MemberI’ve learned that blowjobs cure pretty much any ailment, thanks to my Fiance. He is very rarely successful, though…
Memberactually, some of the funny stories made me think of my ex
we watched a discovery channel program about some kind of animal (walrus? seal? i think walrus) where the male runs up at top speed (or i guess if its a walrus…sort of shuffles?) bellowing to the female, bites her on the neck and jumps on top and gets to it
so my ex waited till i was reading in bed, got my attention. then was on his belly but with his arms supporting him up, bellowing and making strange noises and jumped me and bit me on the neck. i nearly peed myself laughing…but it did work 😛
Member“They aren’t going to score another touchdown. We might as well go upstairs.”
Well, the next play they came very close to a touchdown, so we settled for the couch. Super Bowls and sex sometimes have equal importance I guess 🙂
MemberIt totally worked.
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MemberLmao my DH does the “penis-copter” dance too. But there is a list with him.. Anything from just straight-up saying “take ya pants off!” to if i say my throat hurts or i have heartburn, etc. he likes to reply “you know what’s good for that?” and gives me the look! LOL he is so crazy, it’s adorable.
Best.thread.ever.
MemberFiance will lean over and say “you want some of this penis” then proceeds if you want it it will cost you. I always look at him crazy but I can’t help but laugh and tell him I got fifty cents on the dresser.
MemberI would have to say we are equally guilty but the laziest thing we do is text each other. He might say “Wanna bone” I’ll say “sure” and he’ll say “ok take your panties off.” That happens more than I would like to admit, lol!
MemberWe were spooning and he just started unbuttoning my pants.
Totally worked. I can never say no to him.
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God, this is the best thread ever, I’ve practically peed myself laughing at these. Unfortunately I don’t have anything fun to add…yet.
MemberFor awhile there his attempts were “Wanna have sex :D” And I’d say no. He said “Oh why nottttt. You never let me have any fun!! *pouty face*. Did it work? Never.
Yesterday it was, “You see I was thinking man I’d like to have sex, then I realized, you’re tired. So not only would I have to work to get you in the mood… I’d also have to work at sex. And I’m just too tired for that.” My response? Laughed, rolled over and fell asleep!
MemberWhen I wake up he’s usually looking at me, and as soon as I’m alert he’ll whip back the covers real quickly and says “Look what you’ve created, this is all your fault!” while pointing to his boxer shorts. LOL
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MemberI bought us matching Super Girl and Superman shirts very early on in our relationship. They even have capes! Right after we moved into our apartment, I was laying on our bed, watching TV, and he jumps out of the walk in closet, wearing nothing but the shirt going “DUH DUH DUH! SUPERMAN HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!”
I couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous he looked with just that shirt on, and the cape. He thought I would find it incredibly sexy (including seeing his junk flop around when he jumped out…), and didn’t understand why I didn’t want to have sex right then and there.
We still refer to sex as saving the day though haha.
MemberOMG the Goat thing! I will never let SO watch Waiting for fear of that exact thing…
Usually it’s “uhhh….I’m horny…” in this like whiny voice. My response is usually “Oh really? Well after such a resounding rendition of your sexual prowess….No.” So that one never works.
Unless I’ve had a drink or two. Then he could call me someone elses name and I’d still jump on him. No..not drunk, but a beer or two just does it for me?
He does the penis coptor thing too, or “bow chicka wowow!!!” booty shake fresh out of the shower…that usually does it for me =)
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