- 7 years ago
So my SO and I had a fabulous Valentine’s Day. He got us a room at a casino (Foxwoods, for any New England gals…) and set up the room beautifully with roses, candles, teddy bear, chocolates, champagne…it was gorgeous. Then we went out to dinner to an amazing steak house. Fabulous.
Well, this Bee started drinking a little too much. I had been planning on giving him a little extra fun V-Day lovin when we got back to the room and figured a couple extra drinks would loosen my inhibitions even more. Well, the drinks certainly loosened my mouth.
I had gotten a couple “OMG! I’m engaged!!!!!” texts while we were at a bar. One by a 22 yr old employee of mine (I’m 27) and another from my good friend who has been dating her Boyfriend or Best Friend for a yr. Texts + Valentines day + Booze = Meltdown Trifecta.
By the time we got to our room, I was drunk. No kidding aside. He asked me what was wrong and I spilled the beans. I remember the phrase “Why don’t you want to marry me?” and him explaining that it’s not that he doesnt want to, but he’s just worried about money. He doesn’t have the money for a ring and wants to be more financially independant before we get married (We have great jobs, but also have a high rent payment, kids and bills, and he has a bankruptcy under his belt.) Very understandable. I remember explaining that it’s not about the ring, but about the committment.
When I woke up the next morning I felt like such a shitbag. He had planned this wonderful night for me and I ended it with a meltdown. I had to leave before him so I wrote him this nice letter saying that I love him very much, I’m sorry that the conversation had to happen like that, and I’ll always love him regardless of how much or how little $$ he has- that we are partners regardless. He called me and thanked me for the nice note when he woke up.
When I got home later, I emailed him a Moissanite ring that I really liked and said “I love you. I think this may be a better option for us…Ring or no ring, I’ll always love you and want to be your wife. Now you know what I like and now I will shut up. Thanks for being amazing 🙂 “
Having this chat over a nice calm dinner at home would have been a much better option but I’m glad that we did chat about it…I know he saw the email and he was his wonderful happy self even after he saw it. It’s great knowing that none of this has anything to do with any hesitances about ME. Hopefully I’ve helped remove the financial worries from the equation. So now the REAL waiting begins…