Post # 17
Oh geeze… he sounds awful.
I would run so far away… so very far.
Post # 18
Sounds like a bad situation to me. There is no way I would be marrying him. Hopefully she doesn’t.
Post # 19
That sounds more than a little off. It sounds extremely unhealthy!
Post # 20
@Galang_Gyal: haha um no. Not only would I not date/marry him, it sounds like he needs a swift kick in the d!€k.
Post # 21
Well, he sounds awful.
Good news is that she CAN’T marry him. He’s already married.
Post # 22
@Galang_Gyal: I wouldn’t, but to teach their own. luckiily he is still married to someone else so htey can’t even get married right now. Maybe she’ll come around and see the light before it’s too late.
Post # 23
Yes it’s a shame! And she’s a really smart girl in terms of booksmarts. But in terms of real life stuff she seems stunted.
Very true! I’ve been in a toxic relationship of a different kind before, where the guy was taking advantage of how much I cared about him. It was hard to see. But I just don’t get how the money thing isn’t obvious to her.
I’ve never used those words to her. I usually try to ask her questions to get her to see how odd this stuff sounds. Like when he told her not to get fast food I was like “Why did you even feel the need to ask him? Isn’t it YOUR money you were going to use?” And when she gives an excuse I told her unless they’re sharing an account she needs to be able to make her own decisions about how she spends her money. She hears me but she doesn’t hear me.
Can I get an AMEN? Lol I mean seriously, that’s just weird to me. Now I believe in God and that he leads and guides us if we ask him to, HOWEVER I had a former member of my family who used that same type of crap to manipulate my aunt (his ex wife) and some of the other women in my family. He’d say stuff like “In my prayer time God told me you have to wear long skirts in order to honor him. If you love him you’ll listen”…so I take that type of stuff with a grain of salt.
Post # 24
Post # 25
If she does marry him, please keep up a friendship with her and let her know you are a safe place to run to.
Post # 26
Hahahaa!!! He really does
I sure hope so! But if she hasn’t seen it up to this point I almost doubt she will before they get married. Unless she has a whole lot of time on her hands between now and then
Post # 27
Well we have never really been friends. I’m just connected to her because her fiance is DH’s longtime friend. I’m always cordial with her though and try to be a listening ear when we speak. The main problem is that he seems to have her trained to tell him everything she talks to other people about. Even minute details that have nothing to do with anything! So half the time I’m worried that when I do try to give her advice that it’ll put her in a bad position with him because she will just willingly tell him everything I said, and then of course he’ll get mad at her…it’s just such a weird situation.
Post # 28
I had a friend marry a guy who did the same thing with money (she had to check in for every dime, and the kicker was she was the only one in the relationship working) We didn’t know about it until after they broke up. She just thought it was normal… wierd how our defintions of normal are definded by the people we are with.
Post # 29
@Galang_Gyal: i’d be lying if i didnt say we all havent at least overlooked a few of our partners shortcomings but she is outright BLIND.
he needs to be put in his place and she needs to get her life back before he takes even more.
Post # 30
how is she gonna marry him when he’s already legally married to someone else?
also, she needs to run away as fast and as far as she possibly can.
Post # 31
As many of you know, I am someone who believes in God, who believes that He absolutely can — and does — speak to people who seek to hear from Him through the truth found in His Word and through other Biblically legitimate means, and who believes in the Biblical model of marriage as described in Scripture in Ephesians 5.
And, based upon everything you’ve described, I would run as fast as I could, metaphorically speaking, to get away from this guy.
He sounds as if he is cold, calculating, controlling, manipulative, arrogant, insensitive, harsh, spiritually deceived, and completely and off-base on so many levels. I could go on and on as to all of the reasons these things are major, major, MAJOR red flags.
What does your friend believe about this relationship?