(Closed) Just because someone disagrees with you…

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 47
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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@AnAppleA_Day:  Yep, especially when the OP is called out for being offensive and the response (in so many words) is “well maybe you should have kept your legs closed sweetie!”

Post # 48
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@GoldfishPie:  Whoa.  Not okay.

Post # 49
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Something we can all take away from this is how to be better writers.

If everyone’s responses have you saying “You don’t get it! That’s not what I meant!” then maybe you need to write it better. It’s not misinterpretation if you’re not saying it right in the first place. If EVERYONE seems to be “misinterpreting” what you wrote, chances are it’s because you didn’t write it very well.  

 

Post # 50
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

While I completely agree with you, I have also recently seen a few posts were the OP was just venting or needed some support as opposed to hard hitting advice, not only were they told how silly there feelings were, but people then thread stalked them to build up a pattern of there previous posts to help make them look even sillier or pathetic.

I have also seen posts were people have ganged up on the OP. While this is an internet forum and people should remember this when putting themselves out there, WB has always been different because the posters are genuinly really nice and caring, probably why I have been on here now for 3 years!

Post # 51
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with this thread and find it refreshing. Also, just a note. I realize there will always be certain bees I almost never agree with. My opinion is not the only one that matters to the OP, in most cases haha. I’d be really conceited if I thought that. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

I also think a certain respect should be given to those moderators and bees who have been here longer than I have. A lot of them give good advice (albeit not always what we want to hear) and I always appreciate their comments. They have seen a lot more fights and conflict resolutions here than I have and know more history about people and often have good things to say. There IS earned respect in the hive, that’s for sure. 

 Also- a lot of tone is often lost over the ‘net, I believe any disagreement can be handled civilly if both parties respect each other enough to stick to board etiquette. When arguing about anything I’ve seen most posts blow up because of ‘shouting’ (caps), bold printing what someone says (and not having the kindest things to say about that person, assuming the worst) etc. 

I usually don’t get involved in drama because I choose to click out of a thread if it upsets me. I don’t always have to be right and oftentimes it’s not worth the headache of a fight with a total stranger over the internet. 

That being said: I love the bee. I love the ladies here and the support I get from them and I can give to them. Even if you don’t agree with me, know that I care about you and wish the best for you. I hope my posts never come across as rude or abrasive, (although I know I can be really redundant most of the time haha). ๐Ÿ˜‰ much love to all 

Post # 52
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@simpleandchic:  I also agree with this and if anyone feels like the OP is being treated unfairly, I’d def. recommend PM-ing the OP yourself. Some of the best support I’ve gotten here was through kind, considerate women who saw the need for support and personally reached out. 

Post # 53
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

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@MrsElopement: Thank you putting a name to my condition- “chronic bitchface.” ๐Ÿ™‚

Is it wrong that I get a little amused by the “everyone is mean to me and I’m taking my toys and leaving” posts?? Does that make me a bad person? Who cares, I’m going to go get a fudgesicle instead. 

Post # 54
Member
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What is going on today?! There are so many people posting nasty, nasty things! Even very regular posters, who I thought would know better than to gang up and take cheap shots. I dunno, I was flamed recently for posting something I believed in, so maybe I’m just noticing it more. If someone disagrees, why can’t it respectfully be done without the snarkiness?

Post # 56
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@WillyNilly:  Good point!

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@simpleandchic:  Yes!! I agree with you and have been thinking this to myself. It’s a little sad to see when other bees do this. Somtimes the bee’s are so nice and so helpful but I guess sometimes we all just have our off days. On those off days I decide to put the bee away and focus on more positive things of my day. 

Post # 57
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@SimplyChic11:  At first glance I thought you were agreeing with your previous post.  I had to actually squint and read it again!  lol

Post # 58
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Thank you for this. Yeah, if I read a thread and it’s clear that they really didn’t want advice at all but wanted to be told what they wanted to hear, I just don’t play. ; )

Post # 59
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes!! People are very defensive. Some of the best advice i’ve got on here is the advice I didn’t want to hear! Sometimes I’m actually afraid to write out my opinion on something for fear of being bitch-slapped by someone who disagrees….I was shocked by a thread yesterday and didn’t dare comment. I don’t mind someone saying i’m wrong…just be friendlier about it!

Post # 60
Member
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Thread love!!!! I have to say that I defend people who ask for advice and don’t take it– especially in an abusive relationship. That’s a hard next step! Lets just hope that what we say bounces around in their heads until it’s time to do what needs to be done.

Post # 61
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@simpleandchic:  “but people then thread stalked them to build up a pattern of there previous posts to help make them look even sillier or pathetic.”


Yes! When people say “Well judging by your past posts, blah blah” ..foreal? Did you care that much about the argument/disagreement to go back and look at someones past threads or posts so you could try and get people to gang up on them? I see long-time WB users doing that most often. That is so childish. 

WB is a place with diffrent people who are diffrent ages, races, cultures, etc. and we all have very diffrent opinions, the thing I see most often is when a person has an opinion that isn’t the majority-no matter how nicely they write it- they WILL be ganged up on. It’s pathetic, and that is where most of the catty-ness comes from. 

Everyone should be able to give their advice, because sometimes the OP might not like the advice from the 6 people being agressive in telling her shes wrong, but the person who doesn’t agree with those 6 people might have the advice that changes the OP’s situation. Make sense? ๐Ÿ™‚

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