(Closed) Just curious…do you prefer to give gifts off the registry or cash?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 46
Member
9581 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I like the registry but sometimes I do artwork for the couple depending on how well I know them. I made a big painting based off a beautiful vacation photo for a friend and it’s been prominently hung in their dining or living room in every home since- they love it. Thats awesome to me.

Another couple I dip dyed a set of placemats and napkins in their wedding color- teal. They were high quality linen so they made the perfect ombré fade. That couple also loved them. 

Cash is just so blunt-  a meaningful personal gift is always better I think unless you can afford to give a lot. Now I can, but back then I didn’t have 2 or 300 or even 100 per wedding so I upped the value with DIY love and skill. In the south/Midwest where I’m from – cash is only really given by your immediate family. In NYC/Long Island where I live now… God help you if you show up to a wedding with out your required admittence fee envelope or Gift! I meant gift 😉

Post # 49
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Always cash, for the shower and the wedding.Let the  couple do as they wish with the money.  

Post # 50
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I usually give a gift off their registry. However, my fiance and I both lived in our own apartments during college and now live together, so we’ve already gotten rid of a lot and don’t want/need much more, esp. since we have so little space and can’t afford storage. We’ve registered for some things we don’t have, want a better one, want a new one, etc. But we’ve left our list kinda short, hoping people would just give money, and have expressed that desire to friends, many of whom responded, “You mean I can just write a check? Awesome. Easy. Done.”

Post # 51
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I do boxed gifts from the registry for the shower and a check for the wedding. If I know the couple very well, I sometimes do a more personal and meaningful wedding gift. When one of my best friends was married last year, I bought them some photography books from her favorite photographer. They had used his photos to inspire their invitations.

Post # 52
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I find this thread really interesting, especially after all the kick back that appears on the threads from people asking for help wording invites where they don’t want to have a registry, and would rather ask for cash!

Seems the vast majority of people are happier giving cash for the wedding itself… it’s a little different in the UK as we don’t have wedding showers, but the majority of people I know are happy to give cash.

Post # 53
Member
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I like buying gifts from the registry, too. I’ve just always loved giving people physical gifts more than cash or gift cards, especially when there’s a registry and you know what they want!

Post # 54
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
Kellym84:  Actually, as of Gemstone’s post I count 20 respondents who prefer to give cash at the wedding, 17 who prefer registry gifts (some of whom said they would give cash in certain circumstances but that it would make them feel uncomfortable, others who don’t seem to have particularly strong preference on the matter, but DID express a slight preference for registry gifts), and 4 respondents who I count as “give cash, but expressed strong discomfort” in their post.

I think people on this website vastly underestimate how many people actually prefer to find a gift for their friends or are actually uncomfortable giving cash to their peers but do it anyway because they want to please those who are close to them.

Post # 55
Member
12814 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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Kellym84:   It may seem strange   to some  that it’s OK to register for gifts when gifts are customary, but it’s not OK to “register” for cash when cash is customary. Traditionally, it’s not any different with presents.  The concept of any registry is  a little hypocritical, if you think about it.  

Just as the OP explains, traditionally, wedding gifts are supposed to be long lasting and tangible. You aren’t supposed to ask for anything that supports you, or your lifestyle. But there is still, IMO, a major difference between asking for cash versus giving it voluntarily.

I never registered since I really couldn’t  see it as anything other than a wish list that directs guests to buy  something I told them to buy. On the other hand,  I am perfectly happy to buy off of a registry if that is what I think the person would like the most, but I am under no illusion that it shows any more personal thoughtfulness or effort on my part. 

I rarely give money to peers, but I do give checks  to younger relatives now that we are in the position to be more generous. 

Post # 56
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I give gifts for the shower. Here in my city, ‘Presentation‘ is generally cash or check in an envelope with a nice card. I will always give about $200, unless its not open bar, I might give a little less. It depends who the Bride & Groom are.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  aka_nessa .
Post # 57
Member
351 posts
Helper bee

I totally prefer gifts off the registry for a shower. 

 

for the wedding cash or boxed gifts is fine. Cash/cards are much easier to transport and gifts will need someone to bring them back home which can be cumbersome 

Post # 58
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
Mrs.Sawyertobe:  For showers I try to give right off the registry… bride obviously wanted it if she registered for it!  However, if options are limited and I can get something really unique to the bride- personalized, monogrammed… I will do that.  For the actual wedding I almost always give cash

Post # 59
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
Mrs.Sawyertobe:  Where I grew up and in my social circle, you give registry gifts for the shower(s) and than cash for the wedding. The idea of gifts at a wedding is a little foreign to me… not mentin, I would think it’s annoying to take it all home after the wedding.

Post # 60
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
Mrs.Sawyertobe:  I give off the registry because I am young so my friends have not yet set up a home and also I’m not financially stable yet so in my current financial situation I can only afford to give $100-200 ($100 if I’m going by myself and $200 if I’m going with my SO) and in a way I’m embarrassed to cut a check for that amount of money. That’s not a lot of money within the social circle I’m in. So I purchase something in my price range off of the registry instead. 

I also limit myself to going only to weddings of people I know pretty well, so if I can come up with a good idea then I’ll even purchase something off the registry that I know the couple will really enjoy.

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