(Closed) Just for fun! How does your future FMIL rate?

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: FMIL? 10's the best
    10 : (80 votes)
    23 %
    9 : (70 votes)
    20 %
    8 : (70 votes)
    20 %
    7 : (42 votes)
    12 %
    6 : (9 votes)
    3 %
    5 : (16 votes)
    5 %
    4 : (10 votes)
    3 %
    3 : (23 votes)
    7 %
    2 : (13 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @rawrrrrr:  Yup. I’ve known men (ok, my mom knew one guy) who remained single for the rest of his life because mother dearest would drive away any woman that liked him and he liked. So attachment can be a pretty serious issue. 

     

    You seem to be managing it just fine though and the thing is that unfortunately they will not be around forever, so (although it is difficult when they become pains in the butt) try to respect them and ignore their pettyness whenever you can because they can’t be changed…and they are our “elderly” so a little respect should be shown. 

     

    That’s what I try to do anyway – though not so much with my inlaws, but with their extended family who is a whole different conversation altogether. Sometimes I can’t help but fuel the fire because I’m allowed – they’re the adults, not me!!!!…rant over. 😛

     

    Post # 63
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @lolot:  LOVING your Future Mother-In-Law is the best!! You and I are so lucky 🙂

    Post # 64
    Member
    1812 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I voted 9 – she’s very sweet and loves me to death, and we see each other all the time. I know that she has a rocky relationship with her first daughter-in-law (of 13 years), though, and it makes me very uncomfortable to be “favored” like that :-/

    Post # 65
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    6 – sometimes a 7. Depends how annoyed I get at her unwanted advice or stupid comments.

    On the whole, she tries very hard to be supportive and “motherly”, but has a knack of saying the wrong thing.

    I guess it wouldn’t be easy being a mother of 4 boys (who are know grown men).

     

     

    Post # 66
    Member
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Considering I JUST found out that she’s calling up the family and spreading personal information behind my back, as well as getting people to call up my FGMIL and yell at her (FGMIL has been nothing but nice and accomodating to us) about how this is “FMIL’s Wedding”, it’s safe to say she doesn’t score very high– with either of us.

    She’s been nothing but rude and presumptuous the whole time (going as far as asking me if “I know my real dad”, when I have NEVER insinuated he wasn’t my real father). Clearly, she has no respect for me OR my family, considering she feels it’s “her” wedding and she’s made these comments. TWO people are getting married here (and she isn’t one of them). There are TWO families involved, not just her.

    And for all the comments, demands, and needless drama she’s foisted upon us, she isn’t paying a single dime. Fiance and I are paying for every single thing ourselves. We’ve gotten it all organized ourselves, only asking a trusted few for opinions.

    Post # 68
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    My Future Mother-In-Law was totally a 9 up until last weekend….. now she’s probably a 3 or 4. Please feel free to scroll down if you’re not interested in a bit of whining… xD

     

     

    My Fiance has always warned me that she’s a bit of a character, and constantly has to have all the attention on her, but I never really witnessed anything for the longest time. She’s always been super supportive of me and my Fiance, picks us up from the ferry whenever we come to visit so we don’t have to drive 4 hours. But man… last weekend, we went to visit for my FI’s sisters 16th birthday party. We all knew it was going to be a bit tense, because her and my Future Father-In-Law are in the middle of a divorce, and it’s the first time they’ve been forced to spend time together under the same roof. Things were mostly fine that night, but the day afterwords was complete hell. The whole day was full of her complaining JUST TO ME about how awful the Future Father-In-Law is, and how he doesn’t spend nearly enough time with any of his kids, and how he’s to blame for all the stress migraines little Future Sister-In-Law has been dealing with these past few months. Now, all of this is complete bull. My Future Father-In-Law is a ridiculously sweet man, and he does as much as he can to take care of his kids. I bit my tounge the whole time, knowing that she was stressed from having to be around him, and needed to take it out on someone. I let her whine and complain to me as much as she needed to. In the late evening though, we’re sitting alone at the table after dessert, and she’s had quite a lot to drink. She reaches over and grabs my hand, and starts out with “Now, sweetie. You know I love you, but is this whole engagement thing real? I mean, you’re sweet and all, but my son isn’t really settling down with you, is he?” My jaw…. Hit. The. Floor. I just stared at her, and she keeps going on about how I’m too young for him, how I’m not educated enough, how my photography career isn’t a “real” job, how I need to lose weight, and basically that I need to “grow up” before getting married. I start to tear up… which leads to her making fun of me for crying, and at this point Fiance is back in the room, pulls me into another room, basically tells his mother to shove it, and promises me that she’s just saying this crap because she’s plastered. Sure enough, the next morning she didn’t remember a darn thing…. but I definitely still do… o_o

     

    Regardless, I still love the woman… but I’ve lost a bit of respect towards her. 

