(Closed) Just for fun! How does your future FMIL rate?

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: FMIL? 10's the best

    10

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  • Post # 32
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I am so lucky with my future Mother-In-Law.  She has truly become my second Mom and my Mom and I are incredibly close!  She is so supportive of both of us and wants us to be happy.  She reminds me constantly it’s our day and life and not to worry about anyone else.  I constantly say my prayers and dreams have come true with my fiance but pretty much the same thing with my future in laws too!

    Post # 33
    Member
    977 posts
    Busy bee

    I’d vote a 10+…..especially compared to my EvilnaggingopinionatedjudgmentalxMother-In-Law.  

    Post # 34
    Member
    1848 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I give her a 5, which is statistically the average (or very close to it).

     

    She tries, but she raised 3 boys. I don’t think she understands how younger women (of this generation) work or what motivates them. She doesn’t listen to other opinions and can be incredibly overbearing. I know she means well and she raised the perfect man for me – a gentleman in every day, attentive, loving, thinks I’m perfect, etc. etc.

     

    I just wish she’d let her boys be the adults they are. She needs control over everything and does not listen to any other input. If she’d just listen sometimes, she’d easily be a 7 or 8. She does try to connect with me and I’ll give her credit for that.

     

    Post # 35
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    @willibee:  yeah I see everyone is lucky except us 🙁 LOL….oh well! at least I don’t have to see her all the time

    Post # 36
    Member
    7644 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    She’s a middle-of-the-roader. 5. She is more clingy than static, calls past 10, calls all the time, and complains all the time.

    Happy Birthday to my MIL!!

    Post # 37
    Member
    3208 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Wow! So many amazing MILs and some…not so nice ones.

     

    I rated mine a 5 because she is incredibly uninvolved in our lives. She’s very interested in and supportive of her other kids’ lives, but doesn’t really check in on FH and me. When FH and I throw around wedding planning ideas, I forget that his family will even be there. My Mother-In-Law (and FIL) are very nice though, so there’s no bad blood whatsoever. My FH is the most successful and independent kid in their family, so maybe they think we’re self-sufficient? I don’t know, I find it odd! A phone call to say hello once every few weeks would be nice. When we do get together, it’s like catching up with old friends that you sometimes forget you have. 

    MY FH, on the other hand, has an AMAZING Mother-In-Law (my mom, lol!). She basically treats him with the same love and concern as my brother, and he absolutely loves how involved she is in his life. She doesn’t meddle, but gives support and advice when needed. He goes to her for all sorts of advice, and he tells me all the time how much he loves my mom. 

     

    Writing this out makes me feel sad for FH, since I bet he would love for his relationship with his mom to be closer to what it is with his Mother-In-Law 🙁 and reading about other bees’ Mother-In-Law, I wish I had a second mom too! Some of you are very lucky.

    Post # 38
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    She is simply amazing! She’s one of those super selfless people, like, her MOB dress will be the first new piece of clothing she’s bought for herself in years, but she’ll randomly mail us a card with 1k in it. She’s crazy in that way.

     

    I think she really appreciates me, as Fiance has had 4 major back surgeries since he’s been away, and I’ve pretty much been solo taking care of him through his recovery and rehab. She always tells me that she doesn’t have to worry about him so much because she knows he has me.

    She accepted me into the family pretty early. The military has put us about 2000 miles away from her, and when she came out to visit us, Fiance told me that she said I was a keeper and the one. I still remember when he called her to tell her he proposed to me, she was cheering so loud I could hear her. She refers to me as her daughter, and I call her mom. I feel like I hit the jackpot, and almost like it was fate, as my own mother took off when I was 3 and I haven’t seen her since. I like to think I’m pretty lucky. I would have rated her higher than a 10 if I could!

     

    Post # 39
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @ellisrobertson:  Ive only met mine once.  She isn’t even invited to our wedding in Sept.  I feel so bad for my Fiance since I have such a great relationship with my mom.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1926 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I have two- a Future Mother-In-Law and a FSMIL. 

     

    I rated them both an 8 for separate reasons: My Future Mother-In-Law ADORES me and loves giving me presents, emailing me, asks to see me and tries to take me shopping all the time. However, she is very very needy and calls her son at least twice a day. She also tends to throw tantrums if she doesn’t get her way. 

     

    My FSMIL is very very nice but has high standards and doesn’t approve of certain decisions of mine (i.e., moissanite instead of diamond, replica dress from China for $700 instead of a $3500 designer gown, etc). She’s also quite opinionated and also throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. 

     

    These two women also hate each other. My wedding is going to be a nightmare. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee

    A solid 1. She beats Father-In-Law by an entire point (if zero were an option that’s what he’d be). I’m pretty convinced that they are both hell-spawn.

    Post # 42
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    MY Future Mother-In-Law is super chill and laid back and very family oriented.  She is very kind to us and speaks highly of us which makes me feel really welcome in their family.  His whole family is great!  I also really have a great time hanging with his sis.

    Post # 43
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    View original reply
    @Miss2Mrs_Beerlover:  We did things rather quickly. He proposed after just five months, I said yes, we moved in together, got married about seven months later. His mom lives in Texas. Honestly, there was really no time to meet her! 

     

    I’m not sure why she didn’t come to the wedding. My husband’s brother came and they (MIL and BIL) live next door to each other. I thought it was money, but she has since (and before, for that matter) sent us a lot of money both “just because” and to help out when we had several large, unexpected bills all at once and couldn’t seem to get out from under them. So I actually have no idea why she couldn’t make it. Honestly, though, I wasn’t offended. This may sound blasphemous here, but our wedding wasn’t that important to us. Yeah, once we got rolling on it, the details mattered and they made me / us happy, but it was never about the wedding…or the people, really. I was very happy and touched that those who were there had made it, but it wasn’t a big deal. Ugh, that sounds awful. What I mean is that we were all ready for a “have dinner with my brother the officiant and our two witnesses and walk out of the restaurant married” type thing and switched to a ceremony-and-reception-style wedding one night when I very emotionally declared that I loved him and wanted to marry him in front of everyone! Yay, wedding! 

     

     

    lol, anyway. My point is that there’s no animosity between us and she’s extremely generous and kind, we’ve just never met. I’m verrrry lucky that all of our relationships with people are either really great or just very smooth. Even his ex wives (married twice before), the mothers of his children and generally VERY controlling women, have recognized that it’s not their place to interfere in our lives, and exes are often a point of major contention in relationships! 

     

    I’m sorry that your fiancé’s relationship with his mom is so bad / nonexistent. I know it’s not the same, but is your mom open and welcoming to him? 

    Post # 44
    Member
    8686 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I dont know her that well so I would say a 7? When I do speak to her she is very nice but she lives 5 hours away and I am close to my own mom so I just dont know my Future Mother-In-Law that well.

    Post # 45
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’d give my Mother-In-Law a 9/10. She’s amazing, but tends to be a bit… overbearing/nosy from time-to-time (just the other day she was asking about our sex life, because of DH’s medical issue)–I know she’s anxious for us to TTC/have another baby, but still.

    Post # 46
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @chillinchillin:  my Future Mother-In-Law is not a nightmare, but she is having some serious “letting go” struggles that lead to tension sometimes (probably not helpful that Fiance and I’s engagemetn corresponded very closely to FI’s youngest brother’s high school graduation).

    Not reflecting upon anyone who has a great friendship with their Future Mother-In-Law, but for those in the same boat as me, take comfort in the statistic that wives who have a close relationship with their in-laws have 20% greater likelihood of divorce.  source: http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/13/health/kerner-inlaws

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