(Closed) Just a little rant about modesty…

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 17
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OMG I am fuming right now!!!!!! what a ridiculous board on pinterest!!

Post # 19
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

How unbelievably ridiculous and not to mention hypocritical.

Those same men preaching that “modesty” bs are also the ones with Playboy magazines hidden under their beds…

Post # 20
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Haha, wow. This is ridiculous.

The one that got me was, “Safe sex? The answer doesn’t come from birth control and condoms. Try a wedding ring.”

I can’t even.

Post # 21
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

WOW im just shocked I couldnt believe what i was reading like are you friggan kidding me!!

Post # 22
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Amen, sister. 

Post # 23
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t know. The grammys outfits that didn’t follow the venue request really did look like the women who wore them lacked self-respect, and believed the only way for a women to get paid attention to in 2013 is to waggle her sexy bits around. It saddened me as a woman.

 Not because I envied J Lo.’s leg (nothing wrong with it physically), rather because it upset me that she felt she needed to bare it like that to get attention. And I guess if she had an uglier leg then she’d have to “hide” her “wrong” leg and feel shameful as less valuable as a person since she didn’t have a nice drumstick to put on display for an audience she apparently assumes is full of nothing but drooling wolves (yet she still wants to appeal to that audience).

Maybe I’m biased because I have never felt my power lay within my cleavage or bare thigh, and have tended to always err toward modest dressing…I also have reasonably good self-respect and community respect, and I received 4 marriage proposals (accepted the 4th man), so it seems that men’s attention to my womanly qualities was not very diminished by it either.

I do believe dressing too revealing diminishes a woman’s worth in her own eyes and in others and I will be a very assertive mother regarding what my daughter wears.

And in case you’re thinking I mean I think it best to dress extremely dowdy like only mid-calf skirts or something, I most certainly do not. I believe women can be elegant, stylish, feminine and very womanly and alluring (if they prefer), without making fashion choices that could risk them being mistaken for selling sex.

Post # 24
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@BridieBea:  Seriously. Those modest swimsuits?  Right up my alley. But a bunch of guys telling me that’s what I should be wearing?  Now makes them creepy. 

Post # 26
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

@BridieBea:  That isn’t what I wrote at all. Please read it again.

Post # 27
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Reminds me of a blog I read earlier today. The post itself touches on modesty, but the comments are where the primary debate goes on. It’s a lot of religious people arguing the same thing–namely, why is it the woman’s fault that a man can’t be controlled, and if he is the weaker party, why should women be covered and chaperoned in patriarchal societies? Why not the other way around?

That would be like forcing every homeowner to get 20-ft electrical fences erected around their houses because burglars just can’t help themselves.

Post # 28
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

@EffieTrinket:  But in our society, men are wearing baggy shorts almost down to their knees at the beach with their sisters wearing bikinis made of 1/20th as much fabric….

They are wearing suits that cover everything but their heads, necks and hands, to awards shows, while accompanying their female counterpart whose entire bottom of her breasts is hanging out (and she’s not an A cup, so there’s no way that’s the most comfortable outfit for her).

The men do not cut alluring peekaboo holes in these outfits etiher.

It seems the men do not view that their power mainly comes from putting their bodies physically on visual offer.

I don’t think it’s because they fear women will rape them if they dressed more revealingly.

Post # 29
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@BridieBea:  i completely agree. 

@joya_aspera:  i believe that’s exactly what you wrote when you wrote “I do believe dressing too revealing diminishes a woman’s worth in her own eyes and in others”. as far as m concerned, any rationalization about why you feel that way is irrelevant because that’s the core of the argument. 

Post # 30
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@joya_aspera:  True, but  WHY a woman should or should not choose to dress revealingly is a completely different argument than whether or not she should be able to. I’m simply arguing that she should have the choice, and shouldn’t be discouraged from doing so to appease the Rape Monster.

ETA: I am a very modest dresser. I won’t wear anything shorter than my fingertips outside the house, and I get self-conscious showing even a little bit of my B-cup cleavage. But that was my choice, and I don’t want to push that on someone else any more than I want someone telling me “Girl, why don’t you show a little more of that ass?”

Post # 31
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

@Jellybones:  Yes, it signifies that she is an object. But she is not an object, she is a subject. I am upset when I see women objectify themselves and we call this empowering, where it is actually very obviously disempowering.

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