring, and we’d picked a date.

She then announces she chose March 3. We had picked March 31. I know it’s a different situation, but we will be in eachother’s weddings, have a lot of mutual friends and even family.

Since we wanted to avoid the same months, we moved ours to Feb 4. I’m not sure how she feels about ours being “first,” but I would like to think it doesn’t matter? There’s nothing that says you have to be engaged the same amount of time.

Why not January or early March? I do love your date – couldn’t use it bc it’s FI’s grandma’s bday. lol. But, it’s just a date, right?

Post # 6
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

What do you have planned?  If it comes to the point that you’ve put down deposits and stuff, you might have to have your SO come clean to his sister that you guys have been planning on the down low.

Even if not, I might have him mention that you guys were thinking of February to her.  Maybe she doesn’t really have her heart set on it and will be happy to make a change.

Post # 7
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

That sux!  Why don’t you chat with the other couple after you’re “officially” engaged and see how they would feel about you being married prior to them?  I had a friend/co-worker get engaged after me and married a month prior to us and I didn’t have a problem with it.  Try not to get “worked up” until you communicate with them.  Okeedokee?!  Wink

Post # 8
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

OP, have you SO wait until march first to proposal (you’ll have a wonderful month all to yourself with no distractions). Then tell the other couple that you have always wanted a short engaged, and then shoot for a Jan wedding 🙂 January is a beautiful month of weddings. <3

Post # 10
347 posts
Helper bee

Hmmm…if his sis is definitely set on February, and you don’t mind January, can you change it to then?  That totally sucks though.  I love your wedding date b/c it’s my bday and I just think February is a great month for a winter wedding.  I do understand why you wouldn’t want it in December.  Do you have any idea when she will set a definite date in February?

Post # 12
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You say you’re in Canada, what about November? Where I’m from, we have snow starting in October, just enough to make it feel wintery enough!

Post # 14
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with melisslp – wait till you’re actually engaged and then discuss it with them if it still bothers you then. You may see it one way, but his sister/other people may see it  as you making a big deal when you’re not engaged yet. 

Do they know he’s proposing this month, and do they consider you officially engaged? If not, and they pick their date, I don’t know if you can do anything about it.  You may be upset about it, but again, to her, if there’s hard feelings or things get complicated, she may be upset also since she became engaged firs and views that as the determining factor rather than who’s been planning what sans engagement the longest.

Who knows-maybe she’ll pick a completely different month and you won’t have to worry about it!

Post # 15
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would discreetly talk to Fi’s sister about the dilemma. And then go from there and try to figure something out.

Post # 16
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

This a difficult situation and I am so sorry that your dream date might not be workable. My husband and I were thinking about getting married on 2/14 since it is my b-day and our anniversary, but EVERYTHING costs nearly twice as much the week surrounding Valentine’s day. Vendors quoted us different prices, flowers were 2 or 3 times more expensive, travel/airfare costs were 20% higher, hotels in the area raised room rates by at lease 25%, etc. Needless to say, we changed our wedding date. (Also, thinking about the future: any time we would want to celebrate our anniversary (weekend getaway) everything would cost more simply because we were married on Valentine’s day.)

Do you feel comfortable enough to talk to his sister before you set the wedding date? You could ask her if having your wedding in January would upset her? Otherwise, I’m not sure where you are in Canada, but I was in Ontario last year at the end of March and it was still VERY VERY WINTERY! 😉 Good luck and I hope everything works out!

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