(Closed) just for fun – whats the least romantic way your SO has initiated sex?

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 62
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

OMG one time during the deed he yelled “Flawless Victory!” and started his bowchikawowow dance……

Post # 63
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My SO and I are all about the unromantic stuff. I swear, we’ve never had sex in an extremely romantic manner except our first time after our very serious talk about what say ‘I love you’ meant to each of us, and consequently saying it.

Usually it’s me saying, “Taking off your pants.”

Or him saying, “Baaaabbbbe… I love you.” me- “What do you want?” Him – *hopeful eyes/sexytime face*

I think he’s more romantic than me… (and this may be funny for those of you reading my other anxiety induced thread). I need laughs though right now and this is helping.

Post # 64
Member
3551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Aw, I wish my story was funny. Least romantic occaison would be the time he started hallucinating. Apparently the end of the bed was a ‘swirling abyss of chaos’ and I was some sort of demon god thing from the book he was reading. Needless to say I banned him from reading blood for the blood god ever again. He wandered off to the bathroom (something he didn’t remember doing the next day) came back to the bedroom and decided sex was the way to go. The sex was awesome but strange at first because he wasn’t wholly in his right mind. He said later that it helped to ground him in reality though.

Post # 65
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

“Can I have a blowjob? I had a shit day at work”. 

He has done this a few times actually, LOL. 

Post # 66
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This thread made me laugh so hard!! Some winners from my guy: 

– Rolling on top of me in the middle of the night while I’m dead asleep and licking my ear to wake me up. 

– “Let’s play a game! It’s called Penis-Mouth. Close your eyes and get your surprise!” 

– Moaning unintelligible words from the couch, with his head buried in a pillow, until I walked over to see what was wrong and he grabbed the button on my jeans.

– Unzipping but not unbuttoning his pants and pulling his dick out… then walking around til I notice. 

– OH. One time I ordered a poster online, and he took the cardboard tube it came in, smacked my butt (hard! lol) and started to chant “take your pants off! take your pants off!”

 

He always succeeds. The only time I ever say no is about a week before AF, my cervix tilts and makes it very painful then (oversharing? idk)

Post # 67
Member
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@MsMonkey:  That’s hysterical! This totally reminded me of my Fiance.  What’s with men swinging their parts all about lol

Post # 68
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

hahaha Fiance likes to penis-copter before he gets in the shower, he’s never done that to initiate anything. I am champion of the non-romaticness though. I typically look at him and say, “I’m horny” and then we are off. haha

 

Post # 69
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

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@imalittlebirdie:  omfg!! I was just reading this on my couc and  almsot peed myself!! My SO is on the other side playing on his Xbox and looking at me like Im crazy.

I had a UTI once that lasted a couple days, so we hadnt had sex in about a week or so, so he told me “Babe, your neglcting me, and I need affection like puppies need bacon” Ummmm what? I gave in cause I missed it too but that was the stupidest thing I ever heard.

He’ll also pull his pajam pants halfway down so his dick is sticking partially out like a crooked sail, and pull his pants back up, and again. Then he gives me this stupid look. Um, teasing girls doesnt work you dork! Then I get boob squuezed.

Post # 70
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@allyfally:  HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD!

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@Meowkers:  hahaha that’s hilarious!

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@LaCroix:  hahahahaa at least you didnt thew up while at it!

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@praline13:  release the kraken! hahahaha sweet

Post # 71
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Oh man my Fiance does the “can I put my hot dog in your bun” one and he has several variations to this including “can I put my plug in your socket?” and “can I spread my mayo on your sandwich?” plus he does it with this weird eyebrow wiggle haha it hardly ever works. He has so many more like “Can I ice your Cinnabun?” that its hard for me to pick the worst one. They always make me laugh but they hardly ever get him lucky.

Post # 72
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@Eckle:  Hallucinations from reading a book?? o_o wow that is weird but i loved your story xD

Dh just starts dryhumping me like crazy… sometimes it worked

Once i just was crazy horny, i lost it, tackled him towards the bed, took his clothes off and practically raped him… at first he looked at me with fear… then… he just let it be  ;P

Post # 73
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@autumnmountainbride:  bahahahhahah i CANNOT stop laughing at these lol

Post # 74
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

OMG all of these sound familiar. Except the puking… I don’t think I could. My boo likes to walk up behind me while I’m on the computer or watching TV and just stick either his dick or his balls on the back of my head. It’s gotten to the point where I just start guessing which one it is. Sometimes it works though, so I guess I can’t complain, I am encouraging him.

And we frequently have “commercial sex” during football games where we try to finish before the end of the commercials so we don’t miss anything. Pathetic I know, but I come pretty quickly and…. whatever it’s fun.

Post # 75
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

LOL last night we were sat watching TV and he TEXTS ME (i’m right next to him) “Do you want some sexy time?” hahaha.

Sometimes it works, other times I’m like “really?”

Post # 76
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

One time we walked into my apartment, and I went to the bathroom real quick.

When I walked back out, he was completely naked!

He said, “This is me trying to seduce you! Sex please?”

I wasn’t in the mood, but he got me there with a little “prodding”! ;D

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