Post # 1
so up until tonight Fiance and I had talked about just making cookies for everyone we work with and handing out tins. We did it last year and everyone’s been asking when we would be bringing cookies this year So it’s a pretty good gift imo.
Today one of FI’s coworkers said that she got him a gift and now he feels like he has to buy her something specifically. He says he’s getting her a selfie stick. AND I just found out they’re also doing the white elephant thing at their office. And I know one of his other coworkers bought him something and he’s not getting her anything specific? Which is weird to me.
I wouldnt say any of this makes me uncomfortable. I’ve done white elephant at my work in the past. But doing cookies AND white elephant AND buying something for someone specifically kind of seems excessive to me. Im not going to say anything Aside from what I already did which was “oh, that’s weird” but I was wondering if any of you have felt weird about the amount of stuff your SO gets his coworkers for Christmas or if you think it’s like insecure to think its odd.
Post # 2
It doesn’t bother me at all. Christmas is a time for giving, and if a co-worker gave me cookies, white elephant gift and a personal gift, I wouldn’t view it as an unspoken invitation for a passionate affair. In fact, the day after we got married my husband purchased a female co-worker some cider beer from New England because of a conversation they had about it. I didn’t feel threatened by the gift, I thought it was a thoughtful and generous gesture.
Post # 3
My husband gives a $100 gift card to each of the employees he has working directly under him. (There are two.) And we do a gift basket with high end food/ sweets for his boss which usually runs $100 to $150.
Post # 4
I guess it just depends on if they’re good friends. Friends often buy friends Christmas gifts. Sometimes coworkers are good friends. I wouldn’t suspect anything and as long as gifts are kept in a reasonable price range, I wouldn’t think anything of it. It’s very thoughtful to give people in your life gifts during the holidays.
Post # 5
My SO’s office does a secret snowman thing. They fill out a form with likes/dislikes and then get their secret snowman a small gift for each day of the week. He always has me write on the packages because the office is mostly women and he has distinctive handwriting, so having my handwriting on the package makes it less likely they’ll figure out that it’s him before the end of the week reveal and party. He doesn’t get anyone individual gifts beyond that, but if he did it wouldn’t bug me.
Post # 6
Some people tend to give more gifts at Christmas time than others. Also, bosses frequently get gifts for their employees. I don’t think he has to go out of his way to reciprocate if he wasn’t planning to do it originally, but he should at least give a hearty thank you for their kindness.
Post # 7
Well, I am more on the jealous side. I would want to know if these women bought other co-workers gifts as well??? He shouldnt feel oligated to get them gifts.
I personally feel that Christmas is about the kids.
I think the cookies are simply wonderful and work appropriate!!!
Post # 8
Neither of us exchange gifts with co-workers, including a white elephant. None of us needs another token gift from a white elephant gift exchange. Instead we all contribute and adopt a family for Christmas. DH and I also adopt a family on our own. SO much better than some token gift or even more cookies- no matter how delicious they might be.
Post # 9
I’m the type of person who loves to buy and give gifts. My husband isn’t close with any of this coworkers (it’s not that type of workplace) but if he was I’d absolutely make sure they got gifts
Post # 10
What on earth is a white elephant??????? I have to ask!
Post # 11
Mine gets something every year for the three women in the office he is closest to. I buy it. It’s always a nice bottle of wine and a box of cookies or candies. (we find great stuff for this at Costco.) I bag it and send him on his way.
The lady who is on the same professional level as he is, usually reciprocates with a bottle of wine. The other two ladies don’t make nearly as much money as he does, and we don’t expect them to get him anything. Sometimes he’ll come home with baked goods or homemade candy though.
I don’t feel anything about it except that it’s a nice thing to do.
Post # 12
Cookies for everyone – fine. White elephant (I assume that’s like a Kris Kringle) – fine. Both of those are ok because they’re for the whole office.
But a gift for a specific female co-worker? No, not cool. The appropriate thing would be to not reciprocate, so that she doesn’t get any ideas.
Post # 13
a white elephant is a kind of gift exchange game (like dirty Santa or I think in some places they’re called Kris Kringle exchanges). There are lots of different rules, but usually each person brings a gift from an agreed-upon price range. often something silly or fun. And there’s some kind of game to determine who gets each gift.
Post # 14
I don’t have a gifty work place, but I like giving gifts. I’m a more senior member of my team. I give something small – last year I did a l’occitane lotion set for the ladies and similarly priced work gloves for the men (the guys are all into outdoorsy/country stuff). I don’t expect anything in return. My husband works from home with an international team, so he doesn’t give them holiday gifts. However, they all travel and meet up for a week or two periodically for in-person meetings. They all exchange small gifts when they see each other – I usually help him find appropriate things for the women. Although since his co-workers all live in Mexico or South America, I’m not very worried about anyone trying to seduce him with an office Xmas present or something.
Post # 15
My DH tends to go overboard with the gift giving too. I try to reign him in, as I believe coworker gifts shouldn’t cost more than $5.00, and you should get the same thing or something very similar for everyone, so no one get’s the wrong idea. I’m only okay with DH getting someone a nicer/slightly more expensive gift if it’s someone he hangs out with outside of the office. I don’t really feel weired about gift exchanges between him and female coworkers. The same parameters apply for guys and gals alike with me.