     

    Post # 69
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @ellisrobertson:  My mom loves him!  We lost my brother in a car accident and they both my parents treat him so good!  He is really attached to my mother too.  I think it is because of the lack of relationship with his own.  When I go out of town on the weekends I call him to chat and see what he is up too… 95% of the time he is hanging out with my parents, working around the house and yard for them, or just over there.  I am so glad he gets a long with my family so well!

    Post # 70
    Member
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    My Future Mother-In-Law is wonderful, I love her so much!  I think more highly of her than my own mom Embarassed

    My first Mother-In-Law on the other hand, there isn’t even a number on your scale for her…probably somewhere along the lines of -100  worst.person.ever.  Thank god we got divorced!

    Post # 71
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m so jealous of you ladies with awesome mother in laws. i have the best mom in the world so im not missing out on anything but its just akward to attend functions w/FI.  FMIL has no backbone. She remarried FI’s dad just to “not be alone” and is miserable.  Always requests money from Fiance, mind you she has two other sons and works (has the bad habit of shopping all the time). She regularly Throws a fit if Fiance doesn’t visit or call daily or when we go over that he never wants to eat her cooking (We eat dinner at 5pm, they eat 7-8).  The lady cooks and cleans all day and caters to her husband, like a servant and expects me to be the same way with her son (those things should be a team effort, I’m not a maid).  She Always comments about my weight (shes overwight and had weightloss surgey) yet gets mad if I turn down something to eat At her home. Always comments about the way I dress Because she’s always in heels wearing a ton of makeup.  Whenever we invite her first, she has to get permission from her husband and if he oks it she says she will attend then ends up flaking.

     

    Imagine how it will be when we have kids???? 

     

     

    Fiance and my mom (family) get along great, he even calls my mom MOM.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 72
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I voted a 9, because no one’s perfect and she’s definitely a bit overprotective of Fiance (he is an only child). However, I adore her. She’s been great during all of this and hasn’t been as nutty as my mom. She’s already planned my bridal shower a year from now (LOL), and she and I can chat and talk. I am really lucky 🙂 My future in laws are pretty awesome people.

    Post # 73
    Member
    346 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I hate my future Mother-In-Law.  I cannot stand to even be in a room with her.  She is so condescending in tone and opinion about me and Fiance.  She has asked him “Are you really sure you want that for your entire life”, made him choose between “her or your family”.  She has called me a bitch numerous times to my face and told other family members it was okay to call me a bitch.  She has said I’m after my Fiance for his money( we started dating in HS 10 years ago clearly I would never have had a clue he would have the career he does especially since orginally he didn’t want to go to college).  She tells her son he has no backbone and does not know how to “tell her no”.  She has grabbed my arm so hard and pulled me out of their hosue i had a bruise.   When she found out what he spent on the ring her response was “she isn’t worth a tenth of that.”  All of this spurred from an arguement between me and his sister 4 years ago in which I told his sister she was acting like a brat because she started crying because my Fiance would not move his car out of the driveway so her boyfriend could park his car there (while i had my car parked on the grass so SHE could park in the driveway).  If his mother would not have gotten involved it would have blown over after a couple weeks,  instead she will never let it go so we are where we are.  I always abided by the phase “your dont have to be friends you just have to be cordial”, so I would still be nice but last time we were there and she called me a bitch and said right in front of me that my Fiance was making a dumb decision, I started crying and screaming about how horrible a woman she is.

     

    At this point in our lives we don’t have contact with her anymore, my Fiance ignores all phone calls and texts from her.  We didn’t see or spend the last few holidays with them cause my Fiance doesn’t think i should have to endure that kind of harrassment and as long as his mom is going to behave in the manner she does, we won’t be acknowledging her.  We don’t know if we are even inviting his mom or sister to our wedding because both him and I are concerned that they would do something to cause a scene at the wedding.   It actually very sad, but at this point it is what it is and she will have to learn how to deal with us as a couple.

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