(Closed) Just found out FBIL is getting divorced . . . and he’s a groomsman. . .

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

That’s really hard, but I think all you can do is be there for him in the way you would normally, and, if he expresses any concerns, listen to them. I think it’s great that you’re so sympathetic and aware of his feelings – he just needs to know you’re there for him. 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Sorry to hear that.  I think it would be nice to acknowledge that he is going through a difficult time.  You’ll be every busy and get caught in many things, so now would probably be a good time for you and your FH to spend some time with him to let him know how much you both appreciate that he will still be there for you both despite this big change for him.  Also, in terms of guests, who he would like to bring, etc., I would ask out of respect to him and his situation.

Post # 5
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My FHs brother in law is in our bridal party (he still wants to be in the bridal party) and he just divorced from FHs sister..

how awkward can you get….

Post # 6
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

my bro and FIs sister were married and are getting divorced! he was a groomsman and she was my MOH! Its so hard to know how to handle this.

Post # 8
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I kinda think they are grown adults to deal with this, they will behave on our day but I think it will be okay with him standing there same for your groomsmen, they are there to support you on your day.

 

Post # 9
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

So tough, but remember it’s his brother’s wedding and I’m sure he wouldn’t want to miss it for the world…

My Future Mother-In-Law is going through a nasty divorce. Future Father-In-Law left for her one of his college students…who he has since MARRIED.  Yes, my FFIL’s wife is our age.  She’s young, hot, blonde.  FMIL is, well the opposite of those things…My heart aches for her.  We don’t know how to handle the situation, invite the new wife or not?  It’s something we’ve gone back and forth on for months now.

Post # 10
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Virginia I dont think you have too.. its not her day. the most important this is that your FHs dad and mum will be there, but you kind of feel obligated dont you?

Sucks having a torn feeling!

Post # 11
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Ccrane yes, I felt that way originally.  I was certain we would not invite her.  But I have since moved on to feeling “this is your problem, not ours”.  I think we’ll invite her and hope they can figure out a way to make it work.  FI and I don’t feel it’s our place to make a decision which will dub us “the bad guys”.  Divorce sucks, problems like these arise and I feel strongly that it’s the ex-couple’s responsibility to make things work, especially at their son’s wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
40 posts
Newbee

@Virginia–

Not that you really asked my opinion :), but I would totally NOT invite the new wife. To me, it is more important to preserve the relationship with your Future Mother-In-Law than it is to preserve a relationship with your FFIL’s new Stepford Wife. It would cause a lot of drama that doesn’t need to happen on your wedding day. Future Father-In-Law will get over it.

Post # 13
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@thiscantbe:  I totally appreciate it! It’s a terrible situation.  Divorce sucks. In my opinion, there is no good solution.  Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

Post # 14
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Awwww the poor guy! I cant imagine how it feels, hope all goes well!

Post # 15
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@ Virginia –

Tread lightly with not inviting the new wife -as you may insult your Future Father-In-Law and he might then say he wont attend. This happened to a friend of mine, and in turn the Father-In-Law made them feel like the bad guys – and just overall made it a miserable time leading up to the wedding.

If you do not want her to come, sit down with him and “discuss” it him.  Tell him that while you accept that he has married her, but you do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. 

He may work with you more than you think!

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