- 6 years ago
My fiance and I were have a really rocky past few months. I moved out of his house like 3 months ago hoping it would help us appreciate each other more. As soon as I moved out, he started acting single. I’m not saying he cheated on me, but he was always with his friends. Going out and not telling me. Drinking. Blowing me off. Ignoring me. Barely talked to me. I was put on the back burner. 🙁 2 Fridays ago, I had gotten my bartending shift picked up and went out with my sister. He was at the bar, we didn’t even talk. After I left he started texting me saying that I embarassed him with how I treated him in front of my friends. That it doesn’t seem like we are engaged. That he might as well be single. I told him his utility check and ring were in his mailbox. This was friday night/early early saturday morning. Well, Saturday we talked and from the convo I thought we were still together, but just not engaged. He went out that night. I went to see a friend of mine out of town. Sunday we talked. I asked him if we were together or broke up. He said he didn’t think we were together because I gave him his ring back. Fair enough. We talked and decided we still wanted to be together and to try to make this work. I ASKED him if there was anything I needed to know from him going out Saturday night. If there was anything I was going to hear – that I wanted to hear it from him and nobody else. He said no. Well, Sunday (11th), he asked me to be “re-engaged” and honestly.. everything was perfect! We were back to our old selves. He wanted to spend all his time with me again. It was great. Well, Thursday rolls around and I get a text message saying that he was going around the bar bragging about how he was single and that he was flirting with other girls. I also got a text saying that he has been talked to 2 other girls: 1 on facebook, 1 in text message. I confronted him about it. He denied it. I didn’t believe it. I had been through this with him once before when we first got together. What was real sketchy is as soon as I confronted him about it, he got up… got his phone… and went in the bathroom for 45 minutes if not longer. He came back out and asked if I Was leaving. I said yes. I cried my eyes out to him over the wedding dress that I’m never going to get to wear. That I’m so tired of crying over him. He cried, too, saying he hasn’t been talking to anyone else. That he only wants to be with me, etc. I asked to see his FB messages. What was sketchy.. is the way he was sitting, his phone back was towards me so I couldn’t see what he was doing but I kept hearing a “pop” like he was hitting notifications. Well, he kept saying that FB wasn’t responding, but it seems to me like he was deleting stuff. Well, I checked his messages… nothing there. In the past, when I have had doubts he has offered to show me his phone records. Well, I remember Thursday sitting on the bed thinking that he didn’t offer them to me this time.
Well, Friday he starts blowing my phone up with all this sweet stuff. Telling me he loves me so much and not to leave him. That honestly when we were fighting all the time he did wish he was single a few times. That yeah he was hanging out with his friends and having fun but he realized something was missing. That it was me. That he realizes that he doesn’t want to lose me. That he has never had a relationship like this and he wasn’t going to screw it up this time. That he is the luckiest guy in the world to have such a beautiful sweet girl like me. I’m telling you… he was being really sweet. But I had a gut feeling he was still lying to me.
Well, I went to work Friday night and a girl I work with told me that there is a way you can check phone bills online. It will show you the numbers that he has been texting/calling. I was like that is a good idea. Since he has offered them to me before, he will have no problem showing them to me now to clear this up and get us moving forward. Boy, was I wrong. We were suppose to watch the Alabama game together Saturday and I hadn’t heard from him. He thought I Was mad at him, but I told him I wasn’t mad… just hurt and that I didn’t believe him. I told him I had found a way that would prove he is telling the truth and make this all go away. He said what? I said show me your November phone bill. The first thing he said was “that’s so stupid.” Was I shocked or what? I told him if he had nothing to hide that it wouldn’t be a problem to show me. He kept on making excuses. Saying I didn’t have that right (which I think other wise since he proposed to me). He even had the nerve to say that “he has his pride to lose.” I was like this has NOTHING to do with pride!? It has EVERYTHING to do with us! This could easily resolve all this! I was like you just proved me right. You have always offered your phone bill, no problem, but when I actually need to see them so this will all be better, you won’t show them to me. I told him he was a compulsive liar. That he didn’t love me because if he did he wouldn’t have lied to my face while I was crying my eyes out. He told me to quit talking to him. That I wasn’t going to talk to him like that. I told him he wasn’t going to treat me like a doormat because that’s exactly what he had been doing for the past month (since I moved out).
It turns out he ended up going out Saturday night. Drinking. Partying it up. Flirting with other girls. I’m heartbroken. I haven’t heard from him at all. I’ve cried every day. I’ve lost weight cause I can’t eat without getting sick. I’m so depressed. How can he just go out and party it up and flirt with other girls? How can he talk to other girls behind my back? We had our future planned together. We were suppose to be married next year and wanted a family together. He even told me Friday night that he loves me so much and wants to marry me and start a family. That he will be devastated if he loses me. It breaks my heart that he hasn’t even tried to fix things… or even just break down and tell me the truth. Because his pride is more important.
How do I get over this? I really need help. He is all I think about. Not to mention, I’m dreading bartending on Friday nights because I know that he will be up there flirting with girls in front of my face. I don’t think I can handle it. Much less seeing him.
Please help me. I don’t know what to do.