(Closed) Just can’t figure SO out…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe he’s testing you.  We all know that marriage is more than a piece of paper.  Maybe telling him that it’s not the marriage paper that’s important to you, but rather, the prospect of sharing your lives together, and vowing to do so is what’s important.

Sounds like he might be planning something, though.  Guy’s don’t usually look at diamond certs for nothing. . .unless they’re gemologists. 

Post # 4
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

It’s a tough situation, but I really think you need to sit down and have an open conversation with him. “Are we going to get engaged?” “Do you still want to get married?” etc..

Post # 6
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well you are about a year into the relationship, so I’m sure you have your feelings and things established. Seems like your SO has had a bad time in the past. He has to be willing to take a risk for you, knowing that you are not the same women pressuring for the same things and in the end won’t turn out like it did last time.

The other part would be to make your prorities known! If your a marriage type of woman, you need to let him know thats what it takes to be with you. Some guys will say things like “oh its just paper” or ” oh the government doesn’t need to be involved” but the truth is, marriage symobolizes so much more. If your pregnant you want a man to stay with you and commit to you and your family.

Hoping for the best!

Post # 7
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

I think his comment could mean any of a number of things, from “I think marriage is just a piece of paper, but since it’s important to you, I still want to get married to you” to “Marriage is stupid, what’s the point?” The only way you can find out which it is is to ask him. And I don’t think asking the question “Do you still want to get married?” is pushy! You are not his ex-girlfriend.

Post # 8
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

He’s the only one with the answers so you have to approach the topic again.

Post # 9
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

He may just be trying to throw you off… Guys tend to do that.  I would just approach him again, just letting him know that you DO want to marry, but there is no pressure, that you love him and you will support him.  My SO told me (he was married before also, went through a bad divorce) he didn’t want to get married again… Fast forward a year or so later and I know he has purchased a ring for me!  So see, just talking with him again may give you some comfort.  Good luick!  

Post # 10
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Leslie828: Oh and I’m terribly sorry for your loss.  

Post # 12
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Leslie828:

Good for you!  Have a great weekend yourself 😉

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