(Closed) Just feel disappointed…and need to vent

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@cradlebox:  that sucks, its your one big day..:( my sisters would never do that to me.

Post # 4
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

🙁 I’m sorry, that is really hurtful. 

Post # 5
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That’s awful. I would be upfront, an tell them you don’t want to spend your morning all alone, and it hurts your feelings that they don’t want to be there.

Can you pay the hair stylist to travel to you?

Post # 6
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry your sisters are being so awful about this. At this point, I think you should talk to them and tell them right out that you want there for getting ready. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable request and it sounds like they’re just being passive aggressive anyway. Honestly they are BMs, who cares what their hair looks like they are supposed to be there for you, the bride.

If you ask them to come and they refuse, at least you’ll know where you stand in your relationship with them. To avoid getting ready alone, can you get ready with your Fiance or maybe ask your mom or Future Mother-In-Law to be there?

Post # 7
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that an hour is a completely insignificant amount of time, that they are being ridiculous, and that there is possibly a very unheathy dynamic involving emotional guilt tripping at play in your family. Make sure you always live 1+ hours away!

Post # 8
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hinting subtly never gets anyone what they want.  It just tells people you don’t care enough to be direct. You have a right to be upset and frankly as the bride you should tell them how you feel and that you would appreciate it if they be there. They can handle doing what you want for one freaking day. If you have to be firm then that’s ok, they’ll get over it

Post # 9
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Can you pay for the stylist to travel to you to do everyone’s hair?

Post # 11
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@cradlebox:  I’m confused. Why can’t they just get their hair done earlier in the morning and then come get ready with you? Their dresses would be wrinkled if they got ready at home anyway. It makes no sense to wear the dresses and a full face of makeup (in the summer!) and then drive to the wedding. I agree that spending the day alone is awful but their logistics dont make sense either. 

@christinamarie980:  And that’s a great idea too!

Post # 13
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@cradlebox:  If your sisters feel oppressed because you are ‘forcing’ them to support you that day then they effing blow. That is totally what the bridal party is for…support. I was a freaking wreck that day and would have no idea what I would have done if I was by myself. 

Post # 14
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@cradlebox:  

You’d be surprised what a stylist would do for the right amount of money. Mine is flying from one coast to another just to do my hair. It’s all in how you present it.

Post # 15
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cradlebox:  I would be honest with them. Say, I really wanted to spend the day with you and get ready with you. Can we work to find a sollution? Maybe their hairdresser can come to you in the morning. 

 ETA: I would say to your sisters, “after the rehersal dinner I would like to come back to my place/a hotel and have a sleepover and get ready in the morning. This is important to me and I want you to be there. I am willing to put $X towards having your stylist drive out here and do your hair, as long as she is done 2 hours before the wedding, or you can do your own hair, or you can use my stylist.” Don’t give them the option of not being there.

My wedding is an hour away from FI’s family, 4-6 hours from my family, and in the most inconvient place ever (Georgetown– driving there is horrible). People know they can’t be late and that being on time is important to me. Future Father-In-Law knew it was so important (because I politely mentioned the wedding starts at 3 and we have to be out of the church by 4:30, so we can’t be late a billion times) that he offered to pay for a hotel room for FI’s siblings the night before. My parents counter offered a conference room with food so they could save the cost of the hotel room and just come an hour or two early. If you are polite, open, and offer suggestions, it is awesome how solution oriented families can be.

Post # 16
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@cradlebox:  Also,how is your relationship with you otherwise? Do you spend time together? Are they openly discussing your wedding and being supportive or is their lack of accommodation  a trend?

The topic ‘Just feel disappointed…and need to vent’ is closed to new replies.

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