Just buy the clothes already!

posted 2 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
Member
3459 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

 We’re now 18 days away and Fiance has four groomsmen. Fiance checked with each individually on pricing about eight months ago so thats not the issue. One was fitted last week, another was fitted yesterday – neither have actually purchased their suits. The other two haven’t been fitted and one of them is our last needed RSVP. So you’re not crazy bc this is stressful but my advice is to contact them once more and then let it go. These are adults, they will either pull it together in time for your day or they won’t.

Post # 3
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Try not to let them drive you crazy. They most likely will buy their suits before the wedding, but be willing to accept the possibility that they won’t.

One of my DH’s 4 groomsmen would’t answer his texts or emails, and about two weeks before the wedding we found out that he hadn’t rented his tux and he wasn’t planning to attend the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner… Our programs were already printed with his name listed with the groomsmen. Darling Husband was hurt because this was his childhood friend. In the end he sat in the crowd with our other guests, maybe he felt a little embarrassed that his name was on the programs but he wasn’t standing up there with the other groomsmen. I really think he didn’t want to spend the money and he preferred to stay with his female date (another story altogether… He wanted to bring a different date two days before the wedding, we told him name cards were already printed, so he found a girl with the same name). Anyway, it didn’t affect our wedding day but it did confirm that Darling Husband was no longer friends with this guy. 

Hopefully it will work out but if they don’t show up in proper attire they can just sit with the other guests. Not the end of the world!

Post # 5
Member
2185 posts
Buzzing bee

Either you buy the clothes you want them to wear OR you come to terms with them wearing something different. Black pants & a white shirt are pretty basic so I don’t think it will be strange if they aren’t in the matching look. I would talk to them one last time, make sure they know to have black pants & white shirt and leave it alone. Be at peace with whatever they wear. This won’t even concern you in a few weeks.

Post # 6
Member
2185 posts
Buzzing bee

hunting_bride :  wait….if they don’t buy the clothes you want them to wear, they will be downgraded to guest? what is that? It’s more important they look the way you want than these people standing up with you? In that case, you are treating them as props instead of people and I do not relate to that perspective and give you no sympathy.  

Post # 8
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee

babygrandmabee :  I’m so sick of this “you’re treating them as props” stuff. They’re in the bridal party, their one job is to come in the outfit the bride and groom picked. It’s not treating them as props. Wanting a cohesive look doesn’t mean you don’t care about them as friends.

Post # 11
Member
3459 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

hunting_bride :  In a perfect world the answer would be no. But in a perfect world the good friends of our SOs would get off their grown a**es and simply get the darn suits without hassle! If it helps here are the options we’ve discussed. a.) Groomsmen are completely MIA, can’t do anything about that so he’ll let it go. b.) Groomsmen attend but fail to get the agreed upon suits, they will stand beside him anyway. c.) Fiance offered them the option of wearing simple white shirts and black pants a few weeks ago plus individually let them know if they had trouble paying he’d be happy to help. There’s only so much you can do but if its important to him that these men stand beside him I think its worth a compromise. No matter how much I want to smack them…

Post # 12
Member
2185 posts
Buzzing bee

hunting_bride :  That is your perogative. I do NOT think having a cohesive look is more important than a friendship. You can be sick of the people saying you are treating them as props, doesn’t make it untrue. We obviously have different perspectives on this topic. Good luck! Hope your wedding pics are glorious!

Post # 13
Member
258 posts
Helper bee

What color is your FI’s suit? If they got black suits, and you simply grouped the guys by color at the altar, would it be super noticable?

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