(Closed) Just broke up with the man I thought I was going to marry

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

fitchick89:  

Honey, he was a flake. You don’t need a flake. Sending you a tonne of internet hugs. You will get through this. A man who means it doesn’t act this way. Just take some time to get over the heart break and remember there are other men out there. Better, stronger, kinder men. Sign up to a few dating sites. I met Darling Husband on okcupid. Remind yourself that you are not the only one out there searching for love. Sometimes seeing other, real faces on the hunt for their soul mate is super reassuring. You might the right choice. You made the strong choice. Be so proud of yourself!! I am proud of you. Short term sting for long term joy. Trust me. The bandaid is off, the healing has begun. Pull that kid onto your knee and watch mindless comedy shows with choccies. Even if your kid is fourteen! (I still sit on my mamas lap every now and then and I’m 23) Sending you positive, life affirming vibes. You got this, lady.

Post # 18
Member
730 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know how to help but I hope you feel better soon

Post # 19
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

fitchick89:  I’m glad! Sending you love and support! 😀 

Post # 20
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

One step closer to the RIGHT one 

Post # 21
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

fitchick89:  this sucks. I am sorry. You seem to be taking this well and have a good head on your shoulders. 

Post # 22
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m really sorry.  You did the right thing.  You know what you want and you weren’t going to accept anything less.  Honestly, if you’d accepted his “I don’t know/don’t have a plan” you’d be miserable.  Long distance realtionships are difficult.  I’ve rarely seen one work unless their is true commitment on BOTH sides.  Sounds like he wasn’t being honest about his commitment level.  Yes, he does/did care for you but that’s not enough to make it work.  PP who said “flake” is exactly right.  I remember a woman telling me, a few years back, that her brother broke off a 12 yr realtionship.  He said he realized the he didn’t really love her (he told her this).  And then said he wasn’t doing her any favours by staying with her!?  I don’t understand why people do this.  You were brave enough to ask him for truth, even if you didn’t get the answer you wanted.  In the end you’ll be much happier for it.  ((hugs))

Post # 23
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2025

LDR are very difficult becasue you don’t know what he’s doing as you’re not there. I think that makes it easy for someone who doesn’t hold you in high regard to do things behind your bad and feel no guilt.

I broke up too with someone this week that I would have married. He got back on Match recently and I saw it. So since we’re an hour away from each other I’m assuming he’s still seeing other women.

my conclusion: it was a very expensive bad date and thank God it’s over. I’ve cried a lot and I’ll cry some more but the hard part of breaking up is done. *sigh*

Post # 24
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

So sorry to hear this. It does sound like you did the right thing though you must be hurting right now. Hugs to you

Post # 25
Member
6353 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

(((Hugs)))

Post # 26
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

You did the right thing. I was LDR for 3 years, and I do believe LDRs can work but they need an endgame. You need to feel like you are progressing in the relationship, otherwise its stagnant and it doesn’t grow.

I’m sending hugs and lots of love as you move forward. <3

Post # 27
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Good call. He was not in the same place you are as far as what you are wanting of your relationship. You want more, he doesn’t or he would make it happen. Point blank. Find someone that wants the same thing you want, a future, a defined life partnership. 

Post # 28
Member
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

Yipeebee:  <— everything she just said.

Be proud of yourself for being strong enough to know what is right for you and your daughter. Be good to yourself now, give yourself time to grieve the relationship, pamper yourself, be gentle with yourself the way you would with a close friend or sister who is hurting.

But please be careful if he comes back with a change of heart. He may truly have had a ‘wake up’ call – or he may tell you what you want to hear so that things will go back to the way they were. If he’s sincere about a change of heart, his words should include a concrete plan, not vague undefined promises. So sorry you’re hurting 🙁

Post # 30
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

fitchick89:  That’s a brave and astute attitude to have. Keep soldiering through until one day you realise your breezing. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself some treats. After my first major break up I gave myself a whole week of eating exactly what I wanted (MacDonald and raspberry ice cream) and because I couldn’t handle romance I binge watched The Wire. I found crime shows a great distraction from everything I was feeling! Just take it easy and don’t punish yourself for feeling sad but also don’t overindulge. We are all here so post in times of weakness and we will do our darndest to build you back up! Hugs to you, honey. 🙂 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  Yipeebee.

The topic ‘Just broke up with the man I thought I was going to marry’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors