- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
So, yesterday in a meeting I said something to my “boss” I shouldn’t have. (As a real estate broker, I am technically self-employed, but this guy runs the office I do my work from.) It was very early in the morning and I was a little peevy to begin with. He told me to smile, and I said, “You know what? If you want to piss off a woman, tell her to smile.” He has said the same thing to me in the last meeting, so I was ready to burst when he said it again. Some people may not understand my outburst, but there are a lot of men who seem to think it is up to them that women should be smiling/happy 24/7. It creeps me out (especially due to some past experiences at my last job- creepy customer who always insisted I smile), and I just plain think it’s a really stupid thing to say to someone.
I regret what I said to him, and the “public” manner in which it ocurred. Later, when I was in his office for something, he said he didn’t mean to upset me. I don’t remember the exact phrasing of what I said, (whether or not I said sorry) but I explained it was a pet peeve of mine. I left the office on good terms, etc and figured the whole thing would just be dropped and we would move on like it never happened (except I’m going to try to be much more polite. I was PMS-ing but that’s not really an excuse).
Anyway, one of my coworkers comes into my office this morning and asks if I have some time to talk. I agree, and she closes the door. She says she wants to give me some advice on how to make my life easier here (I’ve only been in this office about 10 months), and proceeds to tell me that when I get mad at someone I should talk to them about it privately, and she gave examples of phrasing what I said to the boss in a calm way, and she says that an apology would go a long way in this case. I told her I talked to the boss about it yesterday, and she repeats herself that I need to apologize. This little lecture goes on for about 5 minutes.
I understand that she was probably trying to be nice/helpful. But this really rubbed me the wrong way. She’s not clueless. She’s got some kids that are near my age, and it felt like a mother’s lecture rather than a coworker actually trying to help. I really feel that it’s none of her business. The way she was talking to me, it sounded like she had the details of my conversation with the boss (and it sounds like I didn’t apologize). If she thinks this stuff should be so private, why does she know the deets of my conversation with the boss?
I’m pretty aggrivated right now, both about her lecture and that the boss seemingly shared this conversation with her. At this point I’d rather just drop the whole issue and not go find my boss to apologize (again? maybe?) for what I said. I think it would be better not to dig it up. Like I said, I do regret it, and I’d like to just move on.
Just had to vent my feelings about being mothered at the office! I’m the youngest person here, and I think it can hinder my business from time to time, so that was a sore spot for me as well.