(Closed) Just a Little Warning…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Confused about the car thing…he can’t really make her transfer the loan to her name, does she need the car or something? Unfortunately, that’s pretty standard with the apartment thing. Is it just his name on the lease? Did she put money into the deposit? If they were renting it together he can’t really make her leave that either. If she never put her name on any of the lease info, well…that wasn’t very smart and technically the apartment is his.

Post # 4
326 posts
Helper bee

ren89:  I would really hope that these things are common sense? Apparently not for everyone. If you use assets that you don’t technically own, than of course they can be taken away at the drop of a hat.

Even as a married woman, I still require my name to be on ALL assets in which I financially contribute, at the very least. So, I don’t think it’s and engagement vs. marriage thing as much as it is a common sense thing.

Post # 5
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

Id drive the car to a remote place and tell him he can go find it?!.. unfortunately she cant do anything about the unit.. unless he threatens her and she goes to the police for protection from this person?..

She doesnt have to sign the car over..!! but she will need to find a new lace to live, tell her to take anything and everything of value she can?!

Post # 6
45536 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ren89:  She may have gotten off lucky by not having the apartment or car in her name. She likely can’t afford the rent on her own and would have to default on the lease, if they have one. Much easier for her to find a place she can afford on her own, or move in with someone else temporarily. Ditto with the car. Would she be able to afford car payments and the rent on the apartment? This way there is absolutely no negative effect on her credit.

If she really needs a vehicle, and can’t take transit where she lives,  she can get a beater for a few hundred dollars to last her until she can afford better.

Post # 9
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t see why it would be fair that he deal with the car any other way. If she wants to keep the car, she should absolutely have to put the loan and insurance in her name. If not, he gets it.

In terms of the apartment, I agree with pp…she should have been put on the lease. 

It totally sucks when things go down this way, but it’s not about “engagements being less permanent than marriage”…you could just as easily have everything taken by your spouse. The point is to protect yourself period.

Post # 11
2914 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

ren89: I’m not sure as to how she’s getting the short end of the stick here, unless it’s a rent controlled apartment?

For the car thing, if she couldn’t afford the car herself (and she couldn’t since she needed his credit for the car loan) then he put his credit on the line to help her out. She’s benefiting from his generosity. 

Breakups suck. The lesson here is to make sure you can take care of yourself if anything happens to your partner. Good luck to your friend — she’s lucky to have friends like you. 

Post # 13
2914 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

ren89: appreciate the PSA. Sounds like the real lesson is to live within one’s means.

Post # 15
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Hindsight is 20/20, but she should not have put herself in that position. This guy was not exactly Mr. Reliable to begin with! Breaking up and making up with an engagement, ugh!!! I do feel bad for her, and I absolutely said a prayer, but I hope she NEVER does this again. 

You are correct that it is not the best idea to rely so fully on someone who is not a spouse. Even then, there are precautions that need to be taken. 

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