- 8 years ago
I am a control freak. I plan out every little detail of everything. Waiting for SO to design and buy a ring AND propose is torture. He knows this and says, “It my last tiny bit of control!” And that’s fine…I’m trying to accept that. But to me, it’s a huge giant thing I have no control over. Except that I do have control over it in lots of ways and I’m not sure if that’s helping or hurting my impatience. I’m feeling very good about our relationship right now. He’s always wanted to get me a big diamond ring, no matter what I told him about not ‘needing’ one and even seemed uncomfortable with the idea of a plain band for now. I think it was man pride. For a number of reasons, I’ve fallen out of love with diamonds. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have a giant sparkly diamond on my finger, but I’ve learned things about diamonds and the diamond market and for a number of personal and political reasons, I realized that I’m not comfortable with him purchasing or me wearing a large, high-priced diamond…even the Canadian conflict-free kind. I told SO about my thoughts and he whole-heartedly supported my decision to have a white sapphire instead. He knows what setting I want and he knows where the sapphires I love are. He knows he’ll have to either buy each piece separately and have it set by a third party, or have it custom-made. He knows that the sapphire company is headquartered in NYC and we can visit next week when we’re there…..and see them in person! I don’t know if this will happen…it’s up to him and this is where my lack of control drives me nuts. I want to see the pretties! We both agreed that we could get engaged ‘soon’ because my non-diamond stone is much more affordable and would allow us our long engagement/saving time. Honestly, he could buy the stone and setting right now and we both know it. Which has me more than antsy. I’m sitting at work thinking, “I wonder if he’s looking at them right now.” And, “maybe he’ll surprise me and take me to that place next week!” We had this conversation two days ago. TWO. But still, I’m thinking about our upcoming vacation and thinking, “maybe we’ll get engaged!” It’s so unlikely! Not impossible. But really unlikely. I know I’m at the point where the ball is in his court and I just have to wait. He knew exactly what diamond I wanted so when I switched to sapphire, I had to explain in detail. I made him an account online so that I could save my favorite stones but told him to switch his user name and password so I couldn’t see it after I’d saved my favorite stones and told him I’d be happy with any of them or any like them in the future. (This isn’t weird for us, he’s always wanted to make sure I like what I’m getting. Usually he’ll ask me for a handful of my favorite items for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary and he’ll pick his favorite from my list.) So really, it’s all in his hands and I know I just have to ‘wait.’ Just wait. Wait wait wait. And try not to flip out about having zero control over this huge thing. I think I’m doing okay it’s just that…well…knowing that it could be a lot, lot sooner than I’d thought has me giddy!