(Closed) Just for Fun! Groom Asks You!

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
365 posts
Helper bee

In regards to your first question about clothes…I think mostly it is about making ourselves feel good.  Generally speaking, I think most women exude more confidence and feel better about themselves, resulting in them having a better time and also an easier time being outgoing.  I know that when I don’t put myself together (think tshirt, jeans, ponytail, and no makeup), I tend to be more reserved than when I feel good about how I look.  Its the same reason we sometimes wear nicer undergarments even if no one is going to see them, because it gives us a little self-esteem boost!  Its about being happy with ourselves, but I think it is also because our society places so much emphasis on HOW we look to begin with.  It is a lot more socially acceptable and sometimes even sexier for a guy to not look perfectally in shape and put together.

And about the friendship and judgement question….this is the same reason I don’t usually tell my friends and family about the arguments I have with my fiance.  Because I don’t want them to think badly about him.  But I think your wife probably thinks that you are a judgement-free zone and a safe place to vent.  Have you told her how you feel about this?  Maybe tell her that if she wants you to like her friend, then she needs to share more about her good qualities and not just the bad with you.  And its okay if you don’t really like her friend as long as no parties involved are being disrespectful about it.  Fiance has a friend who I cannot stand, and honestly, I don’t think he is even a very good friend to begin with, but he is FI’s friend, not mine.  I just limit my contact with this person, and Fiance has had conversations with this friend about his offending behavior and to knock it off when I’m around.  He usually does now.


Sorry that this isn’t written better, but I’m running very low on sleep!!

Post # 5
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well, I can’t comment on your first question because I don’t do that. I DO know that I want to look dazzling for my hubby. As if it’s our first date all over again. Want him to look at me and be “blinded” by my beauty, lol. I want him to be proud of me. Note: I know he is proud of me and thinks I’m beautiful but I can be a girly girl and part of my God given right is getting dressed up! (I just don’t see the need to buy a new outfit for every event).

As for your second remark, If I worried about what my husband thought about a friend I was bitching about I would say: “So and so is a great person so I don’t get why she acts this way”. In the end though, if I’m not that close to her, it’s more like gossipping with a girlfriend when I chat with hubby. (Not to sound mean, but it’s true and we all do it!)

Post # 6
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@confusedman: Not all women are like that.  One of my bm’s HATES shopping, even for groceries, let alone clothing.  (bm=bridesmaid)  Me, I love shopping and I love new outfits, but I’m not one who’s gonna add more to her already-full wardrobe “just because”.

Some women, though HAVE to have what’s “in”.  I don’t get this because some of the dresses I have, I’ve had for YEARS and LOVE wearing them over and over.  (Cute, sexy, and I look great in ’em…and why spend more money on me when I can wear what I love and spend said money or other things… like my kids and/or my Fiance or bills?)


As for the wife using your as a sounding board… well… who ELSE is she going to complain to???  😉 Seriously, I doubt she can complain to her friends without looking whiney or anything worse.  I do the same to my Fiance about my family/work and, well, he usually gives me another viewpoint or agrees and just lets me get it out of my system.  He’ll sometimes do the same, but it’s typically about work.  (He’s known to “shoot from the hip” and tell it as it is, and his friends know this.  NO ONE is safe from him when it comes to that. Not me, our kids, or his family.)  

It’s possible she’s looking for your opinion and/or just to listen and let her get it out of her system.  I don’t know and unless I heard the conversation, I wouldn’t be able to say.

Post # 7
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To answer the first question, I don’t do that either. I mean yeah I love to dress up but I don’t go out and buy an outfit everytime. My Fiance has a very short memory so he thinks I buy all my clothes when in reality I’ve had them in my closet for the longest time. hihi

My Fiance doesn’t think anything less of my friends if I’m complaining about them. He cares but it doesn’t change his mind about my friends, we all have our moments with our friends and he does the same thing complaining about his friends and it doesn’t affect my thoughts about them.


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