Post # 1
I was on Pinterest today, and I found this bullshit board called Men on Modesty. I won’t go into the details but suffice to say that I was not pleased. I thought about leaving an agry comment but decided to come here and rant instead.
See, I hate the idea of modesty and I hate the idea that men would think it’s their place to lecture women about it even more. Modesty isn’t really about necklines or skirt lengs: it’s about telling someone that if they don’t comply with your view of how they should be then something bad is going to happen to them.
Women don’t have to dresss revealingly if they don’t want to but its their prerogative to so and part of us being equal to men is that we don’t have to be judged by others for it. Labelling a girl in a short skirt at a club a ‘slut’ is actually really harmful. Slut shaming leads to victim blaming. No girl should have to face seeing her rapist walk free because people decided she ‘wanted it’ because she was wearing a tight dres and heels, or that it doesn’t matter because she’s ‘just a slut’. That’s disgusting and it has to stop.
And no, modesty is not about self respect. Because guess what? I can dress revealingly and respect myself just like men can. Self respect is about not letting men get away with sticking a label on me because they’re small minded, or letting them decide not to treat me properly because my hemline is above my fingertips.
I don’t have to cover myself up in order to earn somebody’s respect becuase I am a person and therefore worthy of that respect regardless of my dress sense. I don’t have to dress a certain way in order to make men love me because I am not an object and shouldn’t be treated like one.
If modesty is truly about respect then here’s an idea. Why don’t we treat ourselves with respect by dressing how we like without fear we’ll be judged for it? Why don’t we resect others by reminding ourselves that it’s none of our business and if a woman gets hurt or raped then it doesn’t matter what she was wearing/doing because it was all the fault of the rapist.
And just uuuuuuuugh €,*~¥>[email protected]&£&!!!!?!!!??!
Post # 3
I completely agree with you!! I grew up in a super religious family and got this lecture about keep men’s heart pure by not dressing immodestly!! To me it never made any sense, I kept thinking how could it be my fault if some guy had not so good thoughts….no matter how I dressed! Ugh drives me crazy to think that people push things like this!
Post # 4
Absolutely agree. People like to pull out the “modesty” card in cases of sexual assault/harassment, but excuse you – grandmothers in high-necked flannel nightgowns get raped, too. Men need to learn to control THEMSELVES. The idea that women should have to dress a certain way to keep men from going crazy does a huge disservice to MEN – it’s implying that they’re nothing but slop-brained morons who can’t control their thoughts or actions.
Post # 5
Omg please share the link. I’m intrigued.
Post # 7
I agree with you 100%. With viewpoints like those, how are we ever going to achieve equality?
Post # 10
I have no problem with someone dressing “immodestly” if it has to do with their sense of style. However, it IS sad to see people dress in a fashion that elicits attention due to low self-esteem or an attention-grabby nature.
Post # 12
@phillybride61513: It was Guys on Modesty, not men. But here is the link to the pinterest and another to their blog which is somehow even worse. Sharpen your pitchforks, bees!
Post # 13
@rubybride718: Yeah but I never got this thing about girls dressing in a revealing way due to ‘low self esteem’. I had bad self esteem issues as a teenager and I can tell you that I dressed as nondescriptly as possible because when you’re in that place, all you can think is ‘don’t look at me!’ not ‘objectify me!’. You feel so badly about yourself and the last thing you want is for people to notice you like they do when you wear revealing or attention-seeking clothes.
People of all genders who rely on their looks and the opinions of others for self worth definitely have problems, but I don’t think it’s as much to do with low self esteem as people think.
I do agree that it’s sad though and it’s even sadder that society sends out these messages to girls that they need to look and dress a certain way to be considered desirable, and then berates them for being whores. Ugh.
Post # 14
@BridieBea: What.the.heck. How is this even a real thing?!??
“Modesty: a way of living that women aspire to be” ??? Did you look at their other boards? “Swimming modestly”!!!
Ok, I could understand this if it were coming from women (sort of) – but a bunch of MEN sitting around telling women how to be more modest?? Shut up!!
Post # 15
I looked at the board for a about 5 seconds and my blood pressure is WAY up, grr!!
Post # 16
Yeesh. I dress pretty modestly because that’s what’s comfortable for me, but a bunch of guys saying how girls should dress and act is really annoying.