Post # 1
i just cant help but feel bad for my Fiance, he is the eldest child and has 2 younger sisters. his middle sister is already married with children and when we got engaged at Christmas his mum was so excited for us and (as his relationship with his mother has not always been the best) it was sweet in lots of different ways that they were getting on and chatting about it.
so when his youngest sister got engaged 1 month after we did, i was excited for her and thought it would be a good chance for me to spend more time with his mum and sister too and ultimately might bring us closer (his youngest sister lives moved away, not too far but doesnt got involved with family gatherings etc)
but this isnt the case at all, his mum and sister are planning her wedding at lightening speed! and every time we see his mum now all she will talk about is his sister wedding, but never has she asked about how we are getting on with planning our day, neither does she seem to care if i mention anything about it, as the convosation os always reverted back to his sisters wedding plans.
now i know this might sound like a bride war is going to break out, but its honestly not! i have my mum to help me plan things and talk stuff through with, just as Fiance sister has her mum to plan things with, and i know that its mor exciting being mother of the bride, but i just cant help but want to scream YEH, BUT YOUR SON IS ALSO GETTING MARRIED!
i dont know, i guess its a hard one, but is it unreasonable for you to want your Future Mother-In-Law (or mother in my FI’s case) to show a little interest in the big day?
vent over! thanks bee’s
Post # 3
I’m sure she is interested but she is super busy with planning for your SIL (since she isn’t involved with planning for you and your FI). So that is what is on her mind and at the fore-front of her thoughts.
Post # 4
Does your Fiance even care that she’s not showing interest in your wedding plans? Have you tried to include her in the planning? Traditionally, it is a bit different for the groom’s parents. Your SIL is a bride and their daughter, so I’m assuming they are involved in planning because they are paying for it?
Post # 5
When is your SILs wedding? If the date in your profile is correct and SILs wedding is sooner, she may be more concerned with getting things done for SIL first. As your wedding gets closer, she may be more involved. A lot of people sometimes think that two years is too early to plan a wedding, so your Mother-In-Law may still think yours is too far away. Also, typically the bride and her mom are more involved in the planning than the groom and his mom.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
I do think it weird that she isnt more interested and actually changes the subject back to his sister when your wedding comes up. And asking about the wedding seems like a no brainer to me. Even if she is more involved in one, she should be emotionally invested in both. Does it bother your FI?
Post # 7
it does bother him because for that first month of our engagement he was saying how nice it was having his mum around and she kept calling in with different bit and bobs like cake designers flyers wedding faure dates etc, and now there isnt anything like that and he has said about how everything is focussed on his sister – so its not just me who has noticed, he has also mentioned that he hasnt seen his mum for a while because she isnt calling round here, and when we are free to call over and visit her, she is usually at FSIL’s doing wedding stuff.
she was involved in helping to plan our day, but now it seems she doesnt have time to invest in, which yes ok she is now involved in 2 weddings, but i and my Fiance would still like her to help with different bits and bobs to do with our wedding. i would also value her opinion but like i said, when i mention our day, the convosation is changed back to FSIL’s day.
my Fiance parents are seperated, and his mother and father arent footing the bill for wither wedding but they are contributing equally to both weddings.
our wedding is a long time away. but his sisters wedding is only 3 months before ours, so its not that much sooner.
thanks for the comments ladies.
it nice to get other views on it so i can see the bigger picture.