Post # 1
For as long as I can remember (at least a few years), I just don’t feel happy. I have occasional points of feeling excited/happy about something but then I’m back down again. I can’t really say it’s because of someone or something in particular, since overall nothing is wrong in my life– I have a great family, good job, and health. I also have a man who really loves me. So I hate myself for ever feeling bad because it seems so ungrateful when so many people barely have what I do, and yet still appreciate everything so much. I have had my share of challenges in life, so it hasn’t all been perfect–but still I consider myself lucky.
It’s just that as time goes on, I feel that I am really not living the life I should be. My fiance works a LOT and it’s mainly due to his career choice and because he wants to put aside a lot of money for us–which I understand. I don’t mind that he works that much since I also like my space, but at the same time I feel we are young adults who should be traveling and enjoying life more than we are. I also feel like we should have been married years ago, not just getting on with it now. At 32, I feel I should already have a child.
I don’t know, I just don’t feel SATISFIED. Am I the problem or would anyone in my situation feel the same way?
Post # 3
Well, it could be depression, or you could just need life changes. I know for me, when I’m disatisfied, I try and change things to where I’m content. Maybe planning a couple vacations would help.
Also, do you WANT a baby, or do you just feel like you should have one? I know lots of people that aren’t having babies until past 35. Maybe talk to you Fiance and get a time table for when you will TTC. 🙂
Post # 4
@rubyred605: Here’s the thing I don’t actually want a baby–the thought of having a child terrifies me! But in my culture, it is expected of me and I also feel that I might regret it if I don’t. So the truth is, I wish I could have another 15 years to have a child because I just don’t want one anytime soon! But at the same time I get really antsy when I see that women my age already have 1 or 2 because I feel “left behind.” Am I crazy or what?
Post # 5
I’m sorry that you feel this way. Have you considered talking to someone about how you’re feeling? You said that you have a fiance who loves you, how do you feel about him? Have you talked to him about it?
What was your life like when you were feeling happier and not “down”?
Lots of questions, I know! haha.
Post # 6
Well wanting to travel more is an easy thing to fix! Even if it’s just 2 hours away one weekend, it would be nice to have the occassional change of scenery.
Maybe you could consider volunteering, if you derive satisfaction from that. I did it recently, and some experiences are better than others, but at least you know you’re helping others.
Regarding having a baby, you can wait a few more years, and see if you change your mind about wanting one. In 15 years, you’ll be 47, and my aunt had her first child at that age! It’s definitely not the norm, but whatever works for you.
Btw, when I see girls my age with kids on Facebook, I feel left behind, and I’m only 23. So it’s not weird at all!
ETA – Oh maybe you can volunteer with kids! It could give you a better idea if/when you want them.
Post # 7
I have no advice about the baby, cuz we aren’t having kids, but I feel you on the rest. Do you guys have silmilar days off? Could you possibly do a day trip somewhere? We like to get in the car, take some snacks, and just drive (of course, not near as much now that gas is what it is). We take the camera, and usually don’t cost more than the gas in the car, and the snacks and drinks we through in the cooler.
I also rarely suggest counseling, but it might be a good fit for you. At least talking to a professional, letting them know your feelings, and getting it all out can help you feel better. They can also give advice, and just help you find your path.
Post # 8
@thesweetroad: Well, there have been periods of my life when I felt really happy–and that was mostly in college when I was living with friends, but even then I had time when I just felt low for no reason. I guess I have a tendency towards depression since I can’t really recall a long period of time when I was happy consistently. But now I am going through longer and longer periods where I can’t remember the last time I was happy–so that bothers me. It could be a number of factors–including my BC.
What I do know is that I compare myself a lot to others. I also want to meet the expectations of my family. It’s how I’ve always been. And right now I just don’t feel I’m living the life I should.
Post # 9
@MrsSl82be: I am thinking of seeking counseling too–I just don’t want anyone around me to know because then they will keep asking me if I’m ok and become concerned. I even don’t want my Fiance to know because he is always so concerned about keeping me happy and I know it wuold hurt him to know that I’m just not feeling well.
Post # 10
It sounds like you’re experiencing depression. From what I know of depression there’s two types – Situational, where you’re depressed over a certain thing (like me with my breakup) or Generalized, where you’re generally depressed for no reason. It sounds like you might have some general depression.
I think it could help to talk to a therapist and see if you could try a mild anti-depressant. Also, when I was depressed my BC made it a LOT worse. Now that I’m not depressed it doesn’t have any effect, but when I was I felt near suicidal and as soon as I stopped taking it I felt somewhat better. You might want to try stopping it for a bit to see if that helps, or maybe try different types if you must be on one.