(Closed) Just engaged… and totally overwhelmed!

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Relax and breathe.  You have plenty of time.  I started planning a year and half out from our date.  The time does go by fast.  I suggest you first start with a budget and work from there.  It helps narrow down things like venue, floral, DJ, gown, wedding party, etc. 

Good luck.  You’ll definately find support and words of wisdom from all the Bees!!!

Post # 4
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

welcome!!! gvusara said everything that I wanted to say lol!!! ummm perhaps decide if you’d like to diy any projects, especially after you nail down your venue.

Post # 5
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Hi winechix! Do NOT worry. I became engaged March of 09 and am planning a Southern wedding for June 2010. After becoming engaged, I was living on a high of simply knowing that I met the man of my dreams. However, many of my friends immediately started bombarding me with questions of dresses, cakes, colors, venues. I simply started to freak out and cry. Fiance calmed me down and told me that it was our day and we will do it whatever way WE want to. You MUST remember that. Find out what makes you happy and what you and your Fiance dream wedding is and go from there! We are keeping it simple! However, if you want a big soiree then slowly begin the process. You have many online tools to use as well as friends and families who will be more than willing to help. Weddingbee is a great community to give you planning advice as well as make you feel better! Congrats dear!!! πŸ™‚ 

Post # 6
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Congratulations and welcome to Weddingbee!  This is a fun time and you should enjoy it πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Welcome! Wedding planning is pretty overwhelming, so it’s natural that you would feel overwhelmed. πŸ˜‰

Start by setting a budget. Find out if your parents or his parents will be helping at all, and how much (try to nail down a number; much easier to get things done that way). If they are helping, try to figure out exactly how: are they writing you a check? Now, closer to the wedding, or after the wedding? Or are they paying the vendors directly for certain items? Whether your families help at all, figure out how much you two can contribute, and then you’ll know what you can work with.

Once you have the budget, there are some good calculators (try theknot.com, maybe) to figure out approximately how much you can spend on each area. That should give you an idea of what kinds of venues you might be able to look at, but don’t book anything right away… ideas change. πŸ˜‰ The only thing I would dare to book more than 12 months in advance is a venue, and your date is far enough out that they might not even let you! So you have time to relax, and enjoy! πŸ˜‰

Post # 8
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I totally understand. I just got engaged a few weeks ago and even though our wedding will not be until May 2011, I do feel some pressure to get things done (which is even more intense because I just started grad school this week!) I am having a hard enough time committing to my date, not to mention finding a time when we are both available to fly home and look at venues!

Post # 9
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My original venue closed, and we had to change our wedding date and find all new vendors (except for the photographer) with four months to go for 250 people in Manhattan.  It can absolutely be done, and you have plenty of time to do everything.  Don’t worry about colors or schemes yet – a lot of brides change their mind as the look at inspiration pictures.  As others have noted, you should start with a preliminary budget.  The  I suggest that you work on a very preliminary guest list.  You just need to know roughly how many people you will be inviting since the first item I would tackle is the venue.  

Each couple of months, I would recommend picking one big item and focusing on that.  Don’t worry about anything else since you have plenty of time for everything.  As for everything else, keep a scrapbook or folder and as you see pictures of things you like just hold onto them as you go along.  For example, while you are looking at venues, they will probably have books of previous events so you will see pictures of flowers and work by photographers that you might like.  It’s a good way to find vendors and to get inspiration for your wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

CONGRATS and welcome to weddingbee!!  This is a wonderful place to start thats for sure!  You have a lot of time to do planning stuff.  The one thing maybe you should work on is the venue, I dont think its too early to book that.  You have plenty of time to do everything else, maybe even til next year!

Diy projects are always fun and money saving.  You can always start that now if you dont change your mind all the time!

Post # 11
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just got engaged as well, and we are sharing the wedding date! Go us!  And yes, I have already felt some stress, but people keep saying you have SOOO much time. And I do, but I don’t want something to fill up, etc.  And I like looking at wedding stuff…so heck, I have a good excuse now!  My Fiance and I are getting our engagement pictures taken Saturday and a lot of people are saying it’s too soon for that. But oh well!!  Congrats!!  And maybe we can share stress stories throughout our planning!!

Post # 12
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d would give yourself a few months to gather inspiration from blogs, magazines, movies, wherever. Once you think you have some idea of what sort of wedding you want to have, set a specific date and book your venue. From there everything else can unfold naturally. When people come at you with a million questions just say “We are just enjoying being engaged for now.” 

Post # 13
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m not even engaged yet and I’m feeling the pressure! My best friend cornered me into a discussion of which city i was thinking about having it in (boy and I are from two different states 6 hours away) so she can start thinking about vacation time and what not! Too soon, too soon! Take a deep breath and take it one step at a time!

Post # 14
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Jeez, don’t do anything until at least 15 months ahead of time (and at that point just book your reception hall, nothing else).  Do stuff now and you will just become overwhelmed and spend more than you need to.  Sit back and enjoy being engaged for a few months.  

Post # 15
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

you’ll be fine =)  just breathe, work out what your wants/needs are and proceed from there.

Post # 16
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wow, with a nice long engagement like that, you can just set the planning aside and bask in the glory of being engaged!

You have all the time you could want to enjoy blogs and inspiration sites like this one. If I were you, I would do as much research as I desired but not commit to anything until I felt like I had figured out what I truly loved.

Ultimately, as long as you have your man, the other details don’t matter! Congratulations!!

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