(Closed) Just a vent: DH is constantly working

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@iheartnerds: Girl…. YES.  Like yours, mine is in IT too.  He’s the director of the NYC branch of his office and he’s ALWAYS connected to his e-mail and phone.  He sometimes gets emergency calls at like 4am in the morning for when the servers in the other branches are down and has to walk them through these emergencies.  When we vacationed in Barbados, he had to check his e-mail and get on the phone.. I was like wth..!  He complains constantly about working for corporate.  Does yours?

Oh and here’s a clincher.. my FH had to miss my SISTER’s wedding 2 wks ago because the hurricane destroyed so much around here and he had to be available for when power came back on…. sigh

Post # 4
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can sort of relate. It is hunting season. So until December 8th I will see very little of my husband. It always makes me sad. But I try not to let it show.

Post # 7
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes, My Fi consults and builds different companies security systems and he does have some clients he does other it stuff for. That means he can work anywhere anytime, and because he has clients on both coast he often does.

Although I have a bit of workholic problem myself so I tend to pull my laptop and work too!

But I have a work hard, play harder mentality. So after my busy periods we both try to decompress, and I do get pissed because He Never Ever turns off his phone. When we go on vacation he will pay for a international roaming and data. Drives me crazy.

We worked out that he checks the phone a few times, and at dinner or an excurision he completely turns it off(so I don’t break the freaking thingYell).

Be glad it will be over soon. In the meantime even if it’s one hour at dinner, or a tv show, your Dh needs to make some time for you.

Post # 8
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Oh man, I feel you. We should start a club Laughing My SO worked in investment banking for 2 years and is now working in another job in finance… We hoped that this would be less hours but its still 12-16 hours a day, plus weekends. Even vacations are working vacations. I wish I had advice for you. But basically, it sucks. I empathize with you. Hope his schedule clears up soon!

Post # 9
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My FH works at a major company here in Washington, and is a software developer. We’ve only been here for a few weeks, and he immediately started working 10-12 hour days. Now that I don’t have any friends around, and I’m not doing anything, I feel upset with the amount of hours he works. 

These kind of jobs are a big deal, because the functioning of a website is solely in their hands — and working for a major company that thousands of people use on a daily basis, there is no room for error, and no time to say “this can wait.”

I can definitely relate.

Post # 10
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yup I see Dh two days a week 🙁

Post # 11
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

I’m one of those people who is constantly working. I feel really bad about it, but my situation is a weird mix of my own work ethic, and the fact that I’m a consultant and I have to abide by the work expectations of both my company, and my clients. At the current moment, neither my boss nor my clients employees seem to have lives, so that means I work constantly.

 

I hate it, but it is the nature of what I do. I know it bothers my SO… and I try to disconnect when I’m supposed to (on vacation, etc) but I can’t because I know if I miss an email, etc I will hear about it and possibly have to defend myself to my client. It’s one of the reasons I’m getting out of consulting– being driven like a slave by people who just assume you have nothing better to do, sucks.

Post # 12
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When the long hours make you sad, think about military wives that have to go 9 months to a year without seeing their hubbs. Don’t mean to sound harsh when I say that, but it’s something I remind myself of to. Hubbs works long hours sometimes but I am glad he’s not deployed right now.

Post # 13
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I hear you!! Fiance is always working.  It used to bother me alot but now I just do my own thing.  I hate being home without him so I just study at a coffee shop or have dinner with girlfriends.  I miss him… at least you can see that it should be over soon!

Post # 14
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel you, ladies!!

My husband is a hockey referee and I’m a teacher.  We both work over 40 hours a week.  I work during the day…he works days, evenings, and weekends.  I see him an hour here, an hour there.  I literally have to force him to take time off to spend time together!!  

Luckily, the hockey season is not 12 months of the year…but it’s close to it!

 

Post # 15
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@roweboat:  Oh, good point! I remind myself of this too, somethimes it helps, sometimes…. less so. But only when I am feeling really bratty Innocent

Post # 16
Member
2448 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I can relate. When my Fiance gets on a film/tv show, it’s pretty much over in terms of seeing him. He will be on set at 5am and come home at 11pm and those are the good hours! The worst are days when there is little turnaround…he’s actually gotten pulled over for driving erratically because he was so exhausted and the police made a bet on whether he was drunk. :/ 

It’s tough in his line of work, but I’m pretty independent and I just made do with the time we do have together. And his paycheck ain’t bad either. Wink

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