Post # 46
I like the registry but sometimes I do artwork for the couple depending on how well I know them. I made a big painting based off a beautiful vacation photo for a friend and it’s been prominently hung in their dining or living room in every home since- they love it. Thats awesome to me.
Another couple I dip dyed a set of placemats and napkins in their wedding color- teal. They were high quality linen so they made the perfect ombré fade. That couple also loved them.
Cash is just so blunt- a meaningful personal gift is always better I think unless you can afford to give a lot. Now I can, but back then I didn’t have 2 or 300 or even 100 per wedding so I upped the value with DIY love and skill. In the south/Midwest where I’m from – cash is only really given by your immediate family. In NYC/Long Island where I live now… God help you if you show up to a wedding with out your required admittence fee envelope or Gift! I meant gift 😉
Post # 47
Those personal gifts sounds lovely. I love to get things like that! Especially since I do not have an artistic bone in my body!
Post # 48
Me too. I definitely prefer gifts, but gifts are also the expecatation around here!
Post # 49
Always cash, for the shower and the wedding.Let the couple do as they wish with the money.
Post # 50
I usually give a gift off their registry. However, my fiance and I both lived in our own apartments during college and now live together, so we’ve already gotten rid of a lot and don’t want/need much more, esp. since we have so little space and can’t afford storage. We’ve registered for some things we don’t have, want a better one, want a new one, etc. But we’ve left our list kinda short, hoping people would just give money, and have expressed that desire to friends, many of whom responded, “You mean I can just write a check? Awesome. Easy. Done.”
Post # 51
I do boxed gifts from the registry for the shower and a check for the wedding. If I know the couple very well, I sometimes do a more personal and meaningful wedding gift. When one of my best friends was married last year, I bought them some photography books from her favorite photographer. They had used his photos to inspire their invitations.
Post # 52
I find this thread really interesting, especially after all the kick back that appears on the threads from people asking for help wording invites where they don’t want to have a registry, and would rather ask for cash!
Seems the vast majority of people are happier giving cash for the wedding itself… it’s a little different in the UK as we don’t have wedding showers, but the majority of people I know are happy to give cash.
Post # 53
I like buying gifts from the registry, too. I’ve just always loved giving people physical gifts more than cash or gift cards, especially when there’s a registry and you know what they want!
Post # 54
Actually, as of Gemstone’s post I count 20 respondents who prefer to give cash at the wedding, 17 who prefer registry gifts (some of whom said they would give cash in certain circumstances but that it would make them feel uncomfortable, others who don’t seem to have particularly strong preference on the matter, but DID express a slight preference for registry gifts), and 4 respondents who I count as “give cash, but expressed strong discomfort” in their post.
I think people on this website vastly underestimate how many people actually prefer to find a gift for their friends or are actually uncomfortable giving cash to their peers but do it anyway because they want to please those who are close to them.
Post # 55
It may seem strange to some that it’s OK to register for gifts when gifts are customary, but it’s not OK to “register” for cash when cash is customary. Traditionally, it’s not any different with presents. The concept of any registry is a little hypocritical, if you think about it.
Just as the OP explains, traditionally, wedding gifts are supposed to be long lasting and tangible. You aren’t supposed to ask for anything that supports you, or your lifestyle. But there is still, IMO, a major difference between asking for cash versus giving it voluntarily.
I never registered since I really couldn’t see it as anything other than a wish list that directs guests to buy something I told them to buy. On the other hand, I am perfectly happy to buy off of a registry if that is what I think the person would like the most, but I am under no illusion that it shows any more personal thoughtfulness or effort on my part.
I rarely give money to peers, but I do give checks to younger relatives now that we are in the position to be more generous.
Post # 56
I give gifts for the shower. Here in my city, ‘Presentation‘ is generally cash or check in an envelope with a nice card. I will always give about $200, unless its not open bar, I might give a little less. It depends who the Bride & Groom are.
Post # 57
I totally prefer gifts off the registry for a shower.
for the wedding cash or boxed gifts is fine. Cash/cards are much easier to transport and gifts will need someone to bring them back home which can be cumbersome
Post # 58
For showers I try to give right off the registry… bride obviously wanted it if she registered for it! However, if options are limited and I can get something really unique to the bride- personalized, monogrammed… I will do that. For the actual wedding I almost always give cash
Post # 59
Where I grew up and in my social circle, you give registry gifts for the shower(s) and than cash for the wedding. The idea of gifts at a wedding is a little foreign to me… not mentin, I would think it’s annoying to take it all home after the wedding.
Post # 60
I give off the registry because I am young so my friends have not yet set up a home and also I’m not financially stable yet so in my current financial situation I can only afford to give $100-200 ($100 if I’m going by myself and $200 if I’m going with my SO) and in a way I’m embarrassed to cut a check for that amount of money. That’s not a lot of money within the social circle I’m in. So I purchase something in my price range off of the registry instead.
I also limit myself to going only to weddings of people I know pretty well, so if I can come up with a good idea then I’ll even purchase something off the registry that I know the couple will really enjoy.