(Closed) Just call me Kermit

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I sooooo understand you. All my friends are getting engaged and married right now. my SO has learned I am happy for some, jealous of some, and can look at some and know they wont last. (Now i tell my SO that ______ just got engaged and he brings me a bowl of chocolate ice cream).  He always reminds me that I should be happy  I have found the love of my life and my best friend. No we aren’t engaged and yes i want to be married like right NOW!! but it will happen with time.  Just enjoy your relationship and the man you have and count your blessings that you got such a great guy.

Post # 4
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

First of all, stop blaming yourself!  Being cheated on is a nightmare in itself, you don’t need to drag it on by taking it out on yourself.  Whatever the reason, the first time didn’t work out.  The first time you ate cake or spaghetti was probably disasterous, but it probably didn’t stop you from having dessert or dinner again. 

Yes, those comments like “don’t do it man” or “sucks to be him” or “sucker” really annoy the s*%! out of me, just be happy for them already lol!  It’s normal to feel a little jealous, it’s not that you aren’t happy for them, it’s just hard to see it right in front of your face.  It’s awesome that you have such level headed friends, and they’re right.  Things will happen when they are supposed to. 

Post # 5
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@trirunner56:  *Hugs* it sounds like you’re dealing with this the best you can. If it helps, I don’t think you’re crazy or anything.

I think as you get used to the idea of your BFF’s engagement, the jealousy will slowly fade.

2.5 years isn’t ridiculously long.

Have you gotten a timeline from your boyfriend? Is he thinking marriage in the next 1, 2, 5 years? I think at the very least, he owes you that much. You’re a couple… he can’t hold all the cards.

Try and bring it up at a time when you’re not in the woe is me mood. And don’t nag, don’t blame, don’t bring up the other couple.

 

Post # 6
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I can honestly understand how you’re feeling. Fiance and I were together for 5 1/2 years when my BFF got engaged to her Boyfriend or Best Friend of just over 4 years. Granted, 4 years is a while, but we always thought Fiance and I would be first. I was elated, and then I was upset, had a bit of a meltdown, threw a giant pity party for 1 in our bedroom while he was down in the basement completely unaware of how I was feeling. Eventually he came upstairs and we talked about things and he hugged me and told me our time would come. I was upset for a bit longer but then I was elated again for her with a bit of a pit in my stomach. It was such a roller coaster.

Trust me when I say, the feeling will pass and you will be 100% excited for her and that’s the only feeling you’ll have for their relationship.

Post # 7
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

2 and a half years is not really that long, and just because he hasn’t proposed yet certainly does not mean he doesn’t love you enough.

It’s wonderful that you can be so happy for your friend, but you cannot and should not compare your relationship to hers.

I really believe it cannot be said enough on these boards: Nothing good ever comes from comparing your relationship to others.

Enjoy what you guys have. The rest will come when it’s meant to. 

Post # 8
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

@trirunner56:  It is a common theme on these boards to be jealous of those who get engaged before you. there are a million different reasons or degrees of it. i am a little tired of the world  (not really on this board, but the world in general) in general implying you are a bad person of you are jealous.

i don’t look at it as envy really… it is seeing others do something, and being reminded that you have not done it. if you were the only one of your friend to not graduate from college, would you be jealous that other people did? not really… it just brings it home that you did not, and you might feel inferior or like a failure, or that you are falling behind. its totally natural… but somehow when the situation is marriage and family, people apply this catty, bridezilla lens to it. 

if there was no barometer of society, of other people doing the same things at the same basic stage in life, how would we guage or judge anything? no one wants to be the only kid not going to prom, not going to college, not having a good job. and getting married and having kids is the same.

it sounds like you are being a good friend and you can always vent here. we understand how you feel. 😉 go ahead and be green… and don’t feel to bad about it.

The topic ‘Just call me Kermit’ is closed to new replies.

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