Post # 32
Member
5427 posts
Bee Keeper
If I don’t have the CASH, I don’t buy. So… no debt over a wedding. I think it’s extreme to be in debt for years for only one day. Our budget is $1000. only, That’s it, that’s all. Oh, and it’s cash. That includes wedding dress, groom’s suit, photographer, videographer, meal, venue, officiant, etc… whatever we decide to want at our wedding. Haven’t made concrete plans yet, but the money stays at $1000. (Unless we win the lottery…)
Post # 33
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
You are way overthinking this. As evidenced on the bee today you do not need a budget, plan or anything!!
Post # 34
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
@karineh: I agree!
This girl is the same. She isn’t nice to her fiance (our friend), is ashamed of him (too much to go into but lies to her parents and family/friends about things about him…job, etc..), belittles him, etc.. But…he won’t listen to the concerns of family and friends. I just worry about their marriage. She is only focused on the wedding and not how their relationship is. Even the priest told them not to get married (not saying the priest is right but there are a lot of red flags). They have nothing in common. She won’t compromise on anything (going to restaurants that he likes, movies, etc..). If she doesn’t want to do something, they don’t do it.
Post # 35
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
I think it is because some people are too concerned about how their lives look to other people. When I told my parents we were going to get silver rings to save money they were so shocked! I love silver and I would have got white gold anyway and to me they look the same.
Post # 36
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Personally, I think the couple should only spend what they are comfortable with– That means no going into debt, and no sacrificing other joys just for this 1 party.
I think emptying a savings account and selling off your posessions is WAY too far past “affordable”.
Post # 37
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
@Mrs.Lotus:
I just went to a wedding where I thought that the couple should not be getting married :/ after all of the “being a princess” for a day settles in, shit will hit the fan.
Post # 38
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@TwoCityBride: I think people should what they can afford and what they want too. I don’t also spend time thinking about how much my friends have spent or didn’t spend.
This!
Post # 39
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@Snow00774: LOL you’re right about that.
Post # 40
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
We’re having a wedding we can afford but staying under that (we could afford a little bit more but dont want to spend too much so our budget is tight and wll stay that way).
If you hapen to run into an emergency and have already booked vendors, sent invites but are short on cash, then I am fine with taking out a small loan to pay off the wedding, then working on paying that loan back ASAP. But I am againste planning a lavish wedding that is beyond your means from the get and having to dip into retirement money and selling your car just to fund a one day affair. makes no sense to me.
Post # 41
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
@karineh: Eh, it’s not that black and white. Like, me, I wouldn’t mind eloping. But I’m doing this crazy wedding for my mom and FI’s mom because they want it. However, we can afford it, so it’s happening.
Post # 42
Member
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I think it’s absolutely assanine to go into debt for ONE day. Do what you can afford. Do not take loans, take on credit card debt, etc. That’s just a bad start.
Post # 43
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
I think this is a really interesting topic! I certainly agree with what everyone has said- basically stay within your means. I think it can be really hard for a lot of brides to stay within their budget when they dream of their wedding, and attend relatives and friends more lavish celebrations, and want a similar celebration. Rather than recognizing their own limitations, it seems like a lot of people do anything necessary to have that big wedding. I have to think it can have to do with pride and self esteem. Also, I know that in a lot of families there is a pressure to have that big wedding, but not always the financial help that used to be traditional.
Post # 44
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
@chocolatecoveredstrawberry: To add to what you’ve said I also believe that it has become instilled in a lot of our younger people as a way of thinking just in general life overall.
How many ‘reality’ shows on tv give a distorted view on life and how we should spend our money (think Keeping Up With The Kardashians, etc.) including wedding shows!
Wedding shows are some of the worst! I love watching Say Yes To The Dress however at my age, I also know that the amounts spent on the dresses on that show are not realistically within reach of the majority of us…that is WITHOUT going into debt. Add into that all the other over-the-top expectations that are inspired by say…David Tutera and it could quickly destroy someone’s financial life.
These shows sell because they show the ‘dream’. The problem comes when you have someone unwilling to separate dream from reality.
ETA: I reread my post and just to make it clear I’m not implying that ALL young people are not responsible just the same as all older people are. I am talking ingeneralities here. I apologize in advance if someone reads that into it.
Post # 45
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
To this and every similar thread, the most appropriate response in my opinion is: to each their own!
Post # 46
Member
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
At the end of the day, we’re all married, regardless of how much money was dropped. I am comfortable and happy knowing that I do not OWE on the one day though. Staying within our means is something that people are doing less and less, which I personally find ridiculous.
The only thing I’m willing to “carry debt” over is a car, house, or student loans. Things I will use on a pretty much daily basis for years to come.
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