Just curious – How much money was gifted to you for your wedding?

posted 10 months ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: How much money did you receive as gift?
    0-500 : (13 votes)
    12 %
    500 - 2000 : (19 votes)
    18 %
    2000-5000 : (26 votes)
    24 %
    5000-10000 : (17 votes)
    16 %
    10000-20000 : (19 votes)
    18 %
    more than 20000 : (13 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    2426 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    notmeeither :  bostonbee2018 :  From what I’ve seen, not many people actually make or break even on weddings.  We paid for our own wedding and after the $70K we received, was still out $90K yell

    Post # 17
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee

    I find this so interesting as well. Where I’m from, the norm is to bring a gift off the registry (or cash) to the bridal shower and cash to the wedding. I have really never been to a wedding where guests brought physical gifts. 

    Our wedding is in October so I’m not sure how much we will receive but my cousin had 220 guests and received just under 30K so I’m guessing we will be a little less with our 190 guests. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

    90 people, about $40k in cash.  Most of our registry items were gifted to us for my shower.  We have really generous friends/family!

    Post # 19
    Member
    1978 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

    Hmm, around £10k/$13k, 75 people. Some gave a lot others gave nothing and we got a few random gifts like sherry glasses. We didn’t have a registry or anything and we weren’t expecting much at all so it was a nice surprise.

    I think the thought process of making money or wanting to break even on a wedding is a little sad really. My friend says they “made” £60k/$77k on her 600 person wedding. They used the money on a deposit for their house so used it wisely I guess but I’ve never thought in terms of exactly how much my wedding cost and how much was ‘covered’ by guests. We just had a budget that we didn’t go over.

     

    Post # 20
    Member
    7104 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    leahbeeah :  the wedding hasn’t happened yet – people are still more likely to give you money on the day of. It’s possible some of your guests also just don’t like the charities you chose. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    3617 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I am shocked by some of the amounts here! 

    bostonbee2018 :  i actually live in THE most expensive area in the country to have a wedding – NYC – and also an area where cash gifts are the norm, and we didn’t get anything near like the crazy amounts people are posting here. Our wedding was right outside of the city (Hudson valley) and was about $60k. 

    That said…we also paid for it ourselves and most of the guests were our friends/peers. We had a small contingent of family, and just a couple of parent’s friends (like literally two couples). I actually wonder how th demographic makeup of the wedding changes gift amounts. I bet gifts are larger when there are more older family members/friends of parents who are invited. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We had an awesome party with a poppin dance floor so no regrets there. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    5132 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    We had a private ceremony with a celebration a couple months later. All in all we got about $500 from the 30ish people that attended the party. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    2426 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    catskillsinjune :  Most of our guests were friends/peers and we got the most from them.  There was 2 friends of my Darling Husband…I don’t know them too well but I think they were in the music business give $4K each and some other friends give $1K per couple.  Also some older family give $1K each/per couple/per family.

    Post # 24
    Member
    560 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    None so far and I don’t expect any. Cash gifts are not done here. Just a gift at the shower, or they bring it to the wedding. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Our wedding hasn’t happened yet. We haven’t registered anywhere and are hoping for cash gifts. We’ve decided that we’d be happy if we get $500 but I personally doubt that will happen. We’re expecting around 75 people but judging from holidays and other weddings I’ve gone to with these people I don’t think some will give gifts at all. And that others will just re-gift something they already have that they don’t want. We are inviting mostly family, a lot of which are older family members who could afford to give gifts. It’s odd to me.

    Post # 26
    Member
    733 posts
    Busy bee

    catskillsinjune :  There was definitely a correlation between age and gift. We have a lot of aunts/uncles/family friends in their 40s-60s. They were the biggest gift givers, averaging about $400 a couple with a few giving $1K+. Our friends our age (30) gave about $200-$300 per couple. Our cousins and co-workers in their early to mid-20s gave $25-$50 per person. I am from NYC originally as are many of our friends/family and I know this is standard of what they give. 

    EllyAnne :  I agree that I never wanted to look at our wedding through a gains/losses lens. I would have had a wedding either way because that celebration was important to me. I know my parents and a lot of people their age look at weddings as a way to get a couple started in their new life together. When they got married it actually was for them and their siblings/friends. Today most couples I know who get married already live together and have some financial stability. But if you’re looking at a wedding as a way to get a couple started in their new life, it wouldn’t really make sense for them to spend more money on the wedding than they would get back in gifts.

    Post # 27
    Member
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Gifts are always nice to receive as an expression of love and support, of course, but the idea a number here have expressed that you throw a wedding in part to “get back” what was spent is not appropriate. Traditionally, cash gifts aren’t even approved, though they are very customary in some circles and cultures.

    leahbeeah :  I am curious that the charities told you the specific amount donated. Unless you are asking people to donate through you, usually all you’re told is that a donation has been made in your name. Unfortunately, it’s always improper to direct gift giving, even charitable, which is a very personal thing. Some people may have reacted negatively to that and some may still intend to donate, or donate to a charity of their own choice. 

    It’s also possible that people don’t think you can see the individual amounts they give and give less than they otherwise would. Or maybe they just put more value on giving to a loved one than to a charity they are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with.

    Post # 28
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Our wedding was around 12k and we received that back in gifts (14k and 97 guests.  Not everyone gifted cash) We did not plan on getting anywhere near that amount and didn’t use any of it to pay for the wedding. Went right into savings.  

    Post # 29
    Member
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    weddingmaven :  we used evites and an eregistry system  that are connected so we can see how much was donated to each charity registry and better or worse by whom. It was the only system we could find that would support electronic donations of multiple charities in place of a registry so our options were limited as to the platform we used. We chose 6 charities knowing some people wouldn’t like many and made sure to include a few we figured most people would be comfortable with: an animal shelter we rescued our dogs from, humane society international, human rights watch, charity water, the foundation schools (enrichment schools for underprivileged children), and the electronic freedom frontier (definitely the most partisan). 

    Much of our family is well off and we paid for our own wedding in its entirety at a very lavish place in the NYC area where much of our family live, so seeing Uncle Bob successful Manhattan lawyer donate $5 (this actually happened!!) is a bit disappointing to say the least.

    LilliV :  

    Post # 30
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    This poll might not turn out the most accurate results because it’s not factoring in if people had a registry, how many people were invited, etc… obviously someone who had a 500 person wedding is going to most likely receive more money than someone who had a 75 person wedding.

    But on that note, we had 136 people and I think received about 13,000$ in cash. We didn’t have a registry, but did receive a couple of gifts (mostly from grandparents/ older more “traditional” relatives. 

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