(Closed) Just broke up with my fiance. Heartbroken. Depressed. Need help.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

First off, I’m sorry this is happening to you.

I personally think you deserve better than someone stringing you along like this. He is showing you his true colors. Believe them. It will be difficult, but I think it would be best for you to focus on yourself right now.

Post # 4
Member
3111 posts
Sugar bee

@JLynnMc23:  Hon, the relationship meant for you should not be THIS hard. He has a lot of growing up to do.  He is showing you who he is.  Please believe him.  He is not ready for a committment.  I have been there and understand how broken you must feel and you may not believe this right now but it will get better.  Life is too short to deal with this back and forth dysfunction and heartache.

You asked, ‘How can he talk to other girls behind my back? We had our future planned together.’  The answer is: It DOESN’T matter.  The fact is, he is doing it.  Do not try to overanalyze or figure out the reasons.  Be grateful that you don’t understand douchebagness.  Focus on you.  Maintain absolutely no contact. It is one of the hardest things you can do.  You will only begin to heal when you stop entertaining him period!  It will take time and you will hurt but you have to go through it.  Do not end up back with this guy.  You teach somoene how to treat you.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  *hugs* 

Post # 5
Member
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@JLynnMc23:  you deserve so much better; someone who respects you.  he clearly does not.  let him go.  he is an ass.  if he really loved you, he would never have acted this way. 

keep yourself busy.  set some goals.  find a new hobby.  join some clubs.  you will be just fine and in a few weeks, probably so much happier.

 

Post # 6
Member
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’m so sorry!  But I think this is a blessing in disguise.  This is obviously not the man for you – every woman deserve someone who puts her needs and wants first.  Someone who really loves you and wants to spend his life with you would never do this.  Cut off all contact with him, grieve the end of this relationship for a little while, and then get out there and find someone 1,000,000x better!

Post # 7
Member
9953 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@JLynnMc23:  ((HUGS))  I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.  Breaking up a relationship is one of the hardest things anyone has to ever face in life.

Be good to yourself, get out with your friends, do some things to help cheer yourself up.  Don’t try to keep questioning yourself over and over again.  Obviously you knew in your heart the relationship wasn’t healthy or the right one for you because you left him in the first place.

It might be a good idea, also, for you to speak with a counselor to help you deal with the grief stages of ending a relationship.  It’s never easy for anyone to go through this.

I wish you all the best.  Just remember that in the long run you’ll be better off knowing all these things now.  When you find the right one, the relationship won’t be this difficult or “on and off.”

Post # 8
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You need to be strong and leave him for your own good. It won’t be easy but in the long run I believe it will be worth it. You have a lot of heart ache already – save yourself more heartache and leave this jerk behind. Find someone who will love you with his actions and not just his words.

Post # 9
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

This is a very toxic relationship for both you and him – you don’t want to spend the rest of your life never being able to 100% trust your husband, right? And I’m sure he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life being married to a woman that is going to ask to see his phone, emails, texts, etc and not trust him.

While you do want a future with him, it sounds like a future of heartache and constant suspicion. 🙁 

Post # 10
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry.  I agree with PP, the right relationship will not be this hard.  You shouldn’t have to fight someone to give you attention, respect, and love.  The right person will want to and freely give you what you need.  You shouldn’t have to fight for it.

He is obviously not ready to commit and he sounds like he’s still in that stage where he wants to be single and party.  He sounds really young honestly and he’s leading you on.  He’s showing you who he is, please believe him.  It has nothing to do with you and your worth.  It doesn’t really matter why he is acting like this and there is nothing you could do or could’ve done to fix things or change them.  You can’t change who people are. The fact is, this is who he is.  MOVE ON.

It will be hard, but time will definitely help you move on.  You will be so so happy and thankful one day that you didn’t waste any more time with this guy.  Please cut off all contact with him and certainly don’t give him a chance to come around again.  And plase don’t listen to that if it happens (which it probably will)!

Post # 13
Member
14659 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It does sound sketchy and maybe that he’s not ready to settle down if he had done this before.  If he does show up at your bar flirting with girls in front of your face, I think that would actually help turn that sadness and hurt into anger into hate and then forget about that asshole.  Don’t waste another second crying for him. 

Post # 14
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

This is what I’m saying – great ladies stuck with horrible men. Why can’t the guys behave with more sensitivity and maturity? I’m so pissed at guys right now, even though I know there are great gentlemen out there who know how to treat their ladies. 

OP, I’m with you 100%. Your SO is treating you in a very insensitive manner and I totally understand your pain. It could be that mentally he has distanced himself from over you a long time so he has already mourned your relationship. Move on with your life and don’t ever make the mistake of making any man your life. Give him all your love but always have a sense of self outside of him.

Post # 15
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@JLynnMc23:  Yep he sounds like he is about 22 to me.  RUN AWAY.

It hurts…but you will be SO SO HAPPY you ditched this loser down the road.  The right man does not treat you like this.

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