Just for fun – how do you split up duties between you and your SO?

posted 2 years ago in Home
Post # 46
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Orange County, CA

WOW bees!  Apparently I am a huge slacker!  Darling Husband does 100% of the cleaning (vaccums, dusts, bathrooms & floors) once a week – he’s kind of a neat freak.  He also does laundry most of the time.  He takes care of the cars and maintenance, and fills my gas tank up.  He walks the dog and does the poops.

We grocery shop together because it’s fun, and I do most of the cooking (but this doesn’t feel like a chore because I like it?) Also 3 weeknights and on weekends we eat at my parents (where I cook for the whole family). But he packs my lunch every day with salad or leftovers.

Eek! Should I offer to do more?? Feeling like a bit spoilt now…

Post # 47
Member
571 posts
Busy bee

LilliV :  totally with you on the mild hoarder! It’s so frustrating as I’m definitely not. 

Post # 48
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I do 98% of the grocery shopping and cooking, he might grab something once in a while and make dinner on the weekend or something every so often.

We have a cleaner so neither of us really cleans, but if we do, we do it together and I clean the bathrooms and stuff while I make him vacuum (I hate it haha). But I usually clean up the kitchen and load and unload the dishwasher (again, unless he is making something on the weekend and he will do it while he is cooking).

I do 95% of the dog feeding, we walk the dog together, and I do all the vet trips and organize nail trims etc.

I usually take out the garbage and recycling. He does most of the shoveling, since he’s faster at it than I am. I do the gardening and he will cut the grass during the summer.

I do all the laundry and folding. This is mainly because I am specific about how I fold and organize the clothes haha.

We usually do renos together, with him doing most of the heavy lifting, but I will help out when he needs it. I paint when needed and he will do things like tile, construction etc (we recenting did a reno so that came to mind haha. We don’t regularly do renos)

I will also mention that he works probably 50+ hours a week as a business owner, so I am home several hours before him and have tme to do all this stuff. It has never bothered me, because I would rather run the house than have to deal with his stress everyday and its nice that he can walk in the door and dinner is ready for him and things are taken care of. Its one less decision he has to make in the day. And I enjoy the cooking and organizing at the end of my day, uniterrupted time to myself while I prepare things!

I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and I think a lot of this stuff might change over the first few weeks after the baby is born, depending on how I am physically post-partum. So I am interested to see how he deals with it haha.

Post # 49
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

jessiebear85 :  I really don’t mind cleaning. I might even go so far as to say I like it. But I HATE putting away all his shit for 2 hours so I can actually start to clean. I’ve threatened to just start indisciminately throwing it away if it isn’t put away. 

Post # 50
Member
1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK

Good thread!

We don’t really have distinct his/hers chores and instead share most of it.

I do the majority of the ’emotional labour’ but I’ve learnt to ask for help if I want/need it and to FI’s credit, I only ever need to ask once.

Some things Fiance helps with but I prefer to do them myself; like the laundry. Fiance just doesn’t hang it on the clothes horse as I want him to; he’ll leave folds for example whereas I smooth everything out. I workout early on a Saturday morning, and it’s easier for me to run errands on the way home than it is to go back out with Fiance later.

I think if we wrote it all down, I’d do more, but it feels like an OK balance and a lot of it is my choice.

Post # 51
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee

vertabella :  Your Darling Husband may just really think that you doing all the cooking equals out to him doing all the other chores. I hate cooking to the degree that I often feel guilty that Fiance splits the cleaning with me. NOT having to cook is definitely worth me doing ALL the cleaning in my mind. 

As long as you’re checknig in with your Darling Husband and he doesn’t feel taken advantage of, I’d say you’ve got a great thing going!!!

Post # 52
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Wedgewood Las Vegas

For us it really just depends on our work schedule. I work 8 days on, with 6 days off. He can be gone for months on a project.

When we’re both home, and I’m working he usually cooks dinner for us. However, I love to cook and try new recipes so I’m in charge of that when it’s my days off. He generally does the dishes no matter who cooks.

Before he comes home from one of his projects I’ll give the house a good deep cleaning so it’s nice. Since I do this, he typically doesn’t have to help with cleaning too much. He does love to vacuum and mop the floors, so I don’t fight him on that. 🙂

He usuallly does the kitty litter box and taking out of trash, if he’s home.

We typically do our own laundry, which I find weird since we’re married. Community things like towels are just done when they are needed, by whoever is around.

Shoveling snow, mowing grass, etc, are usually regulated to him if he’s home.

We aren’t one of those couples who have very regulated, seperated tasks. We typically will both do just about everything when needed.

Post # 53
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Darling Husband takes on most of the household work.  Our split isn’t ridgid, but most of the time it looks like this:

Me

 – All the cooking, meal prep, etc.

Him

 – All the serious cleaning (like vacuming, cleaning the bathroom, washing the floors, etc). 

 – Usually does the laundry although sometimes we tag team on that as I’m more particular about the way that loads should be seperated.

 

Tasks that are just normal daily “picking up after yourself” like dishes, putting things away, and taking out trash or more evenly split and just done by whoever.  He’s more likely to run errands for the household or take the car in for an oil change and all that.  When we grocery shop I make the meal plan and list then we almost always shop together.

We don’t have pets or kids, so that makes life much easier! 

Post # 54
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I do 100% of the cooking, and about 50% of the grocery shopping. Reason is I’m home two hours before him so dinner is ready the moment he walks in the door…I can’t wait any longer at that point for him to start cooking!! The other 50% of grocery shopping is us together or just him picking something up on his way home.

He does all of the cleaning up. 

Dog duties are all done together (walks, vet etc). 

He takes out the garbage and changes lightbulbs, things like that. 

Laundry is split. 

I do most of the administrative stuff (finances, booking flights, making appointments etc). Can’t think of anything else for now…

Post # 55
Member
676 posts
Busy bee

I say I do 95% cooking. 95% laundry and cleaning. 

5% of cooking is him smoking meat or griling a meal. I just don’t like how he cooks aything else health wise. I mean its good just… I put on the lbs lets leave it at that.

Cleaning is because I work at home twice a week and can do it on breaks or when its dead for me. It keeps me busy I guess. Laundry is part of that. If I ask for help he does it or sometimes surprises me.

We grocery shop together. He feeds the dogs and I give them their supplements. 

Right now I am not currently paying bills at all besides car and phone stuff. Trying to pay off school loans in under 2 years on my own… so I find it more than fair to pull more weight on chores anyways. 

 

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