Post # 1
So here’s my little dilemma.
A and I have been friends going on 14 years now, ever since we were 8. We were best friends. We even have the tattoos to prove it. Lol.
We’ve grown distant in the last few years, but she’s still someone I count dear to my heart.
She got married a few years back… and I wasn’t invited. Granted it was a courthouse wedding but seriously, I found out about it a few days before it happened on Facebook!
I love her but I’m not even sure I want her in my bridal party. Its just not that kind of friendship anymore. But even to this day she talks about being my Maid/Matron of Honor. But someone I met in high school will eventually be filling that role. This person, H, is like my other half. I couldn’t imagine her not being right by my side.
I don’t want to hurt her feelings or break ties, but it really matters to me that people are up there for me, not because they feel entitled to it.
Post # 4
It’s hard when people grow apart. I would not make this girl my Maid/Matron of Honor, but I would probably make her a bm or at least a reader during the ceremony
Post # 5
She didn’t even tell you about the wedding until a few days before, via FB?! I wouldn’t worry too much about this if that’s how close of a friend she thought of you.
I was in a very similar situation. A friend of mine was not asked to be in my party, she assumed she would be and we no longer speak. I wasn’t too worried about this friendship though, so maybe I’m not the best person to ask.
Post # 6
i think i might make her a bridesmaid. i guess it just makes me mad that she feels entitled to it.
and actually, she didn’t even tell me personally over facebook. it was just a status update. this is also how i found out about her going into labor. she then told me there wasn’t room for me at the hospital. she was there for the birth of my son two years before and just showed up at the hospital when i had my daughter a few months ago.
she didn’t even bother to call me when her mother was dying. she had cancer since i’ve known them and was in her last few days. again, another facebook post.
i guess i just feel like i’m always there for her but she doesn’t really follow through. not only are we not that close anymore but i feel like she won’t be there for dress shopping, planning or anything.
Post # 7
I wont not be too worried about it… If you dont feel comfortable asking her, there is nothing wrng with that
Post # 8
yeah. and i’m not usually the person to do what i don’t want to.
i can just see the “you didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid?!” drama starting already. lol.
Post # 9
Do whatever you feel is right. Honestly though, if you already predict drama with her in not asking her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man then who’s to say you won’t experience drama with her when she is a bridesmaid? (If that makes any sense.) Your wedding day should be as drama free as possible. Only ask her if you feel that it will enrich your wedding experience. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 10
@BlondieBrideGirl: actually, that makes a lot of sense. if she isn’t a bridesmaid, i can ignore any drama. but if she is one, i’d have to put up with it and it might be hard to keep the peace. she can be a tad bit bossy. i love her but my other girlfriends (and myself) shouldn’t have to put up with it on a regular basis through out the wedding process. thank you for putting that into perspective:)
Post # 11
I wouldn’t put her in my bridal party. If your guilt is getting the best of you, you could always consider an alternative way to include her, perhaps doing a reading or something. I am the Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friend’s upcoming wedding. She was going through the exact same thing and decided to have her do a reading, that way she felt included.