(Closed) just for fun – whats the least romantic way your SO has initiated sex?

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 32
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

The morning poke is dangerous, I have to make sure I don’t make any body contact during those hours, unless of course I want to get unknowingly banged in my sleep.

Post # 33
Member
8481 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Um. Lmao, all of it? I think we’ve had sex maybe 5 times where it was starting by being romatic. Most of the time we’re just like “do you wanna?”

I guess the most unromatic was when he started while I was asleep. I woke up with his penis in me and I was so confused. Apparently I was having a good dream and started masturbating and he thought I was awake and trying to get him to start something. He was just as confused as I was when I finally fully woke up and asked him what he was doing. XD

Post # 34
Member
3764 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

“You should give me a blowjob”

He has done this numerous times. I’d say it works 80% of the time.

I am also unromantic at times, “Sexy fun time?”

Post # 35
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@imalittlebirdie:   


I am laughing so hard I am crying! that is great. 

Post # 36
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@MsMonkey:  I am sorry, Wanna get sticky? Where do they come up with these things? But really, I am laughing out loud at work at this.

Post # 37
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@shadesofviolet:  “Fresh buns! Come and get ’em!”  Ha! This is my favorite so far.

Post # 38
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@shadesofviolet:  I am laughing so hard I can’t stop crying! These are hilarious and all I can do is picture my fiance doing this.

 

Post # 39
Member
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hmm I can’t think of my for DH but just the other night I tried to initial sex in the less romantic way, (guilty)

We just got in bed and were spooning and falling asleep and I had this monologue outloud even though it should have been internal.  “I’m horny but really tired.  But I don’t know which I’m more.  momentary pause.  horny.  Take your pants off.”

omg looking back that was so terrible.  but it worked Smile

Post # 40
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Last week I had an upset stomach and was throwing up into the kitchen sink because I couldn’t make it to the bathroom. While I was puking Fiance came up behind me and starts getting all touchy-feely. I stop throwing up long enough to say “what are you doing, I’m puking.” He said he knew it but I looked sexy anyway and he wanted to do me. I thought he was just being gross but the next thing I knew we were going at it. It was surprisingly one of the best sessions we’ve had in awhile, even when the dog saw us midway and started barking because he thought Fiance was hurting me. Afterwards my stomach remembered I was sick and I finished throwing up.

Negative romance points. Totally worth it though.

Post # 41
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The Fiance is guilty of the male stripper move of flopping his dick up and down while dancing.  He then will look me in the eyes then down at his dick.  Sometimes there is pointing.  Totally works though because funny, dorky things make me horny.

I am guilty of it too.  My favorite is to just turn to him while watching tv and say, “Release the Kraken.”  Works every time.

Post # 42
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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@imalittlebirdie:  It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office because I literally just about peed myself laughing.

Post # 43
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Most of the time he just grabs my hand and places it down his pants. The only time I say no is when AF is in town.  I want it just as much as he does Wink

Post # 44
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@praline13:  ROFL hahah “Release the Kraken”.

Post # 45
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

Oh my goodness, I’m madly in love with this thread!  I’ve not got anything currently to contribute, as DH has been deployed since January (Sex — what is that again?!?), but if I can remember any I’ll be sure to put them up here! 

Post # 46
Member
3695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Usually after a shower he’ll just walk up to me and say “I want a blowjob.”  Once I had done my toes while he was in there so I said “Fine, but I’m not getting in bed so you have to stand here.” 

Most of the time one of us just says “Wanna do it?”  “K.”  Or he’ll wake me up in the morning “I have a boner.” 

He is usually sucessful, unless I have a bad migraine.  He’s good at knowing when and doesn’t ask, though.  I am pretty much 100% sucessful by grabbing his balls and looking at him like I want to do it.

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