(Closed) just a random odd thing we experienced today involving FMIL

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would actually be super p!$$ed that she felt the need to have a sit down and tell your fiance when it is appropriate to have a baby!! That (for us) is not a topic that is up for discussion for anyone except us. Ever. Your fiance might need to talk with his mom about appropriate boundaries – because I think that is so inappropriate that it isn’t even funny.

Post # 4
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Wouldn’t it be funny if you two decided to try right away anyway?  Then she’d just be all miffed!  It’s really NONE of her business when you have a baby and besides, you’re never ready for a baby, even when your career is in full bloom!  What an odd thing to even discuss!!

Post # 6
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just told my FH this, and told him that if one of our parents ever tried to pull this, I would tell them that they have no need to be involved with a child that they do not approve of. I would hope that would prompt them to keep their mouths shut!

Post # 9
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

You need to tell your Fiance that from now on anything about babies/your body/fertility is not subject for discussion! Sorry I just get reved up about this as my Future Mother-In-Law did something similar. She grilled my Fiance about my BC and stuff and started giving advice. I sat him down real fast and told him it wasn’t up for discussion. He kept saying she was just trying to be helpful and he didn’t understand since I will discuss that with my friends. I told him 1) BC has changed A LOT in 30+ years since his mom had any experience with it and 2) what I decide to talk about with my friends is MY business, and I asked if he wanted me to discuss his penis with my mom. He still didn’t fully get it, but now respects my privacy. Nip this NOW! It will get worse, trust me!

Post # 10
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Damn, you’re super cool! There’s no way I’d be as composed as you are if his Mom were to say something like that! Seriously, I’d be like, WTF is it her problem when it’s OUR lives! Man, I think I’d have to be talked out of not talking to her myself. Seriously, you’re such the better person for letting this just slide off you!

Edit: I’m to you’re … lol what was I thinking

Post # 11
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That is funny….my FI’s mom did the exact same thing!!! However, FI’s dad was visiting once and took ME to lunch and explained how excited he was for us to have kids and become a grandfather…I said,”you know you’re wife is thinking the opposite way and told us to wait 5 years” He said, “Agh! Whatever, do you what you want, but you don’t have to wait because she said so!” HAHA I thought it was funny!

Post # 12
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Anthony’s Fine Dining

Yikes!  Yes, you are definitely justified in being upset!  I’m just glad that you heard it through him instead of directly from her…I don’t know what’d I’d do if my Future Mother-In-Law said that to me.  Diplomacy would probably be out the window.

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yuck, i hate when people think my uterus is their business =(

Totally none of anyone else’s business!

Post # 14
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

hahaha. my Future Father-In-Law is the exact opposite! in fact – when he FIRST met me, he asked when I was gonna give him a grandchild – and we weren’t even engaged yet! shoot, we’d only been dating less than a year at that time!

they mean well – but some people just don’t know when it’s NOT their place to speak about certain things. sorta reminds me, though, of my great-aunt kay. Her and my great-uncle bob never had children (and honestly died millionaires because of it…) but I was always told that they never had children because my g-uncle bob’s mother asked them not to have them so they didn’t.

anywhoo. I think i’d be a little mad too.

Post # 16
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you need to rehearse a very calm response to her bringing this up again.  That way when it DOES come up, you will be very poised and calm, and you’ll be able to tell her EXACTLY what you intend to without getting emotional about it.  The best offense is a good defense!  Plus if it happens in front of your Fiance you’ll get triple points for not jabbing her eyes out of her sockets, stomping on them while yelling “It’s NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS. WITCH!!!”  (Ok, that last part was a fantasy I had once, but you get the idea…)

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