Post # 1
I’m an engaged bee. I came to the hive when I first started planning my wedding to get tips and DIY projects. I’ve been sucked into many of the comment-wars and some of the crazy troll threads, but this is just part of where my wedding-planning-brain-sector is.
I think we engaged (and married) bees need to be mindful of how we respond to waiting bees. It’s not really fair because we’ve got the one thing they’re waiting for, and we can’t really relate to some of the venting posts unless our previous situations were very similar… to be honest, I think we’re coming off as preachy.
When a married bee or a seasoned DIY’er tells me to rein it in, I’m trying to do too much, etc., I take it with a grain of salt because I came here looking for that, and they’re just trying to help. When we give waiting bees advice on their relationship, 90% of the time, they’re going to be defensive. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong… when I first got here, I honestly thought you had to be a waiting bee to respond to waiting bees.
Does any of this make sense?
Post # 3
@MrsLongcoatPeacoat: makes sense to me (and I’m wondering if this has anything to do with another popular 4-page-long questionable post….).
Some of us have been lucky to have NEVER had to deal with the “will he propose?” type thing. While others have been in the “when in the HELL can I plan my wedding?!?!?!?” position. (errrr…. am I the only one who was in that position??? hmmmm…).
I DO know a friend (gonna be a BM) who is in a “waiting” position and a lot of what she says is, not surprisingly, VERY similiar to what I read here!!!! It’s really hard to know what goes on in someone’s life over the internet when they only post part of the story (or, to be more accurate, ONE SIDE of the story).
Knowing her and their situation a lot better, I’m more able to talk to her and tell her where she’s right and wrong without coming off like the common five-letter word that rhymes with “witch”. 😉 (We’ve also talked to our friend’s OTHER best bud so we can stage an intervention between the pair. So far, it isn’t needed! YAY!)
….I’m rambling aren’t I? anywhos, totally agree with you…. though sometimes, I must admit, some of the girls DO need some sense knocked into them. Sometimes.
Post # 4
I think , as for all posts, it depends on how the waiting bee phrases their post. If they are asking for advice, then they are going to get it. All responses will not be what they want to hear. That’s life.
If you don’t want differing opinions, don’t ask for advice on the net. If you only want to hear back from waiting bees then include that in your post.
Post # 5
I partly agree.
But really.. some of the waiting bees on here seriously need the blunt reality check given by the other bees.
Post # 6
If someone asks for opinions then thats what they will get.
Post # 7
I have tried to stay away from the waiting boards, i feel that i dont really have anything to offer them, and i know and have commented on the thread that Ryna suggested, or at least i think i know what one she is talking about. I commented on this for different reasons.
I think that by reading those boards, would admittedly tend to be snarky, so i stay away
Post # 8
If you put it on a board for people to respond with their personal opinions, then that’s exactly what you will get, is their personal opinions. I tell it how I see it, and I want others to tell me how they see it.
Post # 9
These are all very good points; thanks guys! I get sucked in because I read posts by just going to Boards and then reading through stuff that looks interesting.
Post # 10
As someone who IS a waiting bee—some of the waiting posts are downright pitiful. I agree with Gingersnap–some reality checks are desperately needed.
Post # 11
I’m engaged and I just stay away from reading the waiting threads. I like reading about dresses and reception ideas and centerpieces. But I don’t have much patience for someone asking a bunch of strangers if their boyfriend’s behavior = proposal soon. Or for talk about deadlines and ultimatums or how they work so hard not to even bring up the topic.
Post # 12
While I think it’s important to be civil, if you post a question that has crazy written all over it you should be able to handle the responses.
Post # 13
@maureen9004: *snicker*…..*snort*….*giggle*. LOVE! Though, most people who are “crazy”, really can’t stand to have reality thrown into their face.
I agree you other ladies, though. If they’re gonna post on an online forum, they’d better expect the good, bad, and ugly. (not that they’re gonna agree, but oh, well.)
Post # 14
Yeah, I was a waiting bee once too so I get that it’s hard and I understand the emotional toll it takes. But some of these posts are just cray cray, shoot not even just in the waiting board. Some of the posts across the board are just mind boggling. If you ask please be prepared for people to give their opinion. I agree that sometimes people could be nicer though…
Post # 15
I came onto this site when I was a waiting bee, I’m now engaged. Most of the time I came here to vent. I couldn’t control how I felt (which was miserable) and I didn’t have an outlet for of these crazy ass feelings I was having. It was helpful for me to let it out on the waiting boards where I knew other women could understand my frustration and relate.
If you’ve never waited for a proposal you won’t really know what it’s like to be waiting. It would be like me jumping onto the babies board and telling all the ladies who are TTC to chillax. I’ve never been in that situation, so I don’t know how difficult that might be. If you don’t know how to it feels, it might just be better to not say anything at all. I usually just don’t post on threads where my opinion might not be useful… It’s worked for me so far!
Anyways, that’s my 2 cents, from a former waiting bee. 🙂
Post # 16
I try to stay off the waiting board as well. As someone who never waited, I see some of the posts and want to give that blunt reality check, but don’t feel it is my place since I have never been through it.
However, I understand where people come from. You are putting it all out there and want opinions or advice and everyone is going to give it from one end of the spectrum to the other. If you post on a board like this, you should expect to get all kinds of answers from all kinds of people, but that doesn’t mean every post should be taken to heart. We are all anonymous. If a response or post bugs you, ignore it.
All I’m saying is you should expect the good and the bad with the board, there are many different personalities and someone is bound to say something that another person won’t like.