(Closed) Just found out FH has been lying to me. (LONG)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Do you need to reference the e-mail in order to bring the issue up with him?  It seems like if he’s not going ot be graduating and will be continuing to take classes, there’s no way that you wouldn’t find out about that, right?  Can you bring up your plans for the future, his plans for finding a job, etc., in a way that will require you guys to talk about this issue, without you having to ‘fess up about the e-mail?

Post # 5
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Can you just ask him when his graduation ceremony is?  Tell him you’d like to get his diploma professionally framed as a graduation gift. 

Do you guys share finances? Live together?  Did you see him go to class?  I would think it would be rather fishy that he graduated, but you never saw hime go to class.  If he did it “online” – he’d have to tell you at some point when his “class” was… I just think that you have a lot of ways to “bust” him, so to speak.

Post # 7
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just  tell him what you found and how..  then talk about it. I don’t think its right to not tell him how you found out.. because if you aren’t honest with him why should be with you?

Post # 8
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Tell him how you found out.  It’s a touch hypocritical otherwise.

Was the class for which he signed up one of the ones he needs to graduate?

Post # 10
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@teaadntoast: Agreed

 

Two lies dont make it right and sneaking around pulling answers out of him will be pretty hurtful when he find out you knew.

Just come straight forward with what you did and apologize so he can come straight forward and apologize.

Post # 12
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just tell him what happened and I’m sure it will be fine. If there was a huge issue with you going into his email he shouldnt have given you the password.

It will be hard and probably cause a fight, but you also need to know what happened and why he lied. I’m sure he was just scared of losing you.. but he should have talked to you instead of lying and hiding it.

Post # 15
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, this is tough.  I guess the “right” thing to do is to confess about the e-mail.  I would be way too chicken to do that.  If it was me, I would desperately try to find some other way to corner him about the issue.  But he’s “more” in the wrong I think for lying to you, and you probably do need to “suck it up,” as you put it.

I’m curious — does he know you have his e-mail password?  Did he give it to you?

Post # 16
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I can totally appreciate that this would be an unpleasant conversation, and that the e-mail thing might muddy the issue.

It might be best if you start with your (small) indiscretion and then ask about the courses rather than accuse.  You know, “When I was in there I saw an e-mail from X college about registering for classes and am sort of confused.  Could you explain why you need those since you applied to graduate?”

If you don’t come out guns a’blazin’ there’s a chance he might be honest about the whole thing.

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