Just found out FI & I totally disagree on wedding gown styles

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
1749 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

annalisarose :  My Darling Husband saw his sister get married in a huge ball tulle gown and he hinted at  wanting the same for me. I despise ball gowns and tulle. I went with what I would look and feel best in – a satin mermaid dress. And he absolutely loved it!

My point is – get what you will love wearing, and your Fiance will love you in it.

Post # 3
593 posts
Busy bee

 That dress is lovely. I am also wearing a 3/4 sleeve dress and I love it!! I think you’ll struggle to find one without lace. I think it would look funny and a bit stuffy without lace. I think you do what you want. Why did you even ask him?


Post # 4
580 posts
Busy bee

annalisarose :  That’s a very lovely dress!!!

He’s not wearing the dress, YOU are! He doesn’t get to have a say. I’m sure he’s just seen other photos of women in dresses and didn’t like those, but he has no idea what you’ll look like in your dress. (Course you will look beautiful!)

I don’t mean to offend but the thought that he would be unhappy with photos because of the style of dress you are wearing (not even about the dress falling off, not holding up in the chest, etc.) is ridiculous and if he is the sort of person who would look at photos of such a wonderful day and only focus on that, or let that damper happiness of viewin photos, this guy is NOT the one.

I was very picky about lace on my dress and said UGH and NOPE to dozens of gowns…but there are PLENTY of gorgeous gowns with lovely lace.

Post # 5
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

annalisarose :  well for one until you’ve tried dresses on you don’t know what will suit you. I wanted a lace dress but every lace dress I tried looked horrible on me, it made me look a lot older and didn’t suit me. I have a lot of lace dresses so I didn’t think it would be an issue but none of them were nice at all. Also, you will look different in the dress to how the model looks. The model picture of my dress is horrible, I really would not have picked that dress based on the photo but I liked it on myself. 

Two, on the day he likely won’t notice. If you feel beautiful in it, that’s all he will see. When we got our photos back, my husband commented about a sparkly bit on my shawl and asked when I put it on. I replied it had always been there. There’s so much to take in that he’s not going to pick up on a bit of a lace if that’s the dress that suits you most.

Try dresses on and find something that suits you. That makes you feel beautiful and he will love it on the day.

Post # 6
4387 posts
Honey bee

Well, then luckily no one is forcing him to wear lace.

$10 says he doesn’t even notice your gown is lace when he sees you.  It’s a busy and emotion-filled day.  He’s going to be too busy marrying you that day and will think the woman he is marrying is beautiful to notice or care that your dress is lace.


Post # 7
439 posts
Helper bee

 Yes I can empathize and it sucks! Ive been looking at nontraditional wedding dresses and have gotten less than awesome reactions from fi. As in, he told me one outfit looked like something a homeless person threw together. I’m going to compromise. There are thousands of beautiful dresses and I want to wear one that he loves and loves me in. I’m sure he’d never criticize me in a dress even if he didn’t love the style, but I want him to be blown away with how beautiful and lovely I look. He’s also told me he’s day dreamed about how I will look walking down the aisle and I want to make his dream come true.

That being said I’m not wearing a huge ballgown or a something I really dislike. I’m going to have to love my dress too but I will make sure he loves me in it as well. I think you should go and try some on and show him pictures of you in styles you like. Maybe seeing them on you will change his mind. 

While  I agree its your dress and you have to wear it, I also think it’s important both your visions are honored. If lace is that much of a turn off (even after seeing you in it) and you still go for it it’s kind of like the equivalent of him showing up in an awful colored suit, or maybe deciding to wear jeans and a button down when you envisioned a suit. Every couple is different. Some will have the other wear whatever they love because they love it and others want both parties to enjoy the others outfit. I’m in the second camp but if you’d rather let him wear whatever he wants regardless of how you feel, then he should let you do the same.

Post # 8
1670 posts
Bumble bee

So, I don’t like lace on wedding dresses for me at all, and I found it knocked out most of my options because lace is very in right now. I had the same idea as you, except no lace, and I went to like 9 bridal stores with various price ranges and couldn’t find it so I’m going with a sleeveless dress and adding sleeves by myself. 

Post # 9
912 posts
Busy bee

That dress is beautiful!

if you like lace, then by all means, get lace. Unless your Fiance is allergic to lace and breaks out upon being exposed to it, there’s no reason to pass up that beautiful, tasteful dress!

Post # 10
696 posts
Busy bee

I think you can look for dresses in very similar styles but more illusion tulle and lace strategically appliquer so it won’t look too Lacey and more modern. Or to achieve a similar look, maybe you can go for some lace like embroidery and appliques! 🙂

Post # 11
1116 posts
Bumble bee

While I understand the desire to not wear a dress your Fiance hates, has he asked your opinions on his tuxedo?

I’ve never known a bride or groom to veto the other persons attire.

Post # 12
2888 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I think guys get a specific image in their head when they think “wedding” based on what they see in movies/previous weddings. I would pick the dress YOU want, I highly doubt he will give two shits what kind of material it’s made of on the day. 

Post # 13
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Get what you like, but try on lots of dresses, I started out wanting all lace with half sleeves, now I’m thinking a lace top with chiffon or organza layered/ruffled skirt. Get what you love, I’ve seen some dresses while shopping that are beautiful and full satin with satin sleeves. Finding something with sleeves that aren’t lace will be difficult, but keep looking and I think you’ll find something.

Post # 14
7918 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would not tell him more details about the dress shopping. He might think he doesn’t like a certain style, but he will love whatever you pick because it’s you. 

Post # 15
6020 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

If your Fiance hates lace, he should make sure there’s none on HIS dress.

There was a bee on here a while back who was concerned that her Fiance would hate her dress and/or veil because he mentioned, in passing, that he didn’t like x,y,z style and, unbeknownst to him, that was exactly what she’d already gotten. She wore it anyway and later learned he didn’t even realize that her dress was the same style he’d professed not to like.

I think you should go with the dress/style that you love and feel the most beautiful wearing. That might be the style you’ve spent years dreaming of, it may be something else. But if you’re happy and confident in your dress, that’s going to show through and be way more important than any particular style or design element.

